i don’t even know what brought you back. you were somebody i thought would never return. never in a million years. never in my lifetime.
over the years, amidst all the midnight sorrow and morning grief, i sure knew that i had prepared for this day. this very day. that for some reason you’d come back, i am ready to walk away and never give you a chance simply. the chance to say a word. the chance to make a fool of myself again.
if ever you’d come back, it would be a hi and hello and goodbye. ah, no, you don’t deserve my hi, not even my hello or worse, my goodbye.
yes, i am wholly prepared for this.
and why not? you hurt me. you broke me. more than you probably ever know. you broke me into pieces. and i was left bleeding alone. i was groping in the dark. i was lost for years and years.
i didn’t realize i’d be able to pick up the pieces again and move on, move forward. yes, i am more than okay. i am more than prepared. i know it would be just another piece of cake, dealing with your return and sending you back to where you belong. oh, no, kicking you back exactly to how you left me.
yes that was the plan. that is still the plan.
i’ve lost it. lost the plan. lost the script. lost the spiel. lost everything.
why oh why does your “hello” feel so damn good? just why?
why oh why does your “how are you” feel like a melody to my aching heart?
so here i am again, falling completely, hopelessly madly in love with you just as much i loved you when we were young and crazy and restless.
‘cos truth is, i was never okay when you left. or when i went. or when we parted. whatever happened that day, we gave each other our final look of goodbye, i was never okay until today.
there is light again. there is color again. there is music again. there is joy again. there is rhythm again. there is hope again.
and there is me, in love again.
for Eugi’s Weekly Challenge: