Papa

Papa
.
how can i ever get over you?
how can i not think ’bout you?
i kept your memories
dearly in my heart for so long
and oh, how i can forget you
even for a while?
.
they say time and distance
will make you forget
but that won’t gonna work for me
it has been so long, oh, so long
i could clearly see your face smile over me,
i could hear you speak to me in your soft modulated voice, i could feel your
warm embrace and comforting touch
.
so much has happened, and there
has been so many changes
i bet you don’t even know anymore
the songs played on the radio
or that, sorry but you have to know
rock bands are popular no more
i know it’s sad, and i too am sad
believe me, i am sad
.
how can i ever forget,
the first time my heart has swooned
by your endearing voice,
soothing, perfect just for me,
i’d fall asleep easily, on your lap,
on your shoulder, and oh, please
i could trade anything, yes anything
just to hear your voice again
.
your voice, ah, your voice
is kept carefully in the
deepest recesses of my being
every beat of my heart is every
lullaby you sing, every breath i take
is every melody of your undying love
.
Papa, let’s sing together, one more time
“Michelle, ma belle
These are words
that go together well
My Michelle
Michelle, ma belle…” 

You Miss Another One Of My Birthdays Again!

I wish you’re beside me right now
‘cos there’s just so much I wanna tell you
after all, you’re at your best listening to my stories
your eyes, oh how I remember they light up
to your heart’s desire
when I giggle, when I laugh
at my own faulty storytelling technique

I swear I could finally win, any
word games you would challenge me
for oh, I bet you didn’t know
I’ve learned a lot overtime
I’ve mastered it for a while
and I would bet every single coin
there is in my pocket for this

do you remember how I’d cry
but I wouldn’t say a word why?
I was hurt, so hurt I know you will be
if I tell you why, but, with you
no amount of words is needed
nor a great amount of pep talk
is required, with you heaven is on earth

and right now, just right now
I wish you’re beside me
there’s just so much I wanna tell you
‘cos papa, nothing beats your warm angelic embrace
your comforting words and your heavenly presence

you are still, the only man who truly
believes in me even when I say nothing at all
and, I could trade anything just to be
with you right now

and oh, papa, you miss another one of my birthdays again!

P.S.

A late Father’s day poem for my papa in heaven wishing he is with me on my birthday (late birthday post too)

Family

what does it really take, to be a family?

a mother?

a father?

a sister?

or a brother?

will that single scientific bond called DNA be enough?

or is it a requirement?

but what happens when apart  from that scientific bond called DNA

nothing binds you anymore?

what if that basic molecule contains nothing but the instructions an individual needs?

to develop? 

to live?

we need more than just DNA to belong

there is the need for someone to be loved unconditionally in spite of

there is the need for someone  be valued and cherished when things are not easy

to belong, to be one, that is family; for life, our forever, our promise

All I Could Ever Be

All I Ever Could Be

Defending the poor and unfortunate

caring with a heart so compassionate

ah! a lawyer that’s what I will be

back then as a little girl I decided with glee.

Broadcasting news on TV

doing it with a mind so steady

ah! a television anchor I see

back in high school, I was so carefree.

Pouring thoughts on paper

scribbling late at night so dear

ah! a journalist I will be

back in college with free will.

Never became a lawyer really

it wasn’t my dream actually

‘Twas a childish thing to wish

no dirt to dish.

Broadcasting wasn’t even for me

‘though I had the chance to be

you see surgery on the neck

making it hard to speak.

A writer I may have always been

creating stories now and then

putting actions into words

screaming as I scribble with thoughts.

You see there’s something I missed

never imagined I’d enjoy it with bliss

caring for little souls, giving them a place to grow

motherhood is what makes me glow.

Six Months After

“you are beautiful amidst adversaries,

you are resilient amidst tragedies.”

it has been over six months since I last held your hands and kissed you goodnight; it was the longest six months of our lives. others have succumbed to the tragedy, a tragedy no man would ever wish to go through. a tragedy I never even thought I’d witnessed in this lifetime.

the world stopped.

in a snap of a finger and a blink of an eye, everything changed.

but you my dear never changed. you remained humble, resilient, and loving.

you never complained when everyone was complaining. you never rant when everyone was mad. you never questioned when everyone was in doubt.

you remained calm, even in chaos. you remained brave in the presence of fear.

you smiled when everyone else wasn’t.

you were grateful even when the whole world thought there is nothing to be thankful about.

