My Saga Continuous Part 3 (thanks for the stars)

you’re raging a war
of which
origin,
you can
barely tell
least the day
it begun
your battlefield
is a place called “home”
and your fiercest enemy
is a man named “dad”

 

The effects of domestic violence on children, result from witnessing domestic violence in a home where one of their parents are abusing the other parent, plays a tremendous role on the well-being and developmental growth of children witnessing the violence.

A child who witness domestic violence at home often believe that they are to blame, and that they live in a constant state of fear and are times more likely to be victims of child abuse.

Close observation and early intervention will play an important role in saving a child from further abuse.  A child witnessing abuse or  ( is being abused) may have dysfunctions or changes in their physical, behavioral, emotional, and social areas of life.

So, if you know one and or if you are one, know that you are not alone.

FIND YOUR WAY OUT AND SEEK HELP!!!

Posted in support of Perak Women for Women Society
The PWW Centre
15 Market Street
30000 Ipoh
Tel : 05-2469715

https://www.facebook.com/PerakWomenforWomen/

https://www.facebook.com/1MillionStars/

As i continue my saga on my campaign against violence, i would like to thank Jules of  dailyjewelsbyjules.wordpress.com for weaving stars and sending them in from US to Malaysia.

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“Stars mean different things to different people. For travellers, stars tell them where they are, where they are going. For others, they are just little lights in the sky. For scholars, they are the world of the unknown, yet to be discovered and understood. For my businessman, they are gold. But all stars stay silent. And you? No one else in the world will see the stars as you do… For you, and only for you, the stars will always be laughing.”’

—The Little Prince—-

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Thank you Jules for making someone happy with your stars. Thank you for being the kind of star we all need today.

For those who want to join please see the link below on how to weave the stars :
//www.youtube.com/watch?v=qSjyDqztzaQ

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My Saga Continuous Part 2

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The afternoon train ride, reminds me of the young boys and girls  who are victims of abuse and violence. Once again, my heart bleeds and my words came pouring down.

 

Mama, I Remembered

 

I was young and innocent
didn’t know what’s goin’ on
but i heard him call you a whore
for wearing nice dress on a party
I kept my silence
but, mama i remembered

I was playful and michievous
and always gets myself in trouble
but i heard him blame you for that
you were useless, he said
I kept my silence
but, mama i remembered

I came home from school one day
you were knocked out crying on the floor
and i heard him say that’s what you get
for being arrogant and trying to fight back
I kept my silence
but, mama i remembered

I never understood why
why you never run away let alone
fight back and speak up
but i heard him challenged you to leave
I kept my silence
but, mama i remembered

I witnessed you being beaten up to death
you tried to run away for the first time
it angered him even more
then i saw him with a gun
I kept my silence
but, mama i remembered

It was I, who pulled the trigger
and shoot him to death
bang!….
one loud gunshot, ended everything
mama, i remembered
It was I, not you

Don’t keep your silence mama
because, i remembered

 
My saga on creating awareness to end violence continuous as i explore stories of Abused  Children who killed their Abusive Fathers.

Children are the silent victims of abuse and violence.
In January 2016, kate of Calmkate posted ” Love Kills” (read more of her post in this link https://aroused.blog/2016/06/01/love-that-kills/), in this post she explores domestic violence that lead to killing and made a passionate plea to end it.

Two compelling stories  of abused children who killed their abusive fathers have caught my attention as i was writing this post. The story of Bresha from Ohio and that of the Khachaturyan sisters from Russia.
In the early morning of July 28, 2016, Jonathan Meadows was shot in the head while he was sleeping on the couch. Police arrested Bresha, then 14, and transported her to a juvenile detention center in Warren, Ohio.
According to Bresha’s mother Meadows, 41, was an abusive husband, for the better part of two decades, he beat and controlled her. Bresha and her two older siblings, Brianna and Jonathan Jr., bore witness to the violence.

