Happy Birthday

Wonderful Birthday Gifts…..(to the one you love..)

1. Maintain a Lovely Physical Appearance (in other words watch your weight…)

beauty maybe in the eye of the beholder;

but women, you need to remember,

men are visual, that’s a fact;

so dress neatly and be tact,

keep up a respectful appearance.

whether on purpose or by chance.

I read a book entitled, His Needs, Her Needs by Willard Harley; he tells about a couple who came in for counselliing. They had been married for a long time. The wife quit her job and decided to stay at home. She begun to gain weight . By the time they went for counseling, their marriage was in danger. The wife was hurt because whe wanted her husband to see and love her for who she is inside. The husband was upset because he had assumed his wife could maintain and keep up her physical appearance. Granted that their are men who don’ t  care whether their wives are overweight or not; good looking or not. They have other emotional needs that are far more important than the physical appearance. Sadly, though in the case of this couple, the wife did not marry  one of these men. In fact, she married a man for whom physical appearance matters to him….This is a story which reminds us to keep our promise of bringing out the very best  of us for our husband.. this is something women shouldn’t take for granted..its not impossible..i don’t mean here perfection in appearance.Take it from me….it’s not impossible. When i was in College, i eat a lot, but i don’t gain much weight. When i turned 20, i started exercising  ( I still eat a lot though).  At late 20’s (with four children on board) trouble came so i DIET and i EXERCISE; did it worked? YESSSS…now at 37..I say i DIET, i EXERCISE and add to that TORTURE myself (no kidding)…torture myself, because at this age exercising can be very difficult as well as dieting too. So i torture myself by exercising even if i don’t feel like doing it. I torture myself by dieting even if i wanna indulge.  I would have fruits and vegetables while looking at my husband and kids  enjoying the delicious pork ribs i baked. Did it work? YESSSS……of course i reward myself every now and then ….but i make sure i compensate it with the right amount of exercise. I must say i look far better now than ever before….

So for the upcoming birthday of your husband …surprise him and show off your lean, fit body..(start now..if you don’t know how, ask me).

2. Show Him Admiration (in other words, watch your tongue..)

admiration maybe for teens;

but women, remember this,

your assurance of admiration ,

is crucial and essential for men.

respect and admire him;

on his abiltity to perform…..

…to provide…

…to protect…

I once heard of a story (forgive me i can’t recall who told me this or where i read it) about a Mayor and his wife. One day they were walking along a construction site. The Mayor looked up and he eyed a man his wife had once dated. The Mayor said “Look! There’s your old boyfriend. Just think of it, if you had married him you would be the wife of a construction worker.” His wife didin’t even glance toward the workers. She confidently said, “No dear, if I had married him, he’d be the mayor”.

Well they say, behind every good man is a good wife….this is true in many ways. As wives, we have a great deal to do with whether or not our husband will be all they can be.. (men may react, never mind.. this is still true..)

So, gift your husband with respect and admiration he very much need. It is a wonderful act of love, How will you start? On his birthday, instead of the usual gift wrapped in a fancy paper, write him a letter expressing those feelings of love and respect and admiration you have for him. Try it, you’ll be surpised at how much he will (secrectly ) apprecaite it..

3. Assure Him of His Authority (in other words be submissive..)

honor your husband;

he is God – ordained head.

Women, rememeber, to submit;

a theory difficult to accept.

Without question, there is a certain order delegated to the family system. Our chrisitian faith taught us that men are head of the family, while women are to submit and honor and obey their  husband. We (women) are to voluntarily put ourselves under our husbands authority. The question however is, what about husbands who are unworthy of submission or far too incomeptent to run a family?

