The Love Day

172…two creatures bound to stay together …..for better or worse i suppose

I was able to recover something from my old (and i mean old, dated 1992) files. A poem about love i once wrote. This is how it goes…

When your in love….mentally you go nuts

you think that the one you love is

the fairest creature in this universe,

the only person blessed on earth;

you will say that there are millions

of other fishes in the seas,

but all these millions are worm – infested

and only your fish is worm – free,

and yet for all you know he is not

even a fish, he is a worm.

You see him anywhere you go,

in any garden where flower blooms

even in a tree who’s branches reach

majestically for the stars

and you hear him in every sound,

in the ringing of the telephone,

in the sad joyous refrain of a love song,

even in the silence of the church where

everybody’s head is bowed for meditation.

When you’re in love…emotionally,

this is worst.

for you are empty without him,

and complete with him.

your life finds meaning in his, and

therefore, his life is the only meaningful one.

with him beside you, the rose is redder

the birds chirpier, the grass greener,

the politicians funny and God is

a very nice bearded old man.

And physically…what love can perform!

for some inexplicable reasons, his hands are

completely different from all the hands in the world.

they are the one electrically charged.

heaven is in the circle of his hands

and for all you know, it is insanity.

for what else is love but a form of insanity?

look at the other catastrophes that happen

to when you’re in love you become

unreasonably and insanely jealous.

When you are with him, one hour is just a seasoned

but when he is away, one hour is almost a year.

he might not be good looking but

you think he is.

You do not eat, but you are not hungry

you do not sleep but you feel good.

You have no money in the bank

but you strut as if you own the world

and worst of all, you are convinced

that you can lived on love alone.

P.S.

Wow…how wonderful….yes wonderful only if i am 16 years old ….but i am not anymore…..and judging on my experiences on love itself..tsk..tsk.tsk…i regret having written it… regret because it only showed how emotionally immature a 16 year old could be no matter how smart she is….

The point is …February is suppose to be said the month of love…a moment to celebrate love…but i think we should also take a look at the reality of love itself…this is also the moment to celebrate love in its real sense:

love shouldn’t make you nuts;

it makes you thinks clearer.

love shouldn’t make you emotionally crazy;

it gives you emotional stability and security.

love definitely is not blind;

it makes you see things correctly.

Happy Valentine Everybody….May you all celebrate love …love in its truest sense…

Pope Francis’ Top Ten Things To Do in 2014

It has been a while..yah i know…it was a crazy December…I’ve been very (i mean it…) busy…I actually got a lot of things to share but first things first…

So its new year..(i know it’s kinda late to discuss this…) and i am sure we all have the so called New Year’s resolution which we obviously always failed to accomplish. But guess what….last January 18, I attended the 3rd parents’ assembly in my daughters school. I was deeply and honestly moved by what the school head shared to us. Yes it’s in the title… “Pope Francis’ Top Ten Things To Do in 2014”..and i wanna share it with you with a little of myself too..

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a  morning view of Turi Beach in Batam Indonesia

1. Don’t gossip

Merriam – Webster  defines it as a person who habitually reveals personal or sensational facts about others. Well you see..if we only focus on our own problems, our own concerns instead of worrying about others concerns, then, maybe, just maybe the world would be a better place. After all, small fights… little arguments..petty quarrels…these are by products of gossiping…spreading intimate and sensational facts about others, whether these facts are true…still it is none of our business to talk about it…Better yet…say…if you have nothing good to say..shut up…

people come, people go

we laugh, we smile, in all we do

we share, we care, all is fair

in silence though tempted, we stare

about others and their nightmare

we become the dreaded gossiper….

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para – sailing activity in Turi Beach

2. Finish your meal

It may sound ridiculous, but true…how many times have we left a table with an unfinished meal? How many times have we skipped a meal because we are on a diet? How many times have we not touched our food because we don’t like it? How many times have we ordered a food and didn’t finish it? If we could only be kind to every single food that we have then maybe, just maybe, we would be able to help others who are hungry.

sumptuous meals served all over

food at its best like no other

sadly, we scorn, we skipped

it does not suit our palate

others are hungry, craving for more

so don’t be a picky, don’t be a spoiler

3. make time for others

well time is gold..time is essential …and so on and so forth…we don’t have time…we are busy…and there goes our long list of reasons ..

