The Villain in Your Story

The Villain in Your Story

you are so good at provoking and bringing out
the worst, the ugly, the crappy me.

when i’m bad, i’m really bad and when i’m mad,
i’m really mad.

then, there you are perfectly playing the victim role.

and i, without a doubt become the villain,
the arrogant, the sarcastic, the irrational.

when truth is you pushed me to the edge ‘cos you know this will happen.

when truth is you want this, you want me to be the villain in your story.

you want to make it look like you are being attacked all the time.

i guess you’ve won.

you are so good at provoking and bringing out
the worst, the ugly, the crappy me.

For David’s Weekly Prompt

Me

Me

that mid-afternoon Manila sun
burning down through my soul
that moment you laid
your passionate eyes on me
will forever be kept in my heart
imbedded in my memory’s gallery
with the hope that one day
when our paths intertwined again
you’d choose me
with courage and conviction
with love and devotion
and not because
it is convenient.

for Eugi’s weekly prompt
https://amanpan.blog/2022/05/24/eugis-weekly-prompt-intertwined-may-24-2022/

Maze

Maze

it was a tiring journey
with winding roads
and crazy trails
it has tested my skills
my resilience
my conviction
and my strength.

it wasn’t easy at all
navigating was hard
much more overcoming
the unfamiliar trail
the strange highway
the journey to the
unknown was
daunting.

life raised me
for that
i found my way
my way out
of the maze.

life raised me.

Call It Whatever You Want

this week’s Poetry Reading Prompt “How To Be Alone”

(you can watch it here)

by Reena of https://reinventionsreena.wordpress.com/2022/05/19/reenas-xploration-challenge-231/ is so inspiring that i am up for another response. 

the poem speaks highly of how to love yourself – alone, without the need for other people’s approval and love. sometimes, our desire to belong and to be loved is what kept us trapped in an abusive relationship. and i don’t just mean here abusive relationship between a couple. this may surprise you but relationships between and among friends and relatives could be abusive too. it happens normally when one party is the one always giving and understanding.

“you need to control your habit of forgetting to breathe”, “there is a you telling another story of you. Listen to her.” these lines from the poem struck me the most.

Call It Whatever You Want

sarcasm
arrogance
small insults
call it whatever you want
intentional or not one thing is sure
its meant to hurt you, break you, tear you apart
then the worst is yet to come when you finally
began to question your self-worth and start
believing that it could be true.

sarcasm
arrogance
small insults
bullying at its finest and it happens
not only among friends, among classmates
among co-workers; but between two people
two people who promised to love each other
someone is the arrogant bully who when
confronted claims to be a victim but refuses to
admit to having played the role of a victim.

sarcasm
arrogance
small insults
intentional or not
when you start to doubt yourself
and it takes you to a darker place
walk away before it’s too late.

Never

Never

how many times have you forgotten that you ain’t the story of your past
that you ain’t just a mere reflection of what happened. of a narrative once told
you ain’t that.
never.

i know it feels like dying every day knowing that somewhere out there
a story has to be told a reality you’ve long avoided
but the world doesn’t end even when your story
doesn’t end the way you want it
it won’t end.
never.

how many times have you convinced yourself
to just smile amidst the pain
to just breathe when it’s suffocating
to walk away gracefully from things and people
that don’t contribute to your
well being
don’t give up.
never.

i know you are wiser than your inhibitions
you are better than your problems
you are stronger when in doubt
you are resilient when tested by fate
you are tougher when confronted by fear
don’t lose your composure
don’t quit.
never.

take a break if you need to
but make sure to come back
better and stronger
wiser and tougher
breathe.

don’t lose hope.
never.

