Tainted

forever i will be tainted
tainted by the dark, sad reality
of the wrongs that i have done
of the mistakes i deliberately
committed
or, did i?
was i wrong to just let you go?
was i wrong to just let you walk away?

when all i ever wanted to do
that moment you said goodbye
was hold you close to my heart
so close you would feel my heartbeat
so close you would know
(or maybe, i was hoping you’d know)
that you were and have always been
the one i want,
the one my heart bleeds for
the one my soul yearns for

and for years and years, i wonder,
of how life’s been treating you
of which path you’ve taken
are you happy?
are you dreamin’ the biggest dreams?
are you writing like you used to?
are you smiling making people happy as you’ve always?

for now, i only have my memory,
my memory of you and of that day
that i let you walk away
was i not man enough to fight for you?
fight for my love,
fight for our love?

for Sadje’s WDYS https://lifeafter50forwomen.com/2021/07/19/what-do-you-see-91/