I have been anticipating this my whole life as a mom of four girls; however, I didn’t realize it would be like this…the day has finally arrived when my eldest daughter who’s in college gets to have her first formal male/guy/boy visitor at home…on valentines day.
Let me tell you what went wrong with the visit.
First, it was unannounced. By this I mean he did not ask my daughter’s permission that he will come over.
Tsk….tsk…tsk…Wrong move. She was too busy to even consider a visitor much more entertain someone who just came in crashing.
Second, he came along with some bunch of “bodyguards” (friends actually, one being a cousin to my daughter).
Tsk…tsk…Tsk…Another wrong move. For someone strong, intelligent, and driven college student like my daughter (modesty aside) .. it was a turn-off.
Third, he came in prepared for a solo original performance of his life. Yes…you guessed it right. He serenaded my daughter with an original composition. It was sweet and nice and romantic…but again…tsk…tsk…tsk..another wrong move.
He scared her with him over the top romantic gesture. For a first time visit…I personally believed it was a bad idea..although in fairness he sang really well and the lyrics weren’t even also bad.
Fourth, he was too prepared; and his actions were too choreographed.
Well, I am sure you will all agree with me if I say it is more comfortable to loosen up and just allow things to happen naturally.
Fifth, he came in with traditional roses, chocolates, and..necklace…
The first two items I might consider. ..the third. .I don’t understand… Okay, I might be just too pathetic about the whole thing but come on..it was like ahhhhhh…
Lastly, and I think the gravest of all the wrong moves…he came in with a dedication written in the card that has been generically used by every boy on earth.
Here’s what it says: “roses are red, this ink is blue; a girl stole my heart, I’m glad it’s you”………
Now guys…boys…men… tell me…
Isn’t it just right to ask for permission when you visit a girl’s house? (Where is your courtesy?)
Isn’t it a sign of uncertainty to come over with a “bodyguard”? (What are you scared of?)
Isn’t it too “loud” to perform solo on a first visit? (Why show off when you can play it cool?)
Isn’t it awkward to come in prepared with all your “choreography? “(Haven’t you heard of “be cool”?)
Isn’t it scary to give valuable gifts on a first visit? (What happens if you get busted, will you take it back or will the girl be obliged to give it back?)
And lastly, isn’t it pathetic to make use of a generic dedication that I bet have been used for generations? ( don’t you think its nice to write what’s in your heart?)
Well. .that’s just me…what he did might be fine with others but judging on my experiences and hearing from my friends. ..those were a “no..no..no”.
Nevertheless, I wanted to say that I think that boy is really nice and intelligent (am sure of this one). …he just needs to restructure his moves next time…