have you ever regretted a decision or have done something in the past?
everyone experiences regrets in their life. how you deal with mistakes is what makes a difference. taking ownership of your part is essential in moving on; learning from it will ensure you do not repeat them.
my poem “We Never Dated” is up now on MasticadoresUsa.
“can we just go anywhere, take me out, or take me somewhere
it doesn’t matter where; for as long as you are with me
celebrating our love that has been kept for so long
for we’ve never dated ever, so we make the call this is our chance.”
a lost chance at love is probably one of our most common regrets.
thank you, Barbara, and the entire team of MasticadoresUsa, for their continued support of my poems.
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can we be together forever and ever under the city night sky? we could cuddle together anytime, anywhere we could have popcorn and unlimited coffee over re-runs of “Friends” we could probably have scared or annoyed our neighbors for all the noises that we make for we’ve never dated ever, so we make the call this is our chance. we could have our friends around over breakfast, lunch, and even dinner let our kitchen be your stage, as i could barely make a gorgeous meal i’d be the proudest to flaunt you preparing dishes we both go crazy about for we’ve never dated ever, so we make the call this is our chance. can we just go anywhere, take me out or take me somewhere it doesn’t matter where; for as long as you are with me celebrating our love that has been kept for so long for we’ve never…
i received a text message in the middle of the night from my younger sister saying, “hey, sissy are you still up?”
i typed “yes” and hit reply.
i didn’t expect what she had to say after. my mind went blank. my heart sank. my body froze.
my mind traveled back to as far as i was 10 years old and my younger brother Simon was 9. yes, i am just a year older than him. we were not the best of buddies, but we got each other’s back.
one afternoon, our mama was cooking pancakes for us. we were both enthusiastically watching in awe at how mama could quickly flip a piece of pancake and toss it like it was just a piece of cake for her. so, obviously, pancake time was a fun time for us.
we heard someone knock at the door. “don’t touch anything; you too, behave, ” mama said before she left to check on who was at the door.
and sadly for the two mischievous kids like us, we didn’t listen to what we were told. (yes, i know it was terrible). being the eldest, i said, “i’ll be the first to try to flip this pancake first, then you go for the next one,” my brother nodded as he agreed
i put a piece of pancake back into the pan, put on a slow fire, and pretended i was cooking. when i was about to try our mama’s famous flipping and tossing skills, my brother interrupted me, saying, “hey, what’s taking you so long, give me the ladle; it’s my turn now.” i resisted giving him the ladle as i have not tossed a single pancake yet. what he was about to do angered our mama. he slapped my right hand so hard that it fell through the hot pan. i screamed. i screamed so loud that mama and her visitor dashed to where we were.
up to this day, i still have the scar on my right hand. a remembrance of my younger years with my little brother.
i was looking at my hand on which the scar perfectly found its home for a while now. i cried. i wept. and cried again. and wept again.
how could this be true? no…no…i must be dreaming. but the loud barking of our Doberman outside was more than enough for me to believe i wasn’t dreaming.
my younger brother was fatally wounded and killed in a buy-bust operation.
you see, he always dreamt of becoming an armed officer; who would protect the innocent. he did become one. and for quite some time now, he has made a mark of himself as a notorious police officer who hates drugs.
even before our former President waged war on drugs, my brother was already waging his own war against drug lords, drug traffickers, and drug peddlers. he had his share of a long list of bad guys. and this afternoon was just supposed to be one of those days when after a police operation, he would call us and tell us how he put another criminal behind bars. he didn’t contact us after. well, i initially thought he could be busy or was so tired that he decided to sleep early. “i’d check on him tomorrow,” i told myself. little did i know that i had no one to check with tomorrow.
and now i am struggling between hoping that i am dreaming and accepting that this isn’t a dream.
my phone had hundreds of missed calls and incoming messages. i didn’t answer the call. i didn’t read the messages. but my phone suddenly rang again, and the caller’s name appeared to be “mom.”
i had to get this call, “hello,” i said gently. there was weeping and wailing on the other of the line. i knew then this wasn’t a dream.
“your brother died protecting the innocent we should be proud of him,” mama said.
we were not the best buddies growing up, but we had each other’s back.
i am the elder sister, but he was more of the elder brother to me. he was always there to protect me, ready to punch anyone to shield me.
losing him was definitely very heartbreaking. but losing him this way is making me smile because i know this is how he wanted to leave the world behind; by protecting the innocent and making a difference in his own little ways.
a complete funeral honor was given to him with the 21-gun salute, and police officers carried his casket during the funeral.
hundreds of people from all walks of life attended and paid their last homage to my brother. each of them had a remarkable story of how my brother helped them. he was not just a good and honorable police officer but a very generous and kind man.
as for me, i will never forget him as he sat beside me begging for forgiveness after he unintentionally slapped my hands that afternoon over a fight about who gets to toss the pancake next.
“i’m so sorry, i will not do it again,” he gently said as he wrapped his arms around me.
Author’s note:
Although this is a work of fiction, some of the details included were based on a true story.
📚📚📚 we can never alter the reality nor change what happened in the past. but we can always wish for an alternative universe where all of our what-ifs and what-could-have beens could actually happen.
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“Locker” will take you back in time when the world was kind and the universe was ours to own. a place in time beyond your imagination….
.