But really, we have to make sure we have time for other people. we have time for our love ones. When I resigned from my work few years back, I realized that in order for us to spend quality time with the people we love ( and well, even those we might not love at all) we have to give up important personal things. My family used to complain about me not having enough time for them because i was working. Working then, wasn’t really something that we needed as a family because we may not be filthy rich but we’re living a generously beautiful life…so working then was just a personal gratification so to say…it  took me sometime to even realize that….and now that i have plenty of time for my family, i am also able to share the remaining time i have for others…. i started caring… i started sharing…i never had the chance to attend at any of my children’s parents’ meetings back then ( sometimes i do, but most of the time i don’t…i was busy)..now…i am able to share my time to the same community and the same people who are my partners in nurturing my children…i found it wonderful… a blessing actually…so it isn’t too late yet…look around maybe your neighbor needs you…maybe your child’s school is in need of your service…maybe someone needs your presence…it can’t be so hard

if i would have one magical wish

i’d travel back in time and relish

visit every place once more

enjoy the details on its wonder

heed more to what others say

listen to every word utter and stay

love more and nurture

embrace each moment and treasure

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the annual family Christmas party for the less fortunate children

this is an annual event which has been going on for so long and has been our way of not only sharing what we have but at the same time sharing a moment with them..meeting them…playing with them…singing with them…

       4. Meet the poor in the flesh

we may have been generously donating to every charitable foundations there is…we may have been responding to every call for help we hear…we may have been praying for all the victims of calamities and misfortunes….but, have we meet any of them? have we shared more than the usual money that we can share? do we know any of them?…maybe its time we go and see them in person…we can start with the old lady in our neighborhood..the one we usually share our extra dish with…

money when shared is called donation

talents when shared is called expression

skills when shared is called contribution

presence when shared is called devotion

p.s. in case you missed it..devotion is the fact or state of being ardently dedicated and loyal….

6. stop judging others

Well now, there goes… i am sure something that most of us are guilty of….yes, we all have the bad habit of judging others even for the good that they do…we just love to share a piece of our mind (a gentle way of judging) in anything about anybody…

What about we start by disciplining ourselves not to say, comment, suggest, on anything about anybody we deemed unfit for something…

So hard…right? yah i know..it is..

do not judge people by their conviction

nor by their opinion

judge them not by their presence

or by their appearance

hold back and say

the nicest you know just try

7. befriend those who disagree

We only love those who love us…we only care for those who care for us…we are only friends to those who constantly agree with us…what about befriending those who usually gives us “high blood pressure”? …maybe you will see their point..or maybe they will see your point too…and maybe somewhere along the way you both will meet half way….

friendship isn’t about who care and never left

it’s about who left and but returned and recollect

friendship isn’t about who understands and believes

it’s about who disagree but have faith and trusts

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photo taken by my daughter during their elementary retreat

7. make commitments, such as marriage

We fear the idea of getting ourselves into any commitments, tasks, or obligations….we are afraid that we may perform poorly if given the task…we are scared to act upon our obligations…we doubt our capacity to fully commit and dedicate…

Maybe, it’s about time we stood firmly on the ground and commit on anything.. you don’t have to rush up and get married…if you’re single and living away from your parents then maybe you can commit to visit them every weekend…if you are a student, then maybe you can commit and become a student leader…if you are an employee, then maybe you can start up to commit and be the best employee…if you are a teacher then maybe you can start and commit to submit your requirements on time or as scheduled…there are other forms of commitments…it doesn’t really have to be as complicated and as life changing as marriage..commitments may come in small and big packages..open it and embrace fully…

commitment is fidelity,

it is devotion filled with loyalty

commitment is steadfastness

a dedication in faithfulness

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a photo shoot of last December’s Musicale “The Guest” the actress showing off a promise sign…a promise to commit and the be best friend forever

9. Make it a habit to ask the Lord

I have been very open about my spirituality…i told you i am not the usual religious type of middle age woman.. however, thanks to my children who’s spirituality is far better than mine…and if there is one thing i learned from them..that is simply ….ask the Lord for even the simplest thing you do…they say, sometimes things don’t happen the way we want it because, we failed to seek the Lord’s opinion on the matter…things go exactly well if we do it with God’s permission…

you ask and you gain information

you inquire and you get confirmation

you solicit and you obtain what you desire

you request and you receive with great pleasure

you ask the Lord and He will never categorize your request

you will receive for He know what you need, its a must.