you have kept your composure, your faith and, your cheerfulness.

my child, you possess an everlasting beauty – not even time nor old age can take away.

six months after, here we are my child with tears in our eyes and smiles on our faces – back in each other’s arms.

you are now back in my loving arms. your safest place. your greatest comfort.

for Kate and Eugi’s Weekley Challenge

I will also link this post to Sadje’s Weekly Challenge https://lifeafter50forwomen.com/category/what-do-you-see/

We know that Baby pandas are amazingly small. Each cub weighs only about 3 ½ ounces (100 grams) at birth. And because of that, a panda mother must carry her baby around very gently and take care of it until it is big enough to move around on its own. Pandas are known for being very careful and protective mothers. I suppose with such tiny babies, they have to be! Just like a panda mom, I too was very protective of my children. I resigned from my job and took care of them full time. And for the longest time, I was always by their side. I was on a constant guard of them; on everything and anything – until pandemic happens. We were separated for a long while and yes, I was devastated and worried at first. Devastated, because I never thought, something terrible as the pandemic could happen and separate us. Worried, because I was never away from them for so long. But lo, and behold! I must have done something great for raising my children. I never thought they could actually live independently on their own ( without complaints). I never imagined they’d be able to feed themselves on their own ( without me having to prepare their meals. And I also never imagined they remain calm and joyful and optimistic (amidst the distance). The pandemic has made me the proudest mother that I am today. I raised mentally and emotionally stable daughters. They are generally happy children and they chose to remain the same.

Now, I am just like a panda mom. My then kids were like newborn pandas who cry for milk now and then in between feedings, a panda mother will rarely put her baby down. When sitting, the mother holds the tiny creature in her paw. When she is on the move, she carries the baby gently in her mouth. I was like that. But now with the pandemic, I realized my daughters have grown up just like panda cubs; the moment they learn to walk on their own panda mom, allows them to freely explore the world around them. 

My children are now ready to explore the world freely on their own. 

Who Am I?

 

 

I am my mother’s daughter,
dignified and loved.

I am my siblings’ sister,
adored and emulated.

I am my friends’ confidant,
trusted and honored.

I am my nation’s obedient citizen,
responsible and loyal.

I am an empowered woman,
independent and reliable.

Above all, I am a proud mother,
I who lovingly nurtures a child.

Each deepened crease in my face
symbolizes every single waking night of my life
that I sing a lullaby,
that I watch a baby sleep,
that I ensure they wake up with a better tomorrow.

 

for Sadje’s
https://lifeafter50forwomen.com/2020/10/19/what-do-you-see-52-19-october20/

 

 

Michelle #fridayfun

“What’s in a name? that which we call a rose
By any other name would smell as sweet.”
― William Shakespeare, Romeo and Juliet

IMG-20200720-WA0004
“your other self could be just right there where you are, waiting to emerge, be careful though as you might not like to reveal it”
M – Merry, abundant joy
I -Influential, your thoughts have weight
C – Calm, your presence is comforting
H – Happy, a joy to have around
E – Eloquent, the gift of expression
– Laidback, not sweating the small stuff
L – Light-hearted, you have an easy laughter
E -Energetic, an indefatigable spirit

 

( a lovely, acrostic poem given by one of my high school students many years ago)

 

 