One evening Mikhail Khachaturyan, a father and war veteran realized that his living room wasn’t tidy and clean enough, so he blamed his three daughters for this, and summoned them one by one and doused each with pepper spray.
According to court records such violence and abuse was not unusual in the Khachaturyan household.
Maria, Angelina and Krestina Khachaturyan decided they couldn’t take it anymore. They waited for their father fell asleep and attacked him with a kitchen knife and a hammer. He tried to fight back for a while but died within minutes.

Bresha, Maria, Angelina and Krestina are just four of the many  Abused Children who killed their Abusive fathers.

Please dont let this be your child’s story, and know that more than anyone else it is these little ones who will be compromised.  Give them the chance of a better life, provide them with a happy and healthy home environment and don’t make them lose their sense of awe and innocence. Help them develop their love and compassion for humanity. These will all happen if you start taking the stand and speak up.
If you are experiencing abuse and violence at home,  speak up and seek help.

If you are a victim and are afraid to speak up feel free to tell your story in the comment box below. I guarantee that  will privacy will be highly protected

LET’S TALK;  It may HELP you!

Posted in support of Perak Women for Women Society
The PWW Centre
15 Market Street
30000 Ipoh
Tel : 05-2469715

https://www.facebook.com/PerakWomenforWomen/

https://www.facebook.com/1MillionStars/

Source:
Melissa Jeltsen, HuffPost. Date Retrieved
July 17, 2019 https://www.google.com/amp/s/m.huffpost.com/us/entry/us_5a794b8be4b00f94fe945e10/amp

NATALIYA VASILYEVA, Associated Press. Date Retrieved July 17, 2019 https://www.google.com/amp/s/abcnews.go.com/amp/International/wireStory/outrage-russia-abused-teen-sisters-charged-murder-64144147

My Saga Continuous

My Saga on my awareness campaign against Violence continuous as i explore the possible reasons why abused women chose to stay in an abusive relationship.

 

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Over a cup of coffee, i relentlessly write with my heart bleeding remembering each and every victim of violence out there.

 

you are poised and elegant
they admire you for that
you speak of love and compassion
they adore you for that
underneath it all
is a soul crumbling and struggling

your smile is contagious
they like you for that
you are charming and inspiring
they emulate you for that
underneath it all
are million pieces of forgotten dreams and broken promises

you are everything
but a silent victim
of violence
masquerading
in a beautiful shadow of living

Written for calmkate’s Friday fun -Contadictions
Friday Fun – contradiction

The contradictions in the life of an abused woman.  Hiding the pains, the agonies and the traumas; in between smiles and hellos and coping up and not breaking down.

Some may have questioned the sanity of an abused woman who tried to stay in a relationship despite of the violence she is experiencing.

In 2014 NFL linebacker Ray Rice knocked his fiancée Janay Palmer unconscious in an elevator.  He was then accused of domestic violence and suspended for two games. After a few weeks, he was formally charged, but  to the surprise of everybody he and Palmer were married the next day.

There was a security video of the event that surfaced, and quickly went viral.
Janay Palmer was knocked down and dragged out of the elevator by Rice.

Plot twist, Janay Palmer, the beaten knocked and dragged fiance, spoke out in defense of her then husband. In a press conference she apologized and said: “I deeply regret the role I played that night”.
She posted on instagram  “Just know we will continue to grow & show the world what real love is,” and asked everybody to stop judging her husband.

This triggered the public’s view over abused women. The public  could not understand how Palmer could be standing by her man.

People began to question her sanity, innocence, and motives.

Why would she stay with him, let alone defend Rice who had knocked her unconscious? What was wrong with Janay Palmer that she would do this?

Why can’t an abused victim simply walk away?

According to Jason B. Whiting, PhD, LMFT is a Professor of Marriage and Family Therapy at Texas Tech University there are 8 reasons why an abused victim choose to stay.

1. Distorted Thoughts.

Being controlled and hurt is traumatizing, and this leads to confusion, doubts, and even self-blame. Perpetrators harass and accuse victims, which wears them down and causes despair and guilt.

2. Damaged Self-Worth.

Related was the damage to the self that is the result of degrading treatment. Many women felt beaten down and of no value.