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Botanical Garden, Singapore..Happiness is everywhere….

10. Be happy

How many times have we been feeling so down and lonely over something that actually don’t deserve our attention? How many times have we felt so bad because we don’t get the things we wanted? Many times …i am sure…but, how many times have we been happy for making it through the day? How many times have we been joyful for seeing a child smile? ..How many times have we been glad for the beautiful flowers that bloom on our backyard?  Few times…i know…why not we start looking around our house and see for ourselves the many reasons to be happy? happiness is not always about good fortune, prosperity, contentment and joy…most of the time happiness lies on the other side of the world..the silver lining…so to say..

Happiness is a brush of wretched

a moment in daze and confused

happiness is a touch of solitude

a time of being alone in fortitude

happiness is a silence in despair

an occasion to be strong in prayer

p.s.

life is difficult i know…it is even harsh at times….people can be unreasonable too…they may even cause you a heart – attack..experiences can be nightmares…it may even sometimes be overwhelmingly sad and lonely….but you and i both know that if we could only make the best out of even the worst scenario in life, the worst person around, the worst experience we have then maybe, just maybe…life wouldn’t be as complicated as we know it now…easier said than done, i know..i too have my moments (many moments) when i felt like the universe is conspiring against me…i wanna give – up…but every time i felt that way…i manage to kick back…look around ..see myself in the mirror..and gotcha…i see a lot of reasons to go on…let me try one…when others are dying to go on a diet and exercise just to be fit…me? i diet and exercise but i don’t need to kill myself though..i am by genes gifted with a slender figure..when others are trying so hard to budget what they have…well me i am at times worrying what to buy and how to spend it…of course this is petty..and i do not only take pleasure in something that i don’t have and others don’t have…i take pleasure too at even the smallest details…like this one ..you just don’t know how happy i am at the moment writing…finally i got to write back after so long…this morning the sun finally came out…ahhhhh after weeks of rain ….and finally i thank God for that one moment i went to attend at my daughter’s parents’ assembly…i was able to listen and share with you this piece of wonderful information..

Happy Birthday

Wonderful Birthday Gifts…..(to the one you love..)

1. Maintain a Lovely Physical Appearance (in other words watch your weight…)

beauty maybe in the eye of the beholder;

but women, you need to remember,

men are visual, that’s a fact;

so dress neatly and be tact,

keep up a respectful appearance.

whether on purpose or by chance.

I read a book entitled, His Needs, Her Needs by Willard Harley; he tells about a couple who came in for counselliing. They had been married for a long time. The wife quit her job and decided to stay at home. She begun to gain weight . By the time they went for counseling, their marriage was in danger. The wife was hurt because whe wanted her husband to see and love her for who she is inside. The husband was upset because he had assumed his wife could maintain and keep up her physical appearance. Granted that their are men who don’ t  care whether their wives are overweight or not; good looking or not. They have other emotional needs that are far more important than the physical appearance. Sadly, though in the case of this couple, the wife did not marry  one of these men. In fact, she married a man for whom physical appearance matters to him….This is a story which reminds us to keep our promise of bringing out the very best  of us for our husband.. this is something women shouldn’t take for granted..its not impossible..i don’t mean here perfection in appearance.Take it from me….it’s not impossible. When i was in College, i eat a lot, but i don’t gain much weight. When i turned 20, i started exercising  ( I still eat a lot though).  At late 20’s (with four children on board) trouble came so i DIET and i EXERCISE; did it worked? YESSSS…now at 37..I say i DIET, i EXERCISE and add to that TORTURE myself (no kidding)…torture myself, because at this age exercising can be very difficult as well as dieting too. So i torture myself by exercising even if i don’t feel like doing it. I torture myself by dieting even if i wanna indulge.  I would have fruits and vegetables while looking at my husband and kids  enjoying the delicious pork ribs i baked. Did it work? YESSSS……of course i reward myself every now and then ….but i make sure i compensate it with the right amount of exercise. I must say i look far better now than ever before….

So for the upcoming birthday of your husband …surprise him and show off your lean, fit body..(start now..if you don’t know how, ask me).