For Reena’ s Exploration Challenge
https://reinventionsreena.wordpress.com/2022/05/19/reenas-xploration-challenge-231/

Common Good

Common Good

a smattering of people
opposes the results
and yet too much
and too many chaos
is sorrounding the event.

is it because the minority
is blinded by the truth
or that the majority
has made the wrong choice?

no hate is intended
just a moment of
reflection and goodwill
for the common good.

https://amanpan.blog/2022/05/17/eugis-weekly-prompt-smattering-may-17-2022/?amp=1

Unannounced

Unannounced

how do i mend my broken heart?
my broken mind? my broken promise? my broken hope?
for everytime i look at my self in the mirror
i can’t help but see the brokenness in me.

that broken piece of me you took away
i don’t blame you for that though
but i must say i hated you for leaving me
just like that.

unannounced.

how dare you not give me the chance
the chance every human being deserve
the chance to say goodbye
the chance to watch you go.

but you went.

unannounced. unnoticed.
and i don’t know if i could ever
forgive myself or you, or the circumstances
sorrounding your departure.

it sucks.

it hurts.

it pains me so damn hard.
and i don’t know how to get over it.

you left me dad.
unannounced.
and i am broken

even decades after.

P.S.

Happy Birthday in heaven Papa💕

A Perfect Streak of Love and Destiny/Poetry Reading

A Perfect Streak of Love and Destiny

it’s true then what they say,
no amount of words will find a way
of expressing how much you love when its too great
too good, too endearing, my dear
but i’ll say it the best way my poet heart
can anyway

i love you, for many wonderful reasons
like when you just look at me with so much admiration
how can i not notice the smile in your eyes
and the joy on your face, and for that you made
me the happiest as always

i love you, for the many times you
make me giggle like a little child getting a hand-made doll
or the way you charm me with your classic
boy-next-door wink
oh, how you make me blush,
my heart skipping a beat

let me pause by saying, of course i don’t forget, we’ve come a long way, my dear
and i swear, the rocky roads and crazy road bumps, we’ve been through
were testaments of true love,
worthy of one great love tale

above all, my love, its true what they say
love knows no boundaries, doesn’t even have an age limit or expiry date, ‘cos trust me when i say, at forty – five, i love you
like i used to love you back in the days
when we were crazy and young and careless

ours, my dear, is a love written in the stars
where the universe conspires
and the Gods and Goddesses unite
to create a perfect story line, a perfect match, a perfect tale
for two imperfect individuals, to love and to hold, ’till death do they part

and so it’s true what they say,
no amount of words will find a way
of expressing how much you love when its too great
too good, too endearing, my dear
but maybe not, for a poet like me
‘cos i have a hundred million ways to tell you how much i love you

a perfect streak of love and destiny

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It Ends Where It Begins

It Ends Where It Begins

is there anything
you can’t seize and hold firmly?
you have been shattered
you have been splintered
over the years
over time.

you have dealt
with all the traumas
and dramas so gracefully
that you emerged
beautiful and victorious
over the years
over time.

is there anything
you can’t seize and hold firmly?
i doubt there will be any
for you have kept a beautiful smile
amidst pain
amidst heartaches
over the years
over time.

when something ends
another begins what happens
in between is unknown to many
as to your ending and beginning
the in between was what made you
the woman that you are now.

amidst pain
amidst heartaches
over the years
over time.

For Reena’s Exploration Challenge
https://reinventionsreena.wordpress.com/2022/05/12/reenas-xploration-challenge-230/

Sixty-Five

Sixty – Five

i want a photograph of us together when i am sixty -five and you are sixty – nine
no longer capable of arguing over petty trivial matter sitting
quietly in our garden by the entrance porch your hand wrap around my shoulder
as our minds travel back in time when we  were young and restless
when our love stood by the ground of endless, pointless debates.

i want a photograph of us together when i am sixty-five and you are sixty – nine
the kind that speaks highly of a love that survived and weathered all sorts of storms
for we know love is as delicate as a morning dew
and as fragile as a glass frame hanging by the edge of a wall
easily broken easily lost, but we muddled through the best we can
a photograph that will scream loudly of our love that survived against all odds.

i want a photograph of us together when i am sixty-five and you are sixty – nine
wearing our beautiful smiles over our charming wrinkled faces
a remembrance that once upon a time there was a young beautiful “me”
who fell truly madly deeply in love with the dashing gentleman that is you
and that without a doubt were meant to be together from the start
even when we both doubted and ignored our overwhelming connection to one another.

so baby please hang on there for i so badly want that photograph of us together
when i am sixty-five and you are sixty – nine.

For David’s Weekly Prompt