3. Fear.

The threat of bodily and emotional harm is powerful, and abusers use this to control and keep women trapped.

4. Wanting to be a Savior.

Many described a desire to help, or love their partners with the hopes that they could change them.

5. Children.

These women also put their children first, sacrificing their own safety.
6. Family Expectations and Experiences.

Many posted descriptions of how past experiences with violence distorted their sense of self or of healthy relationships.

7. Financial Constraints.

Many referred to financial limitations, and these were often connected to caring for children.

8. Isolation.

A common tactic of manipulative partners is to separate their victim from family and friends.
Source: Institute for Family Studies. Retrieved from https://ifstudies.org/blog/eight-reasons-women-stay-in-abusive-relationships

Posted in support of Perak Women for Women Society
The PWW Centre
15 Market Street
30000 Ipoh
Tel : 05-2469715

https://www.facebook.com/PerakWomenforWomen/

https://www.facebook.com/1MillionStars/
The Reasons mentioned above are just few of the many possible reasons there could be for staying in an abusive relationship.

So, if you are a victim and are afraid to speak up feel free to provide me with your comment below. I guarantee you that I will protect your privacy.

LET’S TALK;  It may HELP you!!!

One Million Stars to End Violence

“When you wish upon a Star,
Makes no difference who you are…”
-Jiminy Cricket, Walt Disney’s “Pinocchio”

 

Stars Fled From Your Eyes

 

stars fled from your eyes
and the shadow of death
cast upon your face
on this dark gloomy night
filled with goodbyes
and unending sighs
of a once promising life

stars fled from your eyes
and you stop dreaming
of what could have been’s
and what if’s
a future you may never see
for it has become so bleak
and gloomy

stars fled from your eyes
and it may never come back
unless you take the courage
to speak up
seek for help
and maybe, just maybe
start anew

stars fled from your  eyes, no, not yet

 

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We have been fascinated by the stars- those shiny bright, little five-pointed dots in the sky that has been illuminating, even before humans exist.  It  presents us with beautiful symbolism over the years even when there was not enough scientific studies made to prove its origin. The Star is said to be one of the most beautiful and enchanting of all Symbols. For many it symbolizes aspiration, inspiration,
imagination, wonder, dreams, pursuits,
creative brilliance, divine intervention and even magic.

Imagine, what happens if one loses all of these?

Violence of any form massacres these little red dots illuminating the very core of every human being reflected upon in their eyes. And that is why they say, the eyes are the windows to our soul.
Look around you, see if the star is still shining brightly in the eyes of your beloved daughter, sister, friend, neighbor or even the one who sits across your table in a cafeteria.

Let’s  take a moment in our day to observe whose star is slowly dying, you might save a life, save a dream, save a hope, or even save magic.

Written for “One Million Stars to End Violence” project of PERAK WOMEN FOR WOMEN SOCIETY

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Dedicated to all women and children who are victims of Violence.

Perak Women for Women Society (PWW) is a registered, apolitical, non profitable and non-governmental organisation (NGO) founded in 2003 to enhance the status and lives of women in Perak irrespective of their race, religion and social background.
They recently launched its “One Million Stars to End Violence” project. It is a global weaving that has inspired individuals, groups and communities to weave stars to inspire light, hope and peace in the world. Ms Maryann Talia Pau, the founder of One Million Stars to End Violence Project has urged the global community to continue her good work in encouraging everyone to end violence.
Let us help PWWS bring back the star in the eyes of every women and every children whose lives have been destroyed and altered by violence.

Please send your stars to them at PWW:
The PWW Centre
15 Market Street
30000 Ipoh
Tel : 05-2469715

Below is the link to learn how to make the stars :
//www.youtube.com/watch?v=qSjyDqztzaQ

For more information, email at perakwomenforwomen@gmail.com

I am also calling out to all WP bloggers around Malaysia to help me share this cause to your followers and encourage them to participate.

Help save a life; weave a star!!!