2. Show Him Admiration (in other words, watch your tongue..)

admiration maybe for teens;

but women, remember this,

your assurance of admiration ,

is crucial and essential for men.

respect and admire him;

on his abiltity to perform…..

…to provide…

…to protect…

I once heard of a story (forgive me i can’t recall who told me this or where i read it) about a Mayor and his wife. One day they were walking along a construction site. The Mayor looked up and he eyed a man his wife had once dated. The Mayor said “Look! There’s your old boyfriend. Just think of it, if you had married him you would be the wife of a construction worker.” His wife didin’t even glance toward the workers. She confidently said, “No dear, if I had married him, he’d be the mayor”.

Well they say, behind every good man is a good wife….this is true in many ways. As wives, we have a great deal to do with whether or not our husband will be all they can be.. (men may react, never mind.. this is still true..)

So, gift your husband with respect and admiration he very much need. It is a wonderful act of love, How will you start? On his birthday, instead of the usual gift wrapped in a fancy paper, write him a letter expressing those feelings of love and respect and admiration you have for him. Try it, you’ll be surpised at how much he will (secrectly ) apprecaite it..

3. Assure Him of His Authority (in other words be submissive..)

honor your husband;

he is God – ordained head.

Women, rememeber, to submit;

a theory difficult to accept.

Without question, there is a certain order delegated to the family system. Our chrisitian faith taught us that men are head of the family, while women are to submit and honor and obey their  husband. We (women) are to voluntarily put ourselves under our husbands authority. The question however is, what about husbands who are unworthy of submission or far too incomeptent to run a family?

Considering the fact that we were all made to believe that we need to submit oursleves to our husbands, then by all means you have to be very careful and marry a man worthy of that commitment. A smart woman will take a good, long (very long in fact) look, at the man she’s interested with and will do some serious assessment: Does his demeanour displays humility, love, and mututally submissive attitude? Does he have the character of a good man capable of leading a family? Does he love God and hate sin?  (your serious assesment may come a long   way  ..) anyway….if the answer to any of these questions is NO, or MAYBE… then… quickly turn around..yes you read it right… turn around and run..run as fast as you could…never turn back …. go far..far enough…

Trust me, …it may sound difficult to submit… but the truth is, this is what will make your marriage work…

So on his birthday, send a greeting saying, from today onwards, yo are to submit to his will and abide by his authority..who knows, this might be just what he is waiting for from you….Try it.. I did.. it worked so well for all of us!!

P.S.

Did  i say today, my husband turns 39.  So i say Happy BIrthday to the man who made me gave up everything… (figuratively and literaly).. Happy birthday!!! on your birthday i want to thank you for:  inspiring me to stay beautiful (yes you did)..even if it means working out everyday and skipping on the chocolates and pastries i so much adore; allowing me to admiringly see the good in you…..( yes you did) even if  i maybe stubborn at times; and making me submit  myself to you..(yes you did) even if i was  depressed (for a while….sigh) when i have to give up my job..but that was so far the best decision i made…it worked so well for all of us…

Happy Birthday…..With all my admiration & gratitude!!!

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Waiting in Vain

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When you wake up in the middle of the night not knowing why could be traumatic for some; not for me…it gives me the opportunity to write down  my thoughts and even the thoughts of other people…

last Sunday i saw a man running towards the entrance of the church (where we went)..it was raining and obviously he was literally wet…what was so surprising was the fact that when he entered the church, i saw him looking all over.. as if trying to check on every person inside.. was he lost? …looking for a companion?…did he go to the wrong church?…but i thought, he could not be lost because he seemed so sure of where to go when i saw him running…he could not be looking for a companion too because again, judging on the fact that he has to brave the rain, surely, he has companion  waiting inside…or he could have not even gone to the wrong church…well as obvious as it seems there is only one church in that area, the other one though is a little further….so why was he acting so weird?….

Braving through the rain

on a windy morning;

struggling in vain

only to see you gazing.

Running through the stairs

as i grasp for air;

wishing you’d be there

with a smile to spare.

Entering a crowded room

my body begun to shiver;

looking for your face i roam

you’re there no more, i wonder.

Gushing through a deep sigh

truth begun to unravel;

knowing you’re not there, i cry

deep inside i die, as i travel.

Frustrating, i cry in pain…

Longing,  i mourn in vain…

Wishing, i hope in disdain…

P.S.

you see, when i saw him whispering to someone, i realized he was indeed expecting somebody inside…unfortunately that somebody is not around….so here is a space for you whoever you are..with the hope that next Sunday you’ll find that somebody you were running after through the rain…

Good luck…you will need that ..and oh by the way…maybe next time, do yourself a favor by sincerely going to the church for the mass.. who knows, that somebody you’re waiting would suddenly appear beside you…..

Potential Abuser

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Born with a sweet tongue

gifted with sagacity;

pretending to be forthright

and sinewy

Man of eminence yet full

of lunacy.

Born full of wits

expert to defraud

have one’s name be mud;

man of distinction yet

full of furtive lies.

Born with everything…

…nothing but..

..a deceiver…

P.S.

As my eldest daughter went to college, people begun noticing her beauty (by this i mean physical appearance)..it is beginning to scare me that one day soon she will have suitors around…she will have men trying to win her heart over..men who whether i like it or not may only fool her…as i was processing my own fear, i realized that every mom should talk to their daughters, who, in return should open their hearts and trust their moms and talk about anything that might be of great concern in the future. Because as we all know (men may react)….their are really mean men around….

so i listed down some possible hints that maybe of help in identifying a potential abuser:

1. he isolates you from your friends or even family

2. he monopolizes your time, activities, and behavior

3. he is extremely jealous or possessive

4. he has an explosive temper (take note: BOYS WHO VENT THEIR ANGER BY PUNCHING ARE DANGEROUS; OR IF A BOY FEELS A SENSE OF RELIEF AFTER EXPLODING, better be careful)

5. he doesn’t take responsibility for his own actions (always blames others)

6. he is a control freak (need to explain more? i don’t think so)

7. he takes drugs and uses alcohols

8. he has history of abuse in his family (well… with all due respect..this is true…a battered son may end up battering his own partner someday..)

the best possible way to stay away from this kind of situation is for girls to CONDUCT THEMSELVES IN A DIGNIFIED MANNER ….after all… you get what you deserve…

Preventing Heart Attack

keeping a journal and talking about your emotional journey on a journal is probably one of the most effective way of getting through when things get tough…when you hit a bumpy road…when moments are far worst than the usual…when people are inconsiderate…..or even when no one else understands what your going through….the journal won’t complain; the journal won’t over analyze your emotions; the journal won’t even judge; the journal won’t tell you your wrong….the journal simply allows you to vent out everything there is that you wanted to pour out…this is something we don’t find from people around us; even from the very person you thought would lend you an ear to simply listen….because in reality, when we are hurt, when we are disappointed, when we are misjudged, when we are scorned, when we are lashed out…………..what we need is a listening ear who listens with his heart…but i guess this is a rare opportunity already….that’s why the situation always lead us to either find someone who will listen (actually you Imagewon’t find one….trust me, no one will simply listen..) or be brave enough and listen to your own woes and cries…and eventually write it down….it would prevent you from having a heart attack…

I scribble in pain;

thoughts i can’t explain.

on this midnight blue;

feelings i let go.

i scribble with love;

simple desire i have.

on this empty paper;

longing as i decipher.

i scribble with hope;

maybe i could cope.

with the pen i use;

wishing yet confuse.

i scribble as i fancy;

images i see.

with mind exploring;

avenue of loving.

P.S.

you see its never been that hard… so the next time your hurt, your disappointed…try not to talk about it you might even be more hurt and disappointed..write it down instead….deal with it on your own…..trust me it works better that way….

I Love You

This is not the season of love …but i just don’t know why…for some weird inexplicable reasons i am being compelled to write about …..well…LOVE…

It suddenly made me remember the day i realized i too, was in love…the first time i saw him…the first time we spoke…everything seems just like yesterday because i keep such precious memories constantly alive in my mind…

a strange thing inside;

creeping through outside.

inexplicably bizarre;

truly peculiar.

a yearning to cry;

wanting to try.

humbly keeping;

patiently crawling.

a sentiment so pure;

believing so sure.

beautifully affectionate;

tenderly passionate.

a moment so phenomenal;

amazing and sensational.

wonderfully screaming;

perfectly loving.

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P.s.

Love is as beautiful as a peacock when it opens up its tail…..(technically, only males are peacocks, females are peahens and together they are called  peafowl…in case you’re not aware..)