Considering the fact that we were all made to believe that we need to submit oursleves to our husbands, then by all means you have to be very careful and marry a man worthy of that commitment. A smart woman will take a good, long (very long in fact) look, at the man she’s interested with and will do some serious assessment: Does his demeanour displays humility, love, and mututally submissive attitude? Does he have the character of a good man capable of leading a family? Does he love God and hate sin?  (your serious assesment may come a long   way  ..) anyway….if the answer to any of these questions is NO, or MAYBE… then… quickly turn around..yes you read it right… turn around and run..run as fast as you could…never turn back …. go far..far enough…

Trust me, …it may sound difficult to submit… but the truth is, this is what will make your marriage work…

So on his birthday, send a greeting saying, from today onwards, yo are to submit to his will and abide by his authority..who knows, this might be just what he is waiting for from you….Try it.. I did.. it worked so well for all of us!!

P.S.

Did  i say today, my husband turns 39.  So i say Happy BIrthday to the man who made me gave up everything… (figuratively and literaly).. Happy birthday!!! on your birthday i want to thank you for:  inspiring me to stay beautiful (yes you did)..even if it means working out everyday and skipping on the chocolates and pastries i so much adore; allowing me to admiringly see the good in you…..( yes you did) even if  i maybe stubborn at times; and making me submit  myself to you..(yes you did) even if i was  depressed (for a while….sigh) when i have to give up my job..but that was so far the best decision i made…it worked so well for all of us…

Happy Birthday…..With all my admiration & gratitude!!!

180

When Bad Luck Hits You

When bad luck hits you….or is it really bad luck? is there really such thing as BAD LUCK…How can LUCK itself be BAD?

with crumbling thoughts

driving so fast;

to a destination not certain yet;

disappointment a bit…

Hitting a wall is normal;

stumbling a block is usual.

slipping the floor is tolerable;

choking in public is bearable.

As panic slips through;

thoughts now harder though.

mind blowing thing;

silly feeling.

stopping by for a drink;

don’t know what to think.

hitting by the door;

almost stumbled on the floor.

Realizing what happened;

my mind crumbled.

how unfortunate yet sober;

getting hit by the door.

20131023_095941

(the now “injured” hand)

P.S.

I was 10 minutes away from home driving to a destination i wasn’t certain then (or maybe i was; but still contemplating) when i realized i needed a drink. So i stop by a nearby supermarket to buy the very famous thirst -quencher Gatorade.  As i walk back the car i felt the rather unnatural blow of the wind. I slowly opened the door and in a split second…i heard a loud “bang”…i thought another car about to park hit mine…but i didn’t felt it move, so it wasn’t for sure; or maybe it was a gun?…but i didn’t see anyone running though, so it couldn’t be a gun…..then suddenly… i saw blood oozing down my hands…i saw blood..yes.. the same blood coming from my own hands,… as it was hit by my car door….(my own car’s door) … i wanted to scream because honestly, i could already feel the pain (a lot of pain really)…i wanted to cry too..(who wouldn’t anyway?)…but no! i did not scream, nor cry…with so much grace and composure i managed to grab my hands back, tucked it with my handkerchief allowing more blood to manifest in my hankies. i saw people coming..some had a look of concern, some had a look of surprise, some had a look of….well..stupid curiosity….i  managed to say..”I’m good”…and like every graceful woman, i too graciously entered my car….when i opened my hands i saw a small wound…(just a small cut, where the blood was actually coming from)…i started moving my wrist and when it didn’t hurt much i drove back home….

There goes my story..the story of… when bad luck hits you…is there really such thing as bad luck?

According to Patrick J. Kiger in his article “Why Do Some People Only Have Bad Luck?”; the problem is that even when sequences of bad events are caused purely by random chance, our minds still crave an explanation. Furthermore he said that  subjective aspect of bad luck also makes it possible for people to rid themselves of the perception that they suffer from it. Zwick and colleagues, in an experiment detailed in a 2012 article in Journal of Experimental Psychology, found that subjects who experienced misfortune were more willing to take risks again, if they had washed their hands — a traditional superstitious ritual that supposedly cleanses a person of bad luck.

“We believe in bad luck,” explains psychologist and skeptical investigator Michael Shermer, author of the 1997 book Why People Believe Weird Things: Pseudoscience, Superstition, and Other Confusions of Our Time. He says that our ability to find patterns in masses of sensory data—a crucial skill that helped humans to survive and thrive—also tends to spot patterns in random noise, where none actually exist.

