Stars Fled from Your Eyes

 

Stars Fled from Your Eyes

 

stars fled from your eyes

and the shadow of death
cast upon your face
on this dark gloomy night
filled with goodbyes
and unending sighs
of a once promising life

stars fled from your eyes
and you stop dreaming
of what could have been’s
and what if’s
a future you may never see
for it has become so bleak
and gloomy

stars fled from your eyes
and it may never come back
unless you take the courage
to speak up
seek for help
and maybe, just maybe
start anew

stars fled from your eyes, but you’re not done yet

 

Things that break on earth don’t reach the clouds above us. Burning villages don’t change the schedule of sunsets. And stars remain stars, no matter how much land we destroy.

But when the sky loses all of its lights and unleashes a thunderstorm, everything drowns.

Erin was a vibrant, happy, and joyful woman. To her many boyfriends, all of whom mistreated her verbally and physically, she was patient. To Sufi, she was a great human being, and an even better friend.

To herself, Erin was unfair.

She grew up believing she only deserved the kind of love that did nothing but hurt her. And Sufi watched her pick partner after partner that mentally burned her out, and repeatedly destroyed her heart.

Still, Erin’s aspirations, inspiration, imagination, wonder, dreams, pursuits, creative brilliance, her magic, remained bright as stars on a cloudless evening, always. Until they didn’t.

Abuse is not at all clear cut. But Sufi remembered with perfect clarity when her best friend lost the sparkle in her eyes.

First, the silence. Even though marrying the love of your life should be a nervous, excited, rambunctious affair.

Then, the realization of her colleagues that Erin was living with a man who was comfortable with sending his wife to work with bruises and a black eye.

And the dark understanding of the weight of Erin having a son, and nowhere to go that felt safe enough to risk her husband following them, and breaking them worse than he would if they stayed put.

Sufi suffered watching her, but all everyone that genuinely loved Erin could do was love her, until she began loving herself enough to see that she too was deserving of better treatment.

It took years, and all their support, and the kind of bravery you only learn while trying to fight through a thunderstorm, but Erin gained the self-respect she needed to leave the one that was drowning her light.

Coming home should be the safest thing we ever do in this life. Where we lay our heads at night should be where monsters will not reach us. And yet, so many find themselves making homes with monsters instead.

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P.S.

More poems and stories of abuse and violence are available in my book “After – Rain Skies: A Million Stars”

Books are available for sale at

The PWW Centre
15 Market Street
30000 Ipoh
Tel : 05-2469715

https://www.facebook.com/PerakWomenforWomen/

https://www.facebook.com/1MillionStars/

 

 

 Stars (A teaser)

 

Stars (A teaser)

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Things that break on earth don’t reach the clouds above us. Burning villages don’t change the schedule of sunsets. And stars remain stars, no matter how much land we destroy.

But when the sky loses all of its lights and unleashes a thunderstorm, everything drowns.

 

P.S.

A special project is coming out soon in support of PERAK WOMEN FOR WOMEN SOCIETY. And before it would even come out allow me to thank my very special WordPress Family, who helped me share this advocacy through reblogs and by sharing their creative brilliance.

May your stars shine upon endlessly ….forever….

Deepa of https://syncwithdeep.wordpress.com/

Lorraine of https://blindwilderness.wordpress.com/

Nanette of https://puzzlesofthesoul.com/

Punam of https://paeansunpluggedblog.wordpress.com/

Gina of https://alifelesslivedblog.wordpress.com/

Winnie of https://dailygrindofastayathomemom.wordpress.com/

Kate of https://aroused.blog/

Ivor of https://ivors20.wordpress.com/

Nikki of https://under1000skies.org/

Andrew of https://thelonelyauthorblog.com/

Chuck of https://thereluctantpoetweb.wordpress.com/

Irma of https://iidorun.wordpress.com/

Jonathan of https://bythemightymumford.wordpress.com/

Rosema of https://areadingwritr.wordpress.com/

Jade of https://jademwong.wordpress.com/

Jenna of https://thesunshineartist.com/

Tom of https://tom8pie.com/

Carolyn of https://doesitevenmatter3.wordpress.com/

GH of https://garfieldhug.wordpress.com/

And to Jules of http://julesgemstonepages.wordpress.com/
http://julesinflashyfiction.wordpress.com/
http://julesstorypageswhirl.wordpress.com/
http://julesgemsandstuff.blogspot.com

Thump-poem

Thump-poem

 

As i lay in bed last night
I dream of you and slept tight
And in my dream i got thump
I felt a huge gigantic hump
Over my shoulders
I shed some tears
I am pushed away
And off i stay

The banging
And thumping
Continued
I cried
It pains
It hurts
Heavy
Steady

Woke up in a dream
Oh how my tears run in stream
I painfully cry
I could die
That huge gigantic hump
I felt i got thump
Was my heart beating in agony
You left me in dismay.

