Little Bleep Too (A Monologue Flash Fiction)

Little Bleep Too (A Monologue Flash Fiction)

I never realized my story would end before it could even begin.

I silently wished to make it through. I actually have been praying so hard. And, I tried to be so good too. When I was told to behave, I did. When I was told to hang on, I did. When I was told hope, I did. I prayed so hard. I behaved so well. I held on tightly. I hoped (even when hope was not an option).

I was that “little bleep” screaming silently, wanting to see the world outside. I was a witness to how love survived all odds. Oh, geez I’ve witnessed the two most annoying human beings for wanting to get rid of each other, and yet not even one of them wanted to say goodbye first. How funny and stupid could that be? But well, at the end of the day, I hear them speak of love (so much love ) for each other. I hear them talk of their future and their plans. And, the most exciting part, I hear them discuss their plans for me.

I got so excited myself too.

I can’t wait. I really can’t wait.

Until today. Someone might have pulled the plug (or is there any plug at all?) I slowly and suddenly lost control of my breathing. It became so hard to breathe. I became so dark. It became so silent. Then I heard one heartbreaking confirmation “I’m sorry, we’ve lost it” Oh, how my heartaches. Damn! I wanted to be out so bad. But hey, my heart aches for my mom who was weeping alone, alone in the corner, with no one, nobody. I cried myself too. Then I wondered how would dad feel too?

I would really want to see the world outside. Live a beautiful life. Dream a dream and make a difference.

But…

There was silence. There was total darkness.
I see nothing. I hear nothing.

P.S

This photo prompted me to write Part 2 of Little Bleep read here https://michnavs.wordpress.com/2022/01/05/little-bleep-a-monologue-flash-fiction/.

I wonder how each unborn child would be when they grow up if only they were lucky enough to make it out in this world. They could be our future best world leaders, future best scientists, future best directors, future best poets.

For women who know they’re pregnant, about 10 to 15 in 100 pregnancies (10 to 15 percent) end in miscarriage. Most miscarriages happen in the first trimester before the 12th week of pregnancy. Miscarriage in the second trimester (between 13 and 19 weeks) happens in 1 to 5 in 100 (1 to 5 percent) pregnancies.

For Sadje
https://lifeafter50forwomen.com/2022/01/17/what-do-you-see-117-january-17-2022/

Little Bleep (A Monologue Flash Fiction)

Little Bleep (A Monologue Flash Fiction)

If i could scream I’d scream of little bleeps. Yes, little, tiny…that’s what I am. A small innocent “bleep” wanting to grow, wanting to survive and  wishing to see the world outside.

From where I am is pure darkness. But I love it here. It’s warm and cozy. It feels so good just to be hovering wiggling around, so comfortable. I love it here, really. Oh, except when I hear loud thunderous screaming, yelling, shouting. I wanted it to stop. For each yelling feels like I’m dying. It has been like this for a while and it’s getting louder each day. I must say, today was the worst. Each loud scream was synonymous to a painful sharp cry.

I wonder when will this ever end.

Will I even make it out alive?

Please mom hang on there, we’ll make it together. I promise I’ll be your most loving little bleep ever.

And oh, dad…yes dad I can’t wait to see you. I only hear stories of you from mom. Those sweet lovely stories she’d tell me everynight. In between her sobs. Oh, I could feel how much she misses you.

So dear Lord I hope the thunder stops. I hope it ends soon. I fear I won’t make it out.

Mom, dad….please hang on guys, little bleep will be out soon. We’ll be together I promise.

Rain

I am the gentle rain slowly dripping upon
your windowpane, begging for attention
begging to come in. I am the gentle rain
and if you let me be, I’ll shower you with
the abundance of love and admiration.

let me come, for you will be safe in my arms
let me come as lovely serenade on the roof
and steady drumming on your window
let me nourish you like the rain to the
sweet brown soil.

I am the gentle rain,
and I will be your sweetest
source of blissful solitude
and thoughtful happiness

for Eugis’s Prompt
https://amanpan.com/2021/06/24/eugis-weekly-prompt-happiness-june-24-2021/

• 

In Memory

“In Memory”

in memory of the woman

who screams silently

the secrets of her soul

may she rest in peace

with her lost words

and intimate beauty

Coming home should be the safest thing we ever do in this life. Where we lay our heads at night should be where monsters will not reach us. And yet, so many find themselves making homes with monsters instead. This is a compilation of true and inspiring stories of abuse and violence in prose and poetry. Order your e-book copy now at https://www.kobo.com/ph/en/ebook/afte

In our Double – Seated Swing, Brother

our then glorious porch
was missing a torch
where we could have light at night
and played with so much delight

 

in our double-seated swing, brother

 

we poke jokes in our double-seated swing
where we too always cry out and sing
facing each other dreaming with a smile
then burst into laughter after a while
in our double-seated swing, brother

 

imagine a feeling or any feeling
how long will it last sitting?
I swear when it was so  low
it was  low until it was not low
in our double-seated swing, brother
when it was high ‘was so high
until it becomes low again then you sigh
there just aren’t enough words to say
for what it is like to sit with you and stay
in our double-seated swing, brother
we smiled and jested aimlessly dreaming of dreams passionately
upward we go a feeling stirring within, we held down we know a bond of love is sealed
in our double-seated swing, brother
we swore, “best friends forever”

 

Linking also to https://murisopsis.wordpress.com/2020/04/01/looking-for-a-challenge/  with this as NPM prompt  3 write a poem about a porch swing.

 

Day 3 of NaPoWriMo
Today’s prompt asks you to make use of our resources for the day. First, make a list of ten words. You can generate this list however you’d like – pull a book off the shelf and find ten words you like, name ten things you can see from where you’re sitting, etc. Now, for each word, use Rhymezone to identify two to four similar-sounding or rhyming words. For example, if my word is “salt,” my similar words might be “belt,” “silt,” “sailed,” and “sell-out.”

After – Rain Skies: A Million Stars [Update]

Here is another excerpt from my book “After – Rain Skies: A Million Stars’

 

In Memory

 

In memory of the woman

Who screams silently

The secrets of her soul

May she rest in peace

With her lost words

And intimate beauty

 

Kayla would have been just a manufactured memory to her family, friends, and children, had she not taken the courage to walk away from her abusive husband.

Kayla’s husband portrayed her as the best thing on the planet to ever happen to him, that he loved and adored her, and they had the perfect family. And she was outspoken as a child, so people believed that if something was wrong, she would definitely speak up.

They were married for five years, and though he was very controlling from the moment they met, the abuse really started after she had their first baby, and her husband never left her alone with anyone, so she couldn’t speak about what was being done to her.

Kayla had no idea that it is possible to get help and even leave her abusive husband. She was a young bride when they got married. She was never allowed to find a job herself so that her husband provided everything for her.

She had no idea police would get involved and care, or that anybody else would care. That had been one of the main reasons she did not attempt leaving him. If she had known that she had the option, she would have left a long time ago.

She found out she could leave only after he tried to kill her.

Her mother, brother, and uncle went to the hospital and spoke with a hospital social worker, who told them the story her then husband was telling them about how she was burned. He told hospital staff that Kayla’s scarf had caught on fire while she was warming herself, as she is a Muslim.

But her family thought something wasn’t right.

What he actually did was pour turpentine on her and set her on fire.

It was that same fire that ignited the flame inside Kayla to leave her abusive husband for good. It wasn’t easy though, as her husband had long been prepared for the day she would finally have the courage to fight back. He had prepared his own supposed truthful and almost believable version of the story to cover up the abuse. But it didn’t stop her from getting help and finally seeking for a restraining order.

 

P.S.

I want to say “A MILLION THANK YOU” to all those who purchased the book and helped in our advocacy.

Special thanks to Mal Das  and to Mei Kuan of Ipoh Echo 

 

More poems and stories of abuse and violence are available in my book “After – Rain Skies: A Million Stars”

Books are available for sale at

The PWW Centre
15 Market Street
30000 Ipoh
Tel : 05-2469715

https://www.facebook.com/PerakWomenforWomen/

https://www.facebook.com/1MillionStars/

Stars Fled from Your Eyes

 

Stars Fled from Your Eyes

 

stars fled from your eyes

and the shadow of death
cast upon your face
on this dark gloomy night
filled with goodbyes
and unending sighs
of a once-promising life

stars fled from your eyes
and you stop dreaming
of what could have been’s
and what if’s
a future you may never see
for it has become so bleak
and gloomy

stars fled from your eyes
and it may never come back
unless you take the courage
to speak up
seek for help
and maybe, just maybe
start anew

stars fled from your eyes, but you’re not done yet

 

Things that break on earth don’t reach the clouds above us. Burning villages don’t change the schedule of sunsets. And stars remain stars, no matter how much land we destroy.

But when the sky loses all of its lights and unleashes a thunderstorm, everything drowns.

Erin was a vibrant, happy, and joyful woman. To her many boyfriends, all of whom mistreated her verbally and physically, she was patient. To Sufi, she was a great human being and an even better friend.

To herself, Erin was unfair.

She grew up believing she only deserved the kind of love that did nothing but hurt her. And Sufi watched her pick partner after partner that mentally burned her out and repeatedly destroyed her heart.

Still, Erin’s aspirations, inspiration, imagination, wonder, dreams, pursuits, creative brilliance, her magic, remained bright as stars on a cloudless evening, always. Until they didn’t.

Abuse is not at all clear cut. But Sufi remembered with perfect clarity when her best friend lost the sparkle in her eyes.

First, the silence. Even though marrying the love of your life should be a nervous, excited, rambunctious affair.

