In Heaven

In Heaven

i never got the chance
to see you smile
but i got you a name
i never got to know
how you would become
but i know you’d be great
i never got to hear you speak
but i know you’d be perfect
in everything you’d wanna be.

i never got to embrace you hello
for i had to let you go
before you even know
the world outside
is waiting for you
but He has other plans
so i just hope one day
i get to see you smile
i get to call you
by the name i chose
i get to hear you speak
and give you
the most endearing
embrace.

one day soon
in heaven we will be.

if you are a regular to my blog you would know that apart from abuse and violence i am also creating awareness on mothers/women experiencing loss of a child during pregnancy or in most common term;  miscarriage. i’ve written poems about miscarriage and how women should have the much needed support during this time. we all know that miscarriage is something we don’t usually talk about and at the same time we also know that these mothers/women are hurting and grieving inside.

recently, i came across articles and stories of women experiencing ectopic pregnancies.

according to  https://www.mayoclinic.org  an ectopic pregnancy occurs when a fertilized egg implants and grows outside the main cavity of the uterus. an ectopic pregnancy most often occurs in a fallopian tube, which carries eggs from the ovaries to the uterus. this type of ectopic pregnancy is called a tubal pregnancy.

sadly though a baby almost never survives an ectopic pregnancy. there have been extremely rare and unusual cases in which a baby has survived, but the odds are 1 to 3 million. these few cases typically happen outside the fallopian tubes in the abdominal cavity where blood supply is rich(https://lifelinepregnancyhelp.org ). these cases unknown to us many is also very heartbreaking for mothers, knowing that there is a growing child is something to celebrate and yet, at some point you have to decide whether or not to take the risk and go on with the pregnancy and let nature takes its course or do what’s suppose to be medically appropriate for both the mother and the child.

the dilemma now for the mother is : will she wait until it dissolves naturally? what if it doesn’t will she take on the suggestion of the medical experts to take on what is medically appropriate yet heartbreaking?

For Sadje’s WDYS

Gone Too Soon/Poetry Reading

Gone Too Soon

it wasn’t planned, i know. but it doesn’t mean i didn’t want to

and that’s the thing, do we really need to want something to have it?

aren’t we suppose to love it and want it all at the same time when it’s there?

 already there.

and that’s again the thing. before you knew it’s there. it’s gone.

taken away. so suddenly. not a slight chance of survival was given.

gone. too soon.

and i didn’t know it could hurt this much.

until that last drop of hope is lost. last chance of opportunity is missed.

how soon is too soon? how fast is so fast? and how sudden is so sudden?

oh, God here i am trying to figure out, where have i gone wrong?

how did i not know? how did i not suspect? how did i not realize?

may i borrow Taylor Swift’s line and say

“come on baby come with me, we’re gonna fly away from here” to whom i will sing this now?

how am i gonna remember you anyway? how do you want me to call you my angel?

with tears in my eyes and blood oozing down my body, i write this.

to remember you. and be reminded of you.

that on this day, you came. that on this day too, you were taken away.

i wish i could have been spared a little more time with you.

 ‘cos i sure would love to hold you close to my heart.

and if by then chance you will be taken away, at least,

at least maybe i have a clear remembrance of you.

and maybe, just maybe it won’t hurt this much. it won’t hurt so bad.

with a heavy heart, i wonder. how soon is too soon?

how fast is so fast? and how sudden is so sudden? so this one’s a lullaby for you

that on this day, you came. that on this day too, you were taken away.

Unheard Lullaby

Happy Mother’s Day to all the wonderful moms 💛💥💫

today i’d love to honor all the mothers who lost their babies and are still silently grieving.

for women who know they’re pregnant, about 10 to 15 in 100 pregnancies (10 to 15 percent) end in miscarriage. Most miscarriages happen in the first trimester before the 12th week of pregnancy. Miscarriage in the second trimester (between 13 and 19 weeks) happens in 1 to 5 in 100 (1 to 5 percent) pregnancies.

miscarriage is a traumatic event which affects every woman differently, but can lead to grief, anxiety, depression, and even symptoms of Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD).

Unheard Lullaby

i wonder, where little babies go
after being taken away from you
to heaven, they say
to heaven, i pray

i wonder, will angels hold them close
wrap around their wings with love overdose
maybe they will, some say
yes they will, i pray

i wonder, will God sing them a lullaby
as dads prepared them an unheard lullaby
i’m sure God will, i say
i’m sure God will, i pray

our hearts are aching for you
our little baby, you just flew
we know you’re in a happy place
in God’s loving face

we will still sing you
the unheard lullaby
dad prepared for you