Of course we all know that at some point certain things happen for a reason. Whatever the reason maybe, it’s not always bad luck. After all, bad things happen to even to the kindest people. We just have to be critical about putting a blame on the idea of “bad luck” when things don’t turn out the way we want them to be. There are far better explanation than bad luck itself. And when we begin to see the logical and rational reason for certain events, then we will be equip with the ability to make sound judgement and better decisions that will eventually do good to us than harm. Or should i say bring you good luck than bad luck?

Analysis:  Getting hit by my own car’s door; bad luck? Unfortunately for me though, it wasn’t bad luck; it was a simple case of “INCONSISTENCIES OF BEHAVIOR”. Yes it was. If… only I was focusing on what was really happening at that moment.. (in that case it was simply opening the door) i wouldn’t have been hit by the door, yes, even if the door closing immediately was caused by a sudden wind strongly blowing.  Initially, stopping by to buy a drink wasn’t part of my itinerary. I could have brought a bottle of water from home. (So why did i stop anyway?) ….Decisions made for no particular reason…..(sigh..)  Then, i wasn’t even sure of whether to go for (1.)a “change oil” first, or to (2.) pick up my daughter and have lunch together, or worst, (3.) stop by the mall and check out “what’s new”. But can you blame me? I seldom go out….and when i do, I am always with the kids…so i follow the kids’ itinerary; not mine…anyways, that doesn’t justify my actions though.  You see, there were so many things going on in my mind that morning. And my brain cannot process them altogether at once. My brain (our brains) doesn’t have the capacity to facilitate so many things/options at once.

Lesson Learned: Take things slowly. One thing at a time. Never believe that you can actually come up with a brilliant idea after crowding your mind with tons of information not necessary for a particular moment.

On the Hindsight: My husband calls it “katangahan”…a Filipino term for being outrageously well…stupid. I must admit, he could be right..

Waiting in Vain

IMG_2751

When you wake up in the middle of the night not knowing why could be traumatic for some; not for me…it gives me the opportunity to write down  my thoughts and even the thoughts of other people…

last Sunday i saw a man running towards the entrance of the church (where we went)..it was raining and obviously he was literally wet…what was so surprising was the fact that when he entered the church, i saw him looking all over.. as if trying to check on every person inside.. was he lost? …looking for a companion?…did he go to the wrong church?…but i thought, he could not be lost because he seemed so sure of where to go when i saw him running…he could not be looking for a companion too because again, judging on the fact that he has to brave the rain, surely, he has companion  waiting inside…or he could have not even gone to the wrong church…well as obvious as it seems there is only one church in that area, the other one though is a little further….so why was he acting so weird?….

Braving through the rain

on a windy morning;

struggling in vain

only to see you gazing.

Running through the stairs

as i grasp for air;

wishing you’d be there

with a smile to spare.

Entering a crowded room

my body begun to shiver;

looking for your face i roam

you’re there no more, i wonder.

Gushing through a deep sigh

truth begun to unravel;

knowing you’re not there, i cry

deep inside i die, as i travel.

Frustrating, i cry in pain…

Longing,  i mourn in vain…

Wishing, i hope in disdain…

P.S.

you see, when i saw him whispering to someone, i realized he was indeed expecting somebody inside…unfortunately that somebody is not around….so here is a space for you whoever you are..with the hope that next Sunday you’ll find that somebody you were running after through the rain…

Good luck…you will need that ..and oh by the way…maybe next time, do yourself a favor by sincerely going to the church for the mass.. who knows, that somebody you’re waiting would suddenly appear beside you…..

Potential Abuser

Image

Born with a sweet tongue

gifted with sagacity;

pretending to be forthright

and sinewy

Man of eminence yet full

of lunacy.

Born full of wits

expert to defraud

have one’s name be mud;

man of distinction yet

full of furtive lies.

Born with everything…

…nothing but..

