For Reena’s Exploration Challenge, i used this verse as inspiration “I’m sick and tired of being called ‘mortal’ like, you don’t know that. Neither do I. I have never died even ONCE. Nothing has been proven yet. Stop making assumptions. It’s rude.”
i am a lonesome mortal on earth yet to experience death.
if death comes to visit me i am ready for i have lived my life to the fullest.
i have made the most notable most memorable trail on earth.
yes, i did even if life was full of unwarranted tribulations.
i fought the hardest fights with grace and composure.
i stood by my ground, never gave up, and was always ready to be brave in yet another battle anytime.
even if people around made it so hard i face them with a smile, with gratitude, with love.
i face them with the hope that they remember me for all of the good reasons and not for my failures.
not even for my occasional pride and arrogance or my shortcomings.
and i say forgive me my fellow mortals for all the times i hurt you and all the times i wasn’t my best self.
yes, i am ready for death anytime or so i thought
until today death arrived.
shocking and chilling unexpectedly, i thought he’d come at least in a form i’m so familiar with.
grave illness, cardiac arrest, or maybe a nightmare.
that mid-afternoon Manila sun burning down through my soul that moment you laid your passionate eyes on me will forever be kept in my heart imbedded in my memory’s gallery with the hope that one day when our paths intertwined again you’d choose me with courage and conviction with love and devotion and not because it is convenient.
the poem speaks highly of how to love yourself – alone, without the need for other people’s approval and love. sometimes, our desire to belong and to be loved is what kept us trapped in an abusive relationship. and i don’t just mean here abusive relationship between a couple. this may surprise you but relationships between and among friends and relatives could be abusive too. it happens normally when one party is the one always giving and understanding.
“you need to control your habit of forgetting to breathe”, “there is a you telling another story of you. Listen to her.” these lines from the poem struck me the most.
Call It Whatever You Want
sarcasm arrogance small insults call it whatever you want intentional or not one thing is sure its meant to hurt you, break you, tear you apart then the worst is yet to come when you finally began to question your self-worth and start believing that it could be true.
sarcasm arrogance small insults bullying at its finest and it happens not only among friends, among classmates among co-workers; but between two people two people who promised to love each other someone is the arrogant bully who when confronted claims to be a victim but refuses to admit to having played the role of a victim.
sarcasm arrogance small insults intentional or not when you start to doubt yourself and it takes you to a darker place walk away before it’s too late.
how many times have you forgotten that you ain’t the story of your past that you ain’t just a mere reflection of what happened. of a narrative once told you ain’t that. never.
i know it feels like dying every day knowing that somewhere out there a story has to be told a reality you’ve long avoided but the world doesn’t end even when your story doesn’t end the way you want it it won’t end. never.
how many times have you convinced yourself to just smile amidst the pain to just breathe when it’s suffocating to walk away gracefully from things and people that don’t contribute to your well being don’t give up. never.
i know you are wiser than your inhibitions you are better than your problems you are stronger when in doubt you are resilient when tested by fate you are tougher when confronted by fear don’t lose your composure don’t quit. never.
take a break if you need to but make sure to come back better and stronger wiser and tougher breathe.