 
Note:

This is in response to Diana’s photo prompt for February – a Pixabay image by Marianne Sopala.
You can check out her February challenge here
https://wordpress.com/read/feeds/47652712/posts/2157235242

February’s Speculative Fiction Prompt

I wanted to write something about the elephant and the cute little mice on its literal sense; but i realized it would be so much fun to give this adorable elephant a different life and a different persona (so to say).

A Great Tragedy (Dectina Refrain)

 

A Great Tragedy

My
soul died
My tears dried
words unspoken
Of yet one great love
My heart cries my soul bleeds
Of yet another true love
Never really was meant to be
A great tragedy, of greatest love
My soul died, my tears dried, words unspoken.

P.S.

This one goes out to the lovely couple seated next to me on a plane. I wrote this with the hope that the universe will come together and give them peace of heart and mind as they embark on their lives separately.

P.S.S

In response to 10-line Poem Challenge #19: Dectina Refrain.

Dectina Refrain

The Dectina Refrain looks exactly like an Etheree, but with one distinguishing characteristic, as we shall see. This form was created by Marion Friedenthal and named by Luke Prater.

Like the Etheree, it is a decastitch (10-line stanza) with an emphasis on the syllabic count of each line.Also like the Etheree, the syllabic count ascends: 1-2-3-4-5-6-7-8-9-10Like the Etheree, it is unrhymed.Line 10 is the distinguishing feature between the Etheree and the Dectina Refrain. In the latter form, line 10 is comprised of lines 1-4 all together and sometimes enclosed in quotation marks. Hence, the refrain.

Ikaw (Bangko Part 3)

P.S. It’s the last day of August. We culminate today the Buwan ng Wika (National Language Month) So, i am posting my finale of my short story. Enjoy guys.

P.S. (again) Thanks to a really good friend who was my inspiration in writing  this story.

Ikaw

Parang eksena sa pelikula kung paano tayo pinagtagpo ng tadhana after 7 years.  Nakita kita sa malayo. Sinadya kitang binangga sa pag aakalang hindi mo ako kilala. But to my surprise, tinawag mo ako sa aking pangalan. 

Ngumiti ka at ako’y natulala.

“Kumusta ka” ang iyong tanong. 

“You look good”, ang wala sa lugar kong sagot. Kasi naman you really look good.

Doon na nagsimula ang lahat.

After all, kilala mo din pala ako. Yours was a story of a man na natorpe lumapit. Cliche ika nga, but, well version mo yun.

Sabi mo nga ” you are close to being perfect, and i was….never mind”

Insecure…torpe… whatever your reason maybe, it doesn’t matter anymore.

Pasta ang inorder ko the first time we had lunch together. After which we had coffee. Masaya kang kasama. Magaan. Para bang we’ve known each other for a really long time. 

We were like long lost friend.  Walang adjustment na nangyari. 

Nasundan pa ng maraming beses ang lunch natin. Hindi ko na din mabilang kung ilang beses akong omorder ng pasta. Pasta sa Monday, sa Tuesday, hanggang Friday. Red, white and green (I meant pesto) na pasta. Favorite ko ang pasta. Di kasi ako marice. But believe me; yung unang beses na nag lunch tayo, yun na yata ang pinakamasarap na pastang natikman ko sa tanang buhay ko. 

Masarap kang kasama. It felt so good and so right. 

Bakit marami ang nahuhumaling sa kape kahit nakakapalpitate ito? 

Bakit marami ang may gusto ng pasta kahit fully loaded ng carbs ito?

Kahit masama, dahil masarap okay lang.

Bakit laging puno ang bangko? kahit mahaba ang pila okay lang kasi we need to save up.

Parang ikaw, I invested on you… and now, i am able to take it. My bonus pa.

Ikaw and pasta ng buhay ko. Di maiwasan, di matanggihan.

Ikaw ang bangko ng buhay ko. My deposit. My withdrawal.

‘Twas worth it after all.

What is it about you? Truth is, after three years, I really don’t know. I just love you and I believe that’s just how it is.

____________________________________________________________________________________________

You (Bank Part 3)

I finally met you, after seven years. And it was like a movie scene. You were standing from a distance. I went past through you intentionally, believing that you will never (or you never did) recognize me.  But i was so surprised to hear you call out my name.

You smiled at me. Twas the sweetest smile. 

I froze.

“How are you?”, you asked me.

“You look good”, I said. “Twas the lamest answer i have ever given (I should have said “fine”). But you really looked good though. 

It all started that way.

After all, you knew me. 

You didn’t know how to approach me, you explained.  A dork, maybe. 

You said ” you are close to being perfect, and i was….never mind”

I ordered pasta the first time we had lunch. Then we had coffee after. It felt like we knew each other for really long. Or twas like, we were long lost friends. We hit it off immediately. 

