Alley

poetrybymich 💥💫💛  “After Rain Skies” is now available for pre – order as ebook copy via  Kobo.Com

Link in my bio or you can just click this:https://www.kobo.com/ph/en/ebook/after-rain-skies-second-edition

Kindle file and paperback copy will be available via Amazon.

Alley

i am alone in this dark alley
muted, my soul will be
i run for refuge, no hand to hold in a crowd so huge,
i can’t find my way
every door bolted
so tight, leaving no air to breathe
i am desperate and drenched in hate
why am i alone?
oh, life, why have you treated me so kind
yet beaten me so hard?

i can taste the void, and it blankets over me
so I write to find a cure
so someone might know i exist
but the words don’t work
that dark alley is still the only place to be
muted
why am i alone?
oh, life, why have you treated me so kind
yet beaten me so hard?
i have been crying in despair.
i have been weeping in agony
i wonder if someone will hear me
if you read this will, you find me?

For Reenas Exploration Challenge:

“Life is a mountain. Your goal is to find your path, not to reach the top.” Maxime Lagace

P.S  “After Rain Skies – Second Edition” – a portion of my royalty fee for this book will go to Perak Women for Women Society. An NGO that helps and supports victims of abuse and violence. Your purchase of the book will help a woman in need of shelter, suport and therapy.

I Will Love You Forever, Too (update)

poetrybymich 🥳💫💥 with a grateful heart i am so thrilled and pleased to share to you all that my 5th poetry book ” I Will Love You Forever, Too”  is still standing strong on top 1k of Amazon Best Sellers Rank, after 8 months of release. I AM SO OVERWHELMED with all the love and support you guys have for my poetry.

MAKING IT ON NUMBER SPOT AS kindle file Poetry Book in Amazon on its first day of release, simulataneously as NUMBER ONE Trending ebook in Kobo.Com is something EVERY AUTHOR/POET could only dream of. And to even make it to TOP 1k book copy release is UNBELIEVABLE. 💫💥

THANK YOU ALL SO MUCH 🙏💛

I wish to get the same support as well for my upcoming book “After Rain Skies – Second Edition”, a portion of my royalty fee for this book will go to Perak Women for Women Society. An NGO that helps and supports victims of abuse and violence. Your purchase of the book will help a woman in need of shelter, suport and therapy.

Silent War (After Rain Skies, Second Edition)

Silent War

No one doubts that you’re in pain when you’re walking around bleeding. You’re lucky, if someone believes you’re hurt, without you having to forcibly cut off an arm.

Naira was fine. She was perfect. There wasn’t a scratch on her. She was just about to throw herself off the top of a high-rise, that was all. And what was so special about that?

Everyone had problems. Anyone who thought their problems deserved attention just wasn’t trying hard enough to solve them. Right?

War was hard. Poverty was hard. Going out to break you’re back trying to make money was hard. But when war is at the doorstep, what do you expect to do?” Stand still and be quiet?

Marriage? You couldn’t possibly be complaining about being married. You wanted to be married, didn’t you? Learning your partner’s personality, his tendencies, his flaws. That was your responsibility, wasn’t it?

No one asks for international tensions. No one leaves his mother’s womb asking Allah to make him poor. But you, you made a choice, gave a vow. It was a commitment no one forced you into. You deal with it.

He never even hit you. Why are you unhappy? Others have it worse, Naira. Other women get new bruises every day. Do you see them leaving their husbands? That’s right.

You deal with the yelling. And the things he says. In front of your parents, in front of your brothers and sisters, in front of your co-workers. What was the worst they could do anyway? They were just words.

See, you’re fine. Naira, you’re perfect. Not a scratch on you. In all of ten years, not a bruise on you. And—

You’re tired. And that’s okay. You did everything you could.

It’s time to make yourself well.

All relationships lie somewhere in the middle of healthy and unhealthy at any given time. That’s why it’s important to identify the patterns and behaviors of our own relationships. Because relationships that visit the unhealthy area one too many instances tend to like to stay there.

For Reena’s

“After Rain Skies” (a compilation of true and inspiring stories of abuse and violence) will be out in all platforms worldwide on MARCH 8, 2022.

Little Bleep Too (A Monologue Flash Fiction)

Little Bleep Too (A Monologue Flash Fiction)

I never realized my story would end before it could even begin.

I silently wished to make it through. I actually have been praying so hard. And, I tried to be so good too. When I was told to behave, I did. When I was told to hang on, I did. When I was told hope, I did. I prayed so hard. I behaved so well. I held on tightly. I hoped (even when hope was not an option).

I was that “little bleep” screaming silently, wanting to see the world outside. I was a witness to how love survived all odds. Oh, geez I’ve witnessed the two most annoying human beings for wanting to get rid of each other, and yet not even one of them wanted to say goodbye first. How funny and stupid could that be? But well, at the end of the day, I hear them speak of love (so much love ) for each other. I hear them talk of their future and their plans. And, the most exciting part, I hear them discuss their plans for me.