..a deceiver…

P.S.

As my eldest daughter went to college, people begun noticing her beauty (by this i mean physical appearance)..it is beginning to scare me that one day soon she will have suitors around…she will have men trying to win her heart over..men who whether i like it or not may only fool her…as i was processing my own fear, i realized that every mom should talk to their daughters, who, in return should open their hearts and trust their moms and talk about anything that might be of great concern in the future. Because as we all know (men may react)….their are really mean men around….

so i listed down some possible hints that maybe of help in identifying a potential abuser:

1. he isolates you from your friends or even family

2. he monopolizes your time, activities, and behavior

3. he is extremely jealous or possessive

4. he has an explosive temper (take note: BOYS WHO VENT THEIR ANGER BY PUNCHING ARE DANGEROUS; OR IF A BOY FEELS A SENSE OF RELIEF AFTER EXPLODING, better be careful)

5. he doesn’t take responsibility for his own actions (always blames others)

6. he is a control freak (need to explain more? i don’t think so)

7. he takes drugs and uses alcohols

8. he has history of abuse in his family (well… with all due respect..this is true…a battered son may end up battering his own partner someday..)

the best possible way to stay away from this kind of situation is for girls to CONDUCT THEMSELVES IN A DIGNIFIED MANNER ….after all… you get what you deserve…

Who Says Being Holy is Boring?

I want to share with you the editorial written by a student for their year end issue of their school paper. I really think that you should read this…its a very inspiring piece that talks about a vocation which is slowly dwindling lately…here’s with the hope that one day soon women would be able to reconsider and listen to God’s calling…..or better yet as what one the sisters said “don’t wait to be called…check yourself out you might have been called already you just did not hear it….”

Image

Editorial

If Jesus had said to His Father, “No, dad, even if you’re God, I refuse to die for your ungrateful humans,” we’d all be worshipping trees and wearing strange primal clothes and dancing to tribal music now.

If every Salesian sister said to Jesus, “No, Lord, even if you’re the Messiah, I refuse to stay unmarried and frustrate myself with ungrateful children for the rest of my life,” then we’d all be studying in a public school.

The point is, no matter how much we all like to deny it, no matter how childish we are not to notice it; Salesian sisters do good in the world. We’ve all seen it. Through the years, the delinquency and teenage pregnancy rates of Mazzarellians have always been close to zero. Even if the campus troublemakers like to think they’re so tough, compared to the delinquents of non-Salesian schools, they’re practically angels.

Bottom line is every student that has ever graduated from a Salesian school has had reason to be thankful to their alma mater. They may be bitter for a few years—especially during college, thinking about how SMMS was too strict, and how their rules are over-the-top and why was there a school-day mass at least twice every month—eventually they all realize that their lives would suck if Don Bosco’s preventive system hadn’t taught them to not be unruly.

Also, every student that has ever graduated or has ever studied in SMMS has a sister they owe their sanity to. Not all students get along with all sisters, but there is usually at least one sister they can relate to. There is always at least one sister they feel genuinely loved by.

And to feel loved is important to the young. Because the only reason bad people become bad people is because some people make them feel like bad people. But when children feel appreciated, and when someone makes them feel like they’re worth something, they won’t need to try and prove themselves by being complete fools.

And as far as we are concerned, the sisters exist for that purpose: to stop children from growing up to become complete fools. Not all schools are like SMMS. In prestigious, efficient schools, when a teenager is found to be the root of scandalous gossip, he or she will be suspended or expelled for misconduct and bad behavior.

It is only in Salesian schools like SMMS that the same situation happens, but instead of immediate suspension or expulsion, a nun will simply scold the child for three hours, call his or her parents, who will scold him or her for another three hours, and then sit down, remind them that God loves them and that there is no need to be insecure or angry because they are good, and beautiful, and wonderful people, no matter what others say.

A teacher will punish you for not handing in your homework for two months after the deadline. But a Salesian sister will ask you what’s wrong, is the situation of your family alright, are your friends being a good influence.

