it’s been many days, many months, many years i could barely remember the reason, the story behind we parted ways, we said goodbye but the pain of letting go, saying adieu broke me in million little pieces shattered me in million more ways
it’s been many days, many months, many years we have moved on, we have moved forward i could barely remember the challenges, the obstacles i went through just to get by forgetting you wasn’t easy, ’twas so damn hard i was torn apart, i was wrecked, i was fragmented i grieved in silence, i suffered in perfect serenity
it’s been many days, many months, many years i could count more days, more months, many more years i’ve mastered the art of smiling while agonizing i’ve mastered the skills of being broken yet whole i’ve mastered the way to move on while wanting to look back
it’s been many days, many months, many years i am completely convinced, totally assured that you are but, a fragment of my dream, a beautiful memory of my past worth remembering as i smile, until on the 29th day of the second month of the year, you appeared my dear
and all the days, the months, the years that passed by were forgotten, set aside would it be too late or too soon to say my dear that i’ve missed you so in all those days, those months and those years, and if you may, let me say “i promise to love you forever, again”
i don’t know what hurt the most being beaten up or being taunted?
the beating produces bruises and wounds but eventually it will heal, it will become a scar, a scar that will remind you of the wars you’ve won, of the battles you’ve overcome the scars, in effect, will make you a better, stronger, triumphant person then you are healed of the traumas of the past healed of your brokenness
but the humiliation and insults, do they even heal? the damaging words uttered do they even fade away? how do you mend a heart battered by indiscretion? how do you cure a mind tortured by insults? how do you rescue a soul drowning with indignity?
will there even be scars after each prejudicial word is said? how do you cure ruined self-worth because of mortification? i don’t know what hurt the most being beaten up or being taunted?
will someone tell me please, because i don’t really know anymore which pain is worst, being beaten up or being taunted?
must you be a dream in my make- believe realm that i keep chasing in the silence of the night? as i take the long road, in search of the light, the promising yet blinding light of rational sanity and reasonable tolerance of steady balance and bountiful liberality for it’s never easy, to relate to others while making healthy choices
must you really be just a dream in my make- believe realm that i keep seeking in the chaos of my head? as i find my way, in pursuit of a solitary life ahead a life of upswing recovery and ease healing a life of peaceful acceptance and free- wheeling for it’s never easy, to find joy and happiness in the darkest of times, in the loneliest of moments
must you really be just a dream i keep chasing in my head?
this one’s for the child, the abandoned child in you don’t blame her for the misfortunes you had she was given up by choice, upon birth, not even her fault so if by some sad fate she was so hard and rebellious, forgive her for it was not her choice
this one’s for the girl, the broken girl in you don’t shame her for the mishaps you had she grew up lost and astray, in a place that sure was not hers so if by some sad consequence she was delinquent, pardon her for it was not her choice
this one’s for the young lady, the assaulted young lady in you don’t humiliate her for the violence you had she trusted so much and believed in the good of humanity so if by some sad repercussion she was violated, absolve her for it was not her choice
this one’s for the lady, the dumped lady in you don’t disgrace her for the love you didn’t get she was too young, too dumb and too naive so if by some sad chance she was broken and hurt, acquit her for it was not her choice
this one’s for the woman, the abused woman in you don’t condemn her for the exploitation you had she was a victim, a silent victim so if by chance she was hopeless and muted condone her for it was not her choice
this one’s for you; abandoned, broken, assaulted, dumped, and abused you are not alone, and you will never be
From an IG prompt hosted by Rosema of AReadingwriter #Novembernotes2021
if uncertainty is daunting, and living is just believing then i’d say, i love you with all of my fears, agitation, and panic but i’d love to believe living without you is more unsettling than any of my trepidation would be so i look at the heavens above and say my highest esteem to God for i’ve met my greatest blessing, the day i’ve met you
if uncertainty is daunting, and living is just believing then, i want you to know that if i can’t have you for the rest of my life i’d settle for the thoughts of afterlife so i look at the heavens above and extend my praise and thank to God for i know He has prepared a room for you and for me in His kingdom above
if uncertainty is daunting, and living is just believing then, i’d wait for the