We would have lunch then almost everyday. And whenever we have lunch, i would order for a pasta. Pasta on Mondays, Tuesdays till Friday. I cannot anymore count how many pastas have i ordered during the first month we were together. 

I have tried so much and so many pastas; but i tell you, the first time we had lunch was probably the most delicious pasta i have ever had in my whole life. Weird, but that’s true. 

I love being with you. It felt so good and so right. 

Why do we love coffee even if it triggers palpitation? 

Why do we love pasta even if it’s fully loaded with carbs?

It doesn’t really matter whether it triggers palpitation or if it is fully loaded with carbs. It takes good. It’s delicious.

And you are just like that. You are my pasta; my coffee

Why do we deposit our money in the banks? Why do we take time lining up to reach the teller? It’s necessary. We need to save up. We need to invest.

And you are just like a bank. I saved up. I invested. Now, i am having the best time of my life enjoying my savings.

‘Twas worth it after all.

What is it about you? Truth is, after three years, I really don’t know. I just love you and I believe that’s just how it is.

 

Bangko (Part 2)

Note: English translation is provided below

     Matindi nga namang magbiro ang tadhana. Matyaga akong nag antay na one day mapapansin mo ako. I could have flirted; but i did not. I chose not to. 

Sabi ko kasi mukhang matino ka namang tao, so flirting won’t work.  Besides, sanay akong ako ang hinahabol, ako ang sinusuyo. Pambihira! Kung kelan na ako nagkagusto minalas pa… ayaw pa yata sa akin.

Kinakarma ba ako? Alam kong wagas akong mang alaska at mang asar sa mga nanliligaw sa akin; pero di ko naman siguro deserving na mag antay na lng forever sayo. 

Pag nag iisa ako alam mo bang madalas kung tignan ang sarili ko sa salamin? Sabi ko nga, anong kulang? You must be special.

Sana bangko ka na din sa totoong buhay. Pag may deposit; may interest. Ikaw….deposit lang ako ng deposit wala man lang interest.

Ang bangko, in case of emergency, madaling mag withdraw ng naideposit mo, solve na ang worry mo. Alam mo bang maraming beses akong namoroblema? Kailangan ko sanang mag withraw ng konting pagmamahal eh. …kaso di pwede. Hindi mo naman alam na nag invest ako eh. 

Madalas nga pag nagkakasakit ako at naoospital, sa maniwala ka at sa hindi, never was there a time in the hospital that i did not wish that the next time the door opens it would be you. Gusto ko talagang mag withraw especially during those times. A little amount of embrace may make me feel better.  A little amount of care would make me well.  Pero hanggang doon na lang talaga. Kasi nga naman hindi ka bangko. Di ka pwedeng mawithraw or better yet mautang or mahiram.  A little loan may help but the stake is just too much. Andami siguradong requirements for credit investigation. 

Sana one day i’ll find you again.

Sana malaman ko what is it about you that makes me like you so much. Kahit ayaw mo sa akin.

Sana one day kahit pangalan mo man lang malaman ko, and from then we will start.

________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Bank ( Part 2)

It’s funny  how some weird fate could meddle into our lives. You could only imagine how I waited so long for you to notice me. I could have flirted; but i did not. I chose not to. After all, i thought you were really nice and descent, so flirting won’t work. And besides come to think of it…I am the one being chased about by most men. Oh, come on…why can’t i just have you?

Is this what they call karma? I know i haven’t been really nice to those who tried and attempted to win me; but I don’t think i deserve to be punished like this… No way, this is too much of a punishment. And let’s face it, I don’t think i deserve to wait for you this long.

Whenever i am alone, i would examine myself in the mirror. What is wrong with me? I can’t seem to find the answer. You must be very special then.

I wish you are a bank too. I will deposit, then i get to have an interest.  But with you, i only get to deposit no amount of interest is being given back. 

In case of emergencies, there would be a readily available ATM machines to withdraw money… and presto! My problem would be solved. 

Do you even realized that i have been in trouble so many times? And for most of those times i badly needed to withdraw, even a little amount of love; but i just can’t. You practically didn’t even know i invested love on  you.

There are times when i get so sick i needed to be hospitalized. And believe me, never was there a time in the hospital that i didn’t wish that the next time the door opens, it would be you. I really needed to withdraw then. A little amount of embrace may help me feel better. A little amount of care may make me well.  But i guess, i just can’t. I can’t even withdraw you; much more borrow or loan you. A little loan may actually help but i am sure the stake would be just too much. I am sure there would be lots of requirements for credit investigation. 

I hope one day i’ll find you again.

I wish i would know what is it about you that makes me like you so much. Even though obviously you never liked me.

And maybe one day, i’ll begin to start with your name.