I’m Sorry, I Didn’t Know

nothing beats the pain
of you leaving
and me grieving
without knowing why
why? because you left
you simply walked away
no words
no goodbyes
nothing at all
and it hurts
i wanted to curse you
hate you, and be mad at you
damn it! didn’t i deserve to know?
didn’t i deserve to walk you through,
all through the days of your pain
of your agony and of your anxiety
all through your moments of doubts
moments of quiet wailing
and moments of silenced hateful cursing
and now,
now
i sit still and quiet
still wondering
what hurts the most
you leaving without a word
or me grieving
for missing the signs
for not knowing the obvious
for simply believing you’re fine
when truth was, you were not
whose fault was it, huh?
yours for not telling
or mine for not knowing?

goodbye, nevertheless, my friend
enjoy your new life in heaven

i’m sorry, i didn’t know

– in loving memory of a dear friend-

For Sadje’s https://lifeafter50forwomen.com/2021/03/08/what-do-you-see-72-march-8-2021/

Published by michnavs

Philippine-born Michelle Navajas, currently residing in Malaysia. Michelle authored the book “After – Rain Skies: A Million Stars” for PWW during their Million Stars campaign. Graduated with a Master of Education majoring in English in the Philippines, Michelle was a former college professor, teaching literature, speech & oral communication, creative writing, drama, and theatre arts. Michelle is active in her writing profession and works as a freelance creative writer. Michelle passionately blogs at www.michnavs.wordpress.com, where you can find her prose and poetry on love, life, motherhood, and her advocacy on abuse and violence. A published author on Spillwords NYC https://spillwords.com/what-if-snowflakes-dont-fall-in-winter/ Her poem “Again” is published on three platforms, on MEDIUM -an International Writers and Readers Space, AFRICA WRITERS CARAVAN, and at WOMAWORDS LITERARY PRESS. kindly go check the following links –https://womawordsliterarypress.home.blog/2020/06/29/imagining-life-after-the-ravaging-virulent-covid-19-pandemic-a-special-journal/ –https://personalitiesofinspiration.wordpress.com/2020/06/29/imagining-life-after-covid-19-a-womawords-june-edition/

39 thoughts on “I’m Sorry, I Didn’t Know

  1. she said she was a friend
    but in the end
    she too is a lost litany to bye bye
    and here is why
    cos no is no
    and so off i did and do go
    far away from her
    but you are kind
    and often on my poetic mind
    island girl

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      1. I’m sorry for your loss. Losing a friend is very hard. I lost a friend from college 3 years ago to cancer. I still miss her.

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  2. This is how death cheats us. We don’t know and we are robbed of a farewell. I am so sad that you didn’t get the chance to comfort her while she was sick or to even say goodbye.

    Like

  3. 😦 This touched deep into my heart. Faces of friends came to my mind. And a nephew, also, that committed suicide. 😦
    I’m so very sorry for the loss of your dear friend. 😦 She will always be with you in memory and in your heart. I know she would want to you remember her with love, SweetMich, and move forward honoring her life in all that you do. As you share her and her life with others they will be helped and she lives on.
    No matter how hard we try…sometimes we just don’t know exactly what someone is going through unless they tell us. And sometimes the pain and darkness that envelops them is so great they can’t verbalize it. 😦
    (((HUGS))) 🙏 ❤

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  4. She loves you so much that she spared you from the pain of knowing. Maybe she was just waiting for the right time to tell you, not knowing that she is running out of time.

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  5. I know I’ve said this before elsewhere, Mich, but this poem really speaks to me following the loss of two very special people in the past year. Your words keep coming back to me…

    Like

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