i forgive the stars for not shining the brightest at nights when i needed a little spark of light outside my bed when my world is at its darkest.
i forgive the rainbow for not showing up the day storm took away my strength, my hope, my dreams when my world is crumbling down.
i forgive the sun for forgetting to rise the morning my soul was broken by night’s traumatic dreams and false promises of a better morning when my world is at a complete halt.
and i forgive myself for not taking on the fight anymore.
When I saw Reena’s Photo Collage Prompt, I immediately thought of the many battles I fought. The kind of fight seemed to be an endless battle, and I wondered if it was time to just stop. Just stop fighting.
Maybe. Or maybe not.
If ever I do, it doesn’t mean I’m done. It doesn’t mean I’m giving up. Maybe, just maybe, I need to gather more strength again. And come back stronger, better, wiser.
i’ve learned the ways of the world in many different manners from different people.
from the eyes of a friendly neighborhood baker who views life like a bread that it isn’t just food but a symbol and metaphor of a more significant journey through life the best ones we keep; the rest we just take a bite and let it go.
from the soul of an old town family physician who is a great listener and emphatic to the concerns of his patients he is not condescending nor arrogant and treats patients as he wants to be treated most importantly, he does his job with joy and gratitude as we should always be in life.
from the magic tricks of a joyous party clown who makes every little kid hope for the best those impossible things may be possible, actually that things that are separated and broken may be rejoined anyway that when we feel overwhelmed by a problem, it could be just an illusion and like magic life will always find a way.
you see, life is never at all full of complications if only we learn to navigate our way and we see it better from the eyes of another.
if i am to die and you are to write poetry ’bout my life would you describe me as the one that got away or the one that changed your life in many ways? or am i too complicated that you’d need it to be a novel in paperback and hardcover copy for not even an ebook would be exciting enough for the world to read?
my birth wasn’t magical that i’m sure of for there were no stars, no moon unpoetic time in the late afternoon yet that moment alone would merit a 60 000 word count requirement of a melodramatic novel.
there wasn’t a music played along as my mother held on for her dear life with the hope of making me see light the world has to offer, ‘though my light then didn’t come in sparks fly colorful enchanting ways but that alone could merit the cinematic requirement of a full length dramatic film.
so if i am to die and you are to write poetry ’bout my life that in return, you’d realize its complications and complexities are as mind-blowing as my character and personality you’d opt for a melodramatic novel which eventually will become a nostalgic film you’d ever produce.
so if i am to die remember don’t you dare forget that you are the one and only love of my life my only death wish would be please produce the most compelling love story the world will ever get to see of you and of me and of our story.
“You don’t have to see the whole staircase; just take the first step.” – Martin Luther King, Jr.-
my first step to book publishing was daunting. and it took years and years of hard work and dedication. i waited for the perfect timing. i’m so glad i waited. ‘cos just when i thought it would never happen; it happened.
truth is, those “dedication” and “hard work” has nothing to do with book publishing or writing at all. as you all know, i became a mom at a very young age. i dedicated all my time and energy to ensuring my children will have enough courage and strength to be out there in the world on their own. in short, i was a full-time mom for a while (a long while).
in our culture (Filipino culture), people would often question the decision of a brilliant and smart woman suddenly deciding to be a stay-at-home mom. i had people come to me and question my decision. and most of these people are the ones i didn’t expect to.
moving forward, my daughters are now mature, responsible young adults. and it’s all worth it – putting all of my dreams and ambitions aside for a long time, just to be with them all the time.
if i am to say a piece of my mind to all women out there here, it is: if you are not ready to make the necessary sacrifices and changes for your children, please don’t ever jump into motherhood yet. work on your dreams and ambitions first. fulfill your destiny if you are not ready to give it up or if you are not willing to wait.
after years of not minding what other people say, i made it… and looking at each of those who questioned and judged me for my decision..ahh ahh….well, they are still exactly where they were 20 years ago…
may you all take the first necessary step in life…be careful, though, as not to rush and aim to see the whole staircase immediately.
hardcover copies of the following titles are now available
Oh! Dear One I Would Fly To Where You Are #amazonbestseller, #koboebooktrending I Will Love You Forever, Too #1amazonbestseller, #koboebooktrending After Rain Skies 2nd Editon #1amazonbestseller, #koboebooktrending,
if you know my story you’d be amazed for mine is the modern account of an era where women are regarded as the weakest human version mine represents the zeitgeist of the unfortunate era for women an era when if a woman speaks her mind she is stubborn she is selfish she is arrogant.
if you know my story, you’d either hate me or love me hate me for not standing up for myself or love me for being the most resilient patient woman, you’d probably encountered this age.
however, you take it i guarantee you i am well aware of my rights, my dispositions my priveledges and i will fight the moment i am least expected to retaliate.
that’s who i am strong determined empowered but resilient and patient most importantly i never rage a war without a game plan so if you think i am weak, and you can just step on me; hold on, dear and be afraid for war usually begins at the break of dawn when the world is in complete halt and silence.
this is my story and it could be anyone’s story too.
you’re the one who crippled me ‘cos my choices my ideas my dreams my hopes were never ever good enough for you not even the simplest color of my nails to the most complex house decor so, yeah it’s all on you you’re always the one the only best.
but i tell you gone are those days when men rule the world when husbands have more power than wives when men are the only voice when their minds bear the ultimate sovereign truth when men are given ample rights and opportunities than women.