Then, the realization of her colleagues that Erin was living with a man who was comfortable with sending his wife to work with bruises and a black eye.

And the dark understanding of the weight of Erin having a son, and nowhere to go that felt safe enough to risk her husband following them and breaking them worse than he would if they stayed put.

Sufi suffered watching her, but all everyone that genuinely loved Erin could do was love her until she began loving herself enough to see that she too was deserving of better treatment.

It took years, and all their support, and the kind of bravery you only learn while trying to fight through a thunderstorm, but Erin gained the self-respect she needed to leave the one that was drowning her light.

Coming home should be the safest thing we ever do in this life. Where we lay our heads at night should be where monsters will not reach us. And yet, so many find themselves making homes with monsters instead.

P.S.

More poems and stories of abuse and violence are available in my book “After – Rain Skies: A Million Stars”

Books are available for sale at

The PWW Centre
15 Market Street
30000 Ipoh
Tel : 05-2469715

https://www.facebook.com/PerakWomenforWomen/

https://www.facebook.com/1MillionStars/

 

 

Stars (A teaser)

 

Stars (A teaser)

Things that break on earth don’t reach the clouds above us. Burning villages don’t change the schedule of sunsets. And stars remain stars, no matter how much land we destroy.

But when the sky loses all of its lights and unleashes a thunderstorm, everything drowns.

 

P.S.

A special project is coming out soon in support of PERAK WOMEN FOR WOMEN SOCIETY. And before it would even come out allow me to thank my very special WordPress Family, who helped me share this advocacy through reblogs and by sharing their creative brilliance.

May your stars shine upon endlessly ….forever….

Deepa of https://syncwithdeep.wordpress.com/

Lorraine of https://blindwilderness.wordpress.com/

Nanette of https://puzzlesofthesoul.com/

Punam of https://paeansunpluggedblog.wordpress.com/

Gina of https://alifelesslivedblog.wordpress.com/

Winnie of https://dailygrindofastayathomemom.wordpress.com/

Kate of https://aroused.blog/

Ivor of https://ivors20.wordpress.com/

Nikki of https://under1000skies.org/

Andrew of https://thelonelyauthorblog.com/

Chuck of https://thereluctantpoetweb.wordpress.com/

Irma of https://iidorun.wordpress.com/

Jonathan of https://bythemightymumford.wordpress.com/

Rosema of https://areadingwritr.wordpress.com/

Jade of https://jademwong.wordpress.com/

Jenna of https://thesunshineartist.com/

Tom of https://tom8pie.com/

Carolyn of https://doesitevenmatter3.wordpress.com/

GH of https://garfieldhug.wordpress.com/

And to Jules of http://julesgemstonepages.wordpress.com/
http://julesinflashyfiction.wordpress.com/
http://julesstorypageswhirl.wordpress.com/
http://julesgemsandstuff.blogspot.com

Thump-poem

Thump-poem

 

As I lay in bed last night
I dream of you and sleep tight
And in my dream, I got a thump
I felt a huge gigantic hump
Over my shoulders
I shed some tears
I am pushed away
And off I stay

The banging
And thumping
Continued
I cried
It pains
It hurts
Heavy
Steady

Woke up in a dream
Oh how my tears run in a stream
I painfully cry
I could die
That huge gigantic hump
I felt I got a thump
Was my heart beating in agony
You left me in dismay.

 
Note:

This is in response to Diana’s photo prompt for February – a Pixabay image by Marianne Sopala.
You can check out her February challenge here
https://wordpress.com/read/feeds/47652712/posts/2157235242

February’s Speculative Fiction Prompt

I wanted to write something about the elephant and the cute little mice in its literal sense, but I realized it would be so much fun to give this adorable elephant a different life and a different persona (so to say).

A Great Tragedy (Dectina Refrain)

 

A Great Tragedy

My
soul died
My tears dried
words unspoken
Of yet one great love
My heart cries my soul bleeds
Of yet another true love
Never really was meant to be
A great tragedy, of greatest love
My soul died, my tears dried, words unspoken.

P.S.

This one goes out to the lovely couple seated next to me on a plane. I wrote this with the hope that the universe will come together and give them peace of heart and mind as they embark on their lives separately.

P.S.S

In response to 10-line Poem Challenge #19: Dectina Refrain.

Dectina Refrain

The Dectina Refrain looks exactly like an Etheree, but with one distinguishing characteristic, as we shall see. This form was created by Marion Friedenthal and named by Luke Prater.

Like the Etheree, it is a decastitch (10-line stanza) with an emphasis on the syllabic count of each line. Also, like the Etheree, the syllabic count ascends: 1-2-3-4-5-6-7-8-9-10Like the Etheree, it is unrhymed. Line 10 is the distinguishing feature between the Etheree and the Dectina Refrain. In the latter form, line 10 is comprised of lines 1-4 altogether and sometimes enclosed in quotation marks. Hence, the refrain.