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“you slipped your arm around me, nestling your head on my forehead. you smelt warm, like pine trees in a forest somewhere far from here. you put your other arm around me and softly squeezed, resting your head on mine while i closed my eyes, trying not to think.
another Amazon Review of my #1amazonbeseller, #1hotnewreleases #newrelease “I Am Itself Poetry In The Dark.”
a review from India by Debjit Pathak, a verified Amazon India purchase
“Insightful poetries.This book is a collection of some insightful poetries. It says about our day to day life. Poetry is the best to express our soul clearly. The poet has penned down some great emotions and feelings with some great messages for readers in this book. The poems says about trauma, abuse ,violence, love,life and what not. One can easily relate this book with their life. The author has done a great work with this book. Written in a simple and understandable language. Overall a good read. Recommended for everyone.“
📚I am forever grateful to my wonderful and brilliant poet friends who wrote the forewords: Joni Caggiano, Gerlyn Duncan, and Jenna Gee
📚 for my international readers, this book may be purchased thru Amazon stores worldwide available both in paperback and kindle file.
📚for my Filipino readers kindly send us a message.
-Michelle Ayon Navajas, the renowned bestselling poet-author, is excited to announce the upcoming release of her latest book Locker, which is set to hit bookshelves very soon. The book, which has been highly anticipated by fans, promises to be a captivating read that will take readers on an emotional journey.
Michelle’s new book is a collection of fictional stories. In anticipation of the book’s release, Michelle stated, “I am thrilled to share this new fictional short story book with my readers. This book is close to my heart, and I hope it will resonate with readers as much as it has with me.”
The new book has already generated a buzz among fans and early readers, who have praised the book for its emotional depth and captivating storyline. One early reader, who received an advance copy of the book, said, “Michelle has outdone herself with this new book. The stories are beautifully written, and the characters are so relatable. I couldn’t put the book down until I had finished reading all these short stories.”- . . .
📚 read the full article on Hindustan Bytes and get the chance to read one of the featured flash fiction stories from her book; “Father” – it reflects a father’s perspective upon losing his baby during a miscarriage. We always read how mothers grieve, so it’s about time we provide a voice to the aching hearts of the fathers.
it was the busiest time of the year in the lives of everyone whose love for learning would finally be rewarded. graduation season from our side of the world. we see endless possibilities for our future, with some looking forward to saying goodbye to the academic grounds that have become their playground for years. and we, for one, have finally decided to bid adieu to what was supposed to be the beginning of a beautiful and more profound understanding of life and love. from where i am today, i am delighted to see you have become the one you wanted to be. success is upon your shoulder, making me smile as i see the love in your eyes for your profession and me.
time will separate two friends falling in love’s pit fate binds them closer
• Compose a haibun that contrasts past and present;
• From Poetry.org:
• In How to Haiku, Bruce Ross writes, “If a haiku is an insight into a moment of experience, a haibun is the story or narrative of how one came to have that experience.”
five months after my #1amazonbeseller, #1hotnewreleases #newrelease “I Am Itself Poetry In The Dark,” was released i can still see more reviews coming.
Here is a review from India by Komal Soni, a verified Amazon purchase
“A realistic poetic collection! I’ve recently read the book “I am in itself poetry in the dark” written by Michelle Ayon Navajas. The book is a fantastic collection of poems that talk to your soul. I’ve loved the way author has been kind of realistic while talking about love and life in the poems in this book. Unlike other books of the author, instead of romaniticising love and life, author has tried to talk more about grief and death through the poems! Overall, it’s an amazing read and I’d urge every reader who loves reading poetries to go through this book for once. I’m sure, you won’t be disappointed.”
I am forever grateful to my wonderful and brilliant poet friends who wrote the forewords: Joni Caggiano, Gerlyn Duncan, and Jenna Gee
📚for my international readers, this book may be purchased thru Amazon stores worldwide available both in paperback and kindle file.
📚for my Filipino readers kindly send us a message.
i look for you at the edge of my mind it has been long since i had you held in the rim of my melancholic memory in silhouettes of my idyllic dream and reverie.
a remembrance of your enigmatic soul your honeyed words loved me whole i itch in the endless abyss of my heart crumpled from so many scars to start.
you are part of my lingering thoughts filled with agony that i must let rest but i have you kept in my dear heart always, even though we are apart.
how long has it been, Dad? so long that i can’t remember.
events of the past – a lost love, a missed opportunity – shape us and make us what we are, but what if you are given another chance, another shot? what would you do?
“can we just go anywhere, take me out or take me somewhere it doesn’t matter where; for as long as you are with me celebrating our love that has been kept for so long for we’ve never dated ever, so we make the call this is our chance“
my poem on missed chance on love, “We Never Dated,” will be up on MasticadoresUSa on February 28, 2023 (4:00 A.M. CST).
watch more of my poems on Abuse and Violence and Women Empowerment on MasticadoresUsa as we remember the resilience and courage of the women in our lives; our mothers, sisters, friends, and daughters on these dates:
“Helen of Troy” this poem launches at 4:00 A.M. CST on March 19
it is with great pride and honor that i, too, share another publication on MasticadoresIndia, on March 8, 2023, as the world celebrates “International Women’s Day.” thank you so much, Terveen Gill, the Editor, for honoring me with this publication.
and to you, my beloved poet/blogger/writer friends, followers, and readers; THANK YOU for all the love and support.
michnavs 