a deep loud vibration is beating
in cool afternoon sheets.
she heard you breathe noisily while sleeping
in rough hoarse voices.
a melody in a different tone
in deep brightened sleep.
she felt you’re good and done
in shadows right through a nap.
a joyful release of fondness
in warmest sweet devotion.
she felt your touch of coolness
in slow-moving affection.
as you lay down in bed,
so calm and candid.
P.S. Random thoughts during a lazy Saturday afternoon when napping nor going out for a walk is not an option…i just miss you sleeping beside me..
Somewhere in between…
I cried out in pain.
I agonized in disdain.
I lamented in vain.
I walk away over.
I smile in sober.
I yearn to unfetter.
I will be discharged.
I will be freed.
I will be liberated.
For a moment and now..
Pain can be beneficial when it leads to some kind of “liberty” in us, when a sleeping energy is awoken, when unknown talents are recognized, when a understanding about life’s purpose and direction deepens in us.
There is much within us that needs to come to life.
Pain brings them out. It made us see that we have in stored so much love, fidelity, endurance, resilience, hope and understanding in us.
Pain can be a process of purification and discipline in us in many ways..
I can’t think of a better way to discuss this anxious feeling than in long ranting…..(if this is a rant)…let me say for the record that i am not in any way sad, lonely or troubled.
Lately i have been witnessing so many deaths within our circle of friends.
My father died….i never even had the chance to say goodbye.
My brother died…i never even had the chance to say goodbye too.
My father – in – law died…that time i was there beside him…..Ahhhh the irony of life…
Goodbyes are as much as part of our lives as the seasons of the year. The story of gain and loss, of joy and sorrow, of life and death, of union and separation, is inside each of us. The cycle begins at birth when we were broken loose from our mother’s womb. The cycle continues throughout our lives.
Whoever has not said farewell to someone and felt a great heartache and a deep sadness, wanting to stop the process and wondering when the ache inside would ever leave? Many years ago i remembered saying goodbye to my father who came to visit us. …that last little space when an onrush of sadness suddenly wells up and causes a great inadequacy of expression. Dad turned and hugged me. Then he looked at me with a tear prompting to drop in his eyes and painfully said..” i will miss you..”…..It was his last goodbye.
Do we ever get used to saying goodbye? Or should we? I think not. Saying goodbye helps us to experience the depths of our human condition. It leads us to a much deeper understanding of what it means to live life in its mystery and wholeness. we ought not to be afraid of partings that life asks of us. Nor ought we have to hold back in giving ourselves fully to love, to the wonderful growth opportunities of investing ourselves in people and events.
days are long,
weeks pass by…
clock ticks faster…
this time ever…
goodbye, we say..
with hope someday soon
we’ll meet ever again…..
P.S a random rant about parting…ranting for no particular reason…
Trembling voice muttered in pieces
frozen words screamingly- sealed;
tongue – tied feelings suppressed
yet a strength’s surging..
whispering unto thyself…
glorified thy heart…
yearning to glow…
defiant thy faith, affirmed thy attempt,
to give justice thy affectionate feeling –
to love eternally, EVEN!