How Much Longer

How Much Longer
You lost your voice
Upon his roaring thunder
Of growing ego

As you lost your consciousness
Over his viscious hands.
How much longer of the sound you
need to bear deaf in the truth of torture and agony?
You lost your thought
In every scorn you hear
From the sound
Of his nasty outrage
And abomination.
How much longer of the blunders you need to take to run away and seek for help?
You lost your smile
For every word
He utters is a knife
That cuts off the very essence
Of your being
How much longer of a smile can you hold
To unfold the truth that you are suffering silently?

 

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Written for VJ’s weekly challenge

Dear victims of VIOLENCE speak up use your language to be heard and to get help
Dedicated to all women who are silent  victims of violence. SPEAK UP. https://onewomansquest.org/2019/07/08/v-j-s-weekly-challenge-56-language/

“We need language to tell us who we are, how we feel, what we’re capable of – to explain the pains and glory of our existence.”

– MAYA ANGELOU

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Inspired by my recent visit to Old Town Ipoh, where i happened to drop by in a shop, of all its proceeds will be used  to help/assist victims of violence particularly women.

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Violence includes domestic abuse, sexual assault, verbal and emotional abuse.  Violence and abuse can cause physical and emotional problems that will last long even after the abuse happened. If you’ve experienced violence or abuse, it is never your fault, and you can get help. There are several organizations worlwide that aims and help victims of abuse.

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In particular this shop is helping the “Perak Women for Women Society” organization. So if ever you are around this area visit the shop and your single purchase can go a long way.

The United Nations defines violence against women as “any act of gender-based violence that results in, or is likely to result in, physical, sexual, or mental harm or suffering to women, including threats of such acts, coercion or arbitrary deprivation of liberty, whether occurring in public or in private life.”

Concubine Lane-Ipoh

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Splendid, beautiful and warm
That’s what you are, full of charm

But history was unkind
To the truth, some were blind

Your story was interestingly told
By many as they stroll, young and old

Tell tales has it, you were gifted
By a wealthy man indeed

Some whispered you were the haven
Of love untold and forbidden

You’re a silent witness
Of the truth there is that says

“I am but a memory
Of glorious past of history”.

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Inspired by my recent visit to The Concubine Lane, in Old Town Ipoh, Perak.

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The Concubine Lane has history that goes all the way back to 1892 when parts of Old Town Ipoh were rebuilt after a fire. The Concubine Lanes were part of the rebuilt which was owned by a mining tycoon who have said to give these lanes to his three wives. Thus the locals call it, the wife’s lane, concubine lane and the second concubine lane. Another version of the story is said to be that these are the lanes to which the rich men hid their second wives.

Regardless of the validity of the story, the Concubine Lane is a beautiful reminder that no matter what happens, we continue to persevere and live the life we love. We will be UPROOTED sometimes, we will be CHALLENGED, and we will be BROKEN; know that these are nothing but part of a greater plan, for us to become the better if not the best version of ourselves.

After the fire that hit the Old Town Ipoh in 1892, its people have been resilient and dedicated in their pursuit of bringing back the glory that the the place used to have.

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Today, Old Town Ipoh, stands majestically as one of the places to visit in Ipoh. The crumbled walls and broken architecture are reminders of its past: the once broken, the once burned down, the once forgotten has risen again.

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The Concubine Lane is one of the distinct and remarkable areas in Old Town Ipoh, which at the same has a story many wil not be happy about. Having said that, Concubine Lane has inspired people to learn to understand the diverse culture of Malaysia through its vibrant colors, its cafes, its novelty shops and its walls. Most importantly it teaches us a very important lesson in life; a lesson that says,  no matter what people think or say about you, you stand by your beliefs, your values and your idealism. You rise up above criticisms and continue to inspire others to be good. Every wall and every corner of Concubine Lane is a manefistation that one can learn to better themselves amidst all the crisis and tribulations.

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The Concubine Lane is a testament of love. And as we walk along its corners, know that it will be a silent witness to a love’s sweet whispers, a child’s biggest dream, a mother’s plea, a husband’s triumph and of dreams do come true.

Posted for calmkate’s Friday-fun- Uprooted https://aroused.blog/2019/07/06/friday-fun-uprooted/