I got so excited myself too.

I can’t wait. I really can’t wait.

Until today. Someone might have pulled the plug (or is there any plug at all?) I slowly and suddenly lost control of my breathing. It became so hard to breathe. I became so dark. It became so silent. Then I heard one heartbreaking confirmation “I’m sorry, we’ve lost it” Oh, how my heartaches. Damn! I wanted to be out so bad. But hey, my heart aches for my mom who was weeping alone, alone in the corner, with no one, nobody. I cried myself too. Then I wondered how would dad feel too?

I would really want to see the world outside. Live a beautiful life. Dream a dream and make a difference.

But…

There was silence. There was total darkness.
I see nothing. I hear nothing.

P.S

This photo prompted me to write Part 2 of Little Bleep read here https://michnavs.wordpress.com/2022/01/05/little-bleep-a-monologue-flash-fiction/.

I wonder how each unborn child would be when they grow up if only they were lucky enough to make it out in this world. They could be our future best world leaders, future best scientists, future best directors, future best poets.

For women who know they’re pregnant, about 10 to 15 in 100 pregnancies (10 to 15 percent) end in miscarriage. Most miscarriages happen in the first trimester before the 12th week of pregnancy. Miscarriage in the second trimester (between 13 and 19 weeks) happens in 1 to 5 in 100 (1 to 5 percent) pregnancies.

For Sadje
https://lifeafter50forwomen.com/2022/01/17/what-do-you-see-117-january-17-2022/

Little Bleep (A Monologue Flash Fiction)

Little Bleep (A Monologue Flash Fiction)

If i could scream I’d scream of little bleeps. Yes, little, tiny…that’s what I am. A small innocent “bleep” wanting to grow, wanting to survive and  wishing to see the world outside.

From where I am is pure darkness. But I love it here. It’s warm and cozy. It feels so good just to be hovering wiggling around, so comfortable. I love it here, really. Oh, except when I hear loud thunderous screaming, yelling, shouting. I wanted it to stop. For each yelling feels like I’m dying. It has been like this for a while and it’s getting louder each day. I must say, today was the worst. Each loud scream was synonymous to a painful sharp cry.

I wonder when will this ever end.

Will I even make it out alive?

Please mom hang on there, we’ll make it together. I promise I’ll be your most loving little bleep ever.

And oh, dad…yes dad I can’t wait to see you. I only hear stories of you from mom. Those sweet lovely stories she’d tell me everynight. In between her sobs. Oh, I could feel how much she misses you.

So dear Lord I hope the thunder stops. I hope it ends soon. I fear I won’t make it out.

Mom, dad….please hang on guys, little bleep will be out soon. We’ll be together I promise.

Rain

I am the gentle rain slowly dripping upon
your windowpane, begging for attention
begging to come in. I am the gentle rain
and if you let me be, I’ll shower you with
the abundance of love and admiration.

let me come, for you will be safe in my arms
let me come as lovely serenade on the roof
and steady drumming on your window
let me nourish you like the rain to the
sweet brown soil.

I am the gentle rain,
and I will be your sweetest
source of blissful solitude
and thoughtful happiness

for Eugis’s Prompt
https://amanpan.com/2021/06/24/eugis-weekly-prompt-happiness-june-24-2021/

In Memory

“In Memory”

in memory of the woman

who screams silently

the secrets of her soul

may she rest in peace

with her lost words

and intimate beauty

Coming home should be the safest thing we ever do in this life. Where we lay our heads at night should be where monsters will not reach us. And yet, so many find themselves making homes with monsters instead. This is a compilation of true and inspiring stories of abuse and violence in prose and poetry. Order your e-book copy now at https://www.kobo.com/ph/en/ebook/afte

In our Double – Seated Swing, Brother

our then glorious porch
was missing a torch
where we could have light at night
and played with so much delight

 

in our double-seated swing, brother

 

we poke jokes in our double-seated swing
where we too always cry out and sing
facing each other dreaming with a smile
then burst into laughter after a while
in our double-seated swing, brother

 

imagine a feeling or any feeling
how long will it last sitting?
I swear when it was so  low
it was  low until it was not low
in our double-seated swing, brother
when it was high ‘was so high
until it becomes low again then you sigh
there just aren’t enough words to say
for what it is like to sit with you and stay
in our double-seated swing, brother
we smiled and jested aimlessly dreaming of dreams passionately
upward we go a feeling stirring within, we held down we know a bond of love is sealed
in our double-seated swing, brother
we swore, “best friends forever”

 

Linking also to https://murisopsis.wordpress.com/2020/04/01/looking-for-a-challenge/  with this as NPM prompt  3 write a poem about a porch swing.

 

Day 3 of NaPoWriMo
Today’s prompt asks you to make use of our resources for the day. First, make a list of ten words. You can generate this list however you’d like – pull a book off the shelf and find ten words you like, name ten things you can see from where you’re sitting, etc. Now, for each word, use Rhymezone to identify two to four similar-sounding or rhyming words. For example, if my word is “salt,” my similar words might be “belt,” “silt,” “sailed,” and “sell-out.”

logo-napowrimo

After – Rain Skies: A Million Stars [Update]

Here is another excerpt from my book “After – Rain Skies: A Million Stars’

 

In Memory

 

In memory of the woman

Who screams silently

The secrets of her soul

May she rest in peace

With her lost words

And intimate beauty

 

Kayla would have been just a manufactured memory to her family, friends, and children, had she not taken the courage to walk away from her abusive husband.

Kayla’s husband portrayed her as the best thing on the planet to ever happen to him, that he loved and adored her, and they had the perfect family. And she was outspoken as a child, so people believed that if something was wrong, she would definitely speak up.

They were married for five years, and though he was very controlling from the moment they met, the abuse really started after she had their first baby, and her husband never left her alone with anyone, so she couldn’t speak about what was being done to her.

Kayla had no idea that it is possible to get help and even leave her abusive husband. She was a young bride when they got married. She was never allowed to find a job herself so that her husband provided everything for her.

She had no idea police would get involved and care, or that anybody else would care. That had been one of the main reasons she did not attempt leaving him. If she had known that she had the option, she would have left a long time ago.

She found out she could leave only after he tried to kill her.

Her mother, brother, and uncle went to the hospital and spoke with a hospital social worker, who told them the story her then husband was telling them about how she was burned. He told hospital staff that Kayla’s scarf had caught on fire while she was warming herself, as she is a Muslim.

But her family thought something wasn’t right.

What he actually did was pour turpentine on her and set her on fire.

It was that same fire that ignited the flame inside Kayla to leave her abusive husband for good. It wasn’t easy though, as her husband had long been prepared for the day she would finally have the courage to fight back. He had prepared his own supposed truthful and almost believable version of the story to cover up the abuse. But it didn’t stop her from getting help and finally seeking for a restraining order.

 

P.S.

I want to say “A MILLION THANK YOU” to all those who purchased the book and helped in our advocacy.

Special thanks to Mal Das  and to Mei Kuan of Ipoh Echo 

 

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More poems and stories of abuse and violence are available in my book “After – Rain Skies: A Million Stars”

Books are available for sale at

The PWW Centre
15 Market Street
30000 Ipoh
Tel : 05-2469715

https://www.facebook.com/PerakWomenforWomen/

https://www.facebook.com/1MillionStars/

Stars Fled from Your Eyes

 

Stars Fled from Your Eyes

 

stars fled from your eyes

and the shadow of death
cast upon your face
on this dark gloomy night
filled with goodbyes
and unending sighs
of a once-promising life

stars fled from your eyes
and you stop dreaming
of what could have been’s
and what if’s
a future you may never see
for it has become so bleak
and gloomy

stars fled from your eyes
and it may never come back
unless you take the courage
to speak up
seek for help
and maybe, just maybe
start anew

stars fled from your eyes, but you’re not done yet

 

Things that break on earth don’t reach the clouds above us. Burning villages don’t change the schedule of sunsets. And stars remain stars, no matter how much land we destroy.

But when the sky loses all of its lights and unleashes a thunderstorm, everything drowns.

Erin was a vibrant, happy, and joyful woman. To her many boyfriends, all of whom mistreated her verbally and physically, she was patient. To Sufi, she was a great human being and an even better friend.

To herself, Erin was unfair.

She grew up believing she only deserved the kind of love that did nothing but hurt her. And Sufi watched her pick partner after partner that mentally burned her out and repeatedly destroyed her heart.

Still, Erin’s aspirations, inspiration, imagination, wonder, dreams, pursuits, creative brilliance, her magic, remained bright as stars on a cloudless evening, always. Until they didn’t.

Abuse is not at all clear cut. But Sufi remembered with perfect clarity when her best friend lost the sparkle in her eyes.

First, the silence. Even though marrying the love of your life should be a nervous, excited, rambunctious affair.

Then, the realization of her colleagues that Erin was living with a man who was comfortable with sending his wife to work with bruises and a black eye.

And the dark understanding of the weight of Erin having a son, and nowhere to go that felt safe enough to risk her husband following them and breaking them worse than he would if they stayed put.

Sufi suffered watching her, but all everyone that genuinely loved Erin could do was love her until she began loving herself enough to see that she too was deserving of better treatment.

It took years, and all their support, and the kind of bravery you only learn while trying to fight through a thunderstorm, but Erin gained the self-respect she needed to leave the one that was drowning her light.

Coming home should be the safest thing we ever do in this life. Where we lay our heads at night should be where monsters will not reach us. And yet, so many find themselves making homes with monsters instead.

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P.S.

More poems and stories of abuse and violence are available in my book “After – Rain Skies: A Million Stars”

Books are available for sale at

The PWW Centre
15 Market Street
30000 Ipoh
Tel : 05-2469715

https://www.facebook.com/PerakWomenforWomen/

https://www.facebook.com/1MillionStars/