I will tell you a story, and let me begin by saying my name is Michelle; Michelle from the Beatles song. Obviously, my father was a super Beatles fan, that he named his firstborn daughter, Michelle. My mother used to say that, my papa would sing me the song to tuck me to bed or to make me stop crying. And so I grow up listening and singing to the song alongside my father. Yes, again I too have become a Beatles fan myself. Do I have the choice then? Maybe no. But I learned to love the melody and eventually learned the lyrics. And it is for me, the greatest love song ever was written. It has my name on it, why not?
My father would repeatedly tell me the story of how the song was born. According to him, John Lennon invited McCartney over to college parties when he was still in high school, and French culture was a trend. Paul would try to fit in by pretending to be French. He would play little tunes in French, but he actually only knew a few French words so he would make up words. John told him that he should make it into a real song.  So he asked his friend Ivan Vaughan, whose wife was a French teacher, for a French name and some words to rhyme with it. Vaughan came up with “Michelle, ma belle.” McCartney then came up with the next line, “These are words that go together well,” and Vaughan taught him the French translation, which he used in the song as well. When he played it for Lennon, John suggested the “I love you” to be part of the middle verse.
My father would then add, “this was not based on any particular woman, they chose the name because it sounded good, and I chose this name for you because it fits perfectly your angelic face, you look so good as a baby, and so I thought, what better way to call you than, Michelle
“I love you, I love you, I love you
That’s all I want to say
Until I find a way
I will say the only words I know that
You’ll understand”
Well, my dad would sing me the chorus all the time, especially if I did so well in my class, at home, or even playing scrabble and crossword puzzles with him. I was the happiest little girl who never run out to play outside the house. I was the happiest girl who at 5 years old enjoyed playing scrabble with an adult. Yes, again I was not your typical little girl then. But I was very happy. They said, I never had tantrums. Who will have tantrums if you have a father who tells you how much he loves you over and over in a song, all the time, every day? 
But hold on, there is the flip side of the story.
I say I wasn’t your perfect little girl though. I had my share of naughtiness and playfulness. My father would put up to that or even tolerate me for being naughty most of the time, but again, there is the “but”, only up to a certain limit. I was very naughty that I’d push the limits too sometimes or maybe I was just so confident I wouldn’t get a dose of my medicine, so to say. (After all, I am a daddy’s little girl)
My father is probably the kindest human being you will encounter. He never yells, nor shout. He’d talk to you in a very calm voice even if when he is already mad. And so because of that, we wouldn’t even know if he was mad or simply being nice.
Well, not exactly. I knew for sure he is mad, particularly on me if and when he calls me “Mikaela”
While, Michelle for him is his loving, obedient, kind, and well-mannered daughter, the “Mikaela” is his naughty, sometimes stubborn mischievous child. He can tolerate my behaviors except for one thing; I have the habit of not finishing my food. And so he would calmly say “Mikaela, babaunin mo as higaan and pagkain kapag di mo inubos yan” (Mikaela, you will bring the food in your bed when you sleep if you don’t finish that.) And I never dared challenge him on that because the first and last time I did, he really put the food beside me while sleeping.
And so growing up was like that. The nice me is “Michelle” and the naughty me is “Mikaela”, but it was only my father who has the authority and the power to use that name on me. Well, not really by now, my siblings and my mother would do so by now, if they want to tease me and make me cry for missing our father who passed away already.
What’s in it for a name? A lot, especially if it has made you see both sides of the world.
“Hush now Michelle, end this before you even begin to cry”…
Linking to Kate’s Friday – Fun – Another https://aroused.blog/2020/07/18/friday-fun-another/

Home Soon

it was though just yesterday
when I used to hold your tiny hands
as we walked  down the stairs
oh, how you confidently
let go, while others cried in despair
for not wanting to

as days became weeks
and weeks became months
I barely noticed how years flew by
‘cos every moment with you
is a loving moment
of memories to keep
of how our world used to be
until the last days of my life

I never leave you behind
never alone
for you, I will adjust my world
reorganize my life
and dream the dreams
you dream

but my child,
our world has changed
and I have to leave you alone
my heart bleeds
and I am lost
lost of words

remember your dream is my dream
and your hope is my hope
for that, I will be home
soon…

 

 

img_1894

( For the visually challenged reader, the image shows an old bearded man standing on a stone staircase that is leading to a tower. In the background you can see mountains enshrouded in clouds)

https://lifeafter50forwomen.com/2020/07/13/what-do-you-see-38-13-july-2020/

Soar Like an Eagle #soar#writephoto

 

you told me
to soar like
an eagle
aim high
and fly
dream the biggest
and reach for the skies
oh, you said
remember, it won’t
be that simple
nor easy
you taught me
life lessons as an eagle
learns to fly
they fly alone or at least
with their kind
and in life
find people
who think like you
dream, grow together
never waste time with naysayers
concentrate
focus
as eagles do
embrace challenges
make sure to welcome
every storm
as eagles do
for storms lift them above the clouds
where they can rest their wings
and become stronger

and because of you
I, now soar higher
above the clouds
better
stronger
as eagles
do

Happy Father’s day Dad, wherever you are❤❤❤

 

Linking to Sue’s https://scvincent.com/2020/06/18/thursday-photo-prompt-soar-writephoto/

storm-clouds-1

(For visually challenged writers, the image shows a sky full of dark, stormy clouds against which four large birds are silhouetted in flight.)

https://scvincent.com/2020/06/18/thursday-photo-prompt-soar-writephoto/