And a child needs that. And the youth needs that. And the youth needs women who are selfless and unafraid to take the challenge of being not only a teacher, but a mother, a consoler, a friend, a sister.

They say life as a nun is boring and restricting. Well, of course it’s not always a joy ride. But neither is any other profession. Being married also has boring and migraine-inducing moments. Being a high-ranking professional also has low times.

Likewise Salesian sisters also have quiet instances of loneliness. But these instances are only temporary. Because once the gates open and the youth come flooding in, they are ready to commence their mission. To love, and appreciate, and to affirm. And there is so much joy in doing so that any sacrifice is worth it.

If God called you to be one, would you say no, or would you talk to a sister and say “I feel strange…can you help me figure it out”? It’s not being melodramatic, it’s not being corny, it’s not being sentimental…it’s just being you…A TRUE – BLOODED SALESIAN KID!!!

P.S. I got the author;s permission to publish this…(after all she’s my daughter)

Hark the Herald Angel – the musicale

Image

Henry van Dyke said, “Use what talents you posses; the woods would be very silent if no birds sang there except those who sang the best.”

On an ordinary October afternoon, a group of Mazzarellians, after a casting audition, were chosen to play the roles of singing angels for St. Mary Mazzarello School’s first ever Christmas musicale.

Nearly all of them could NOT sing or dance.

Two months of intense practice later, December 21, 2012, six o’clock PM—on the exact night and around the exact time when the world was supposed to end but didn’t end, Hark the Herald Angel, an heavenly musicale that was performed live.

Hark asks… “But how can our big God, ever fit into a tiny baby?”

Anya being Hark …Or, in my personal case, how can someone who can’t even sing, possibly play the lead for a musicale?

Gabriel invites… “Let me take you to a place called HEAVEN, where everything is perfection!”

Den Den being Gabriel…And, for me, the musicale really did take us—actors and audience both—to heaven. It was a heaven where everyone did their best; where the pressure from all sides pushed us to produce an exciting performance no one was going to forget any time soon.

The angel choir director breaks her silence… “God wants this choir to sing the greatest announcement that has ever been

made!”

Carl being the choir director….Truly, on December 21st, 2012, the world did not end as the Mayans predicted. Instead, the world was awakened to the true essence of Christmas—the birth of our Savior, Jesus Christ—by our angelic musicale.

The cast were uncertain about the play at first, but after the whole experience, they didn’t regret a thing, and, in fact, they’re all looking forward to the next one.

THIS WAS LAST YEAR….Indeed  another Musicale is coming….. SOON

Preventing Heart Attack

keeping a journal and talking about your emotional journey on a journal is probably one of the most effective way of getting through when things get tough…when you hit a bumpy road…when moments are far worst than the usual…when people are inconsiderate…..or even when no one else understands what your going through….the journal won’t complain; the journal won’t over analyze your emotions; the journal won’t even judge; the journal won’t tell you your wrong….the journal simply allows you to vent out everything there is that you wanted to pour out…this is something we don’t find from people around us; even from the very person you thought would lend you an ear to simply listen….because in reality, when we are hurt, when we are disappointed, when we are misjudged, when we are scorned, when we are lashed out…………..what we need is a listening ear who listens with his heart…but i guess this is a rare opportunity already….that’s why the situation always lead us to either find someone who will listen (actually you Imagewon’t find one….trust me, no one will simply listen..) or be brave enough and listen to your own woes and cries…and eventually write it down….it would prevent you from having a heart attack…

I scribble in pain;

thoughts i can’t explain.

on this midnight blue;

feelings i let go.

i scribble with love;

simple desire i have.

on this empty paper;

longing as i decipher.

i scribble with hope;

maybe i could cope.

with the pen i use;

wishing yet confuse.

i scribble as i fancy;

images i see.

with mind exploring;

avenue of loving.

P.S.

you see its never been that hard… so the next time your hurt, your disappointed…try not to talk about it you might even be more hurt and disappointed..write it down instead….deal with it on your own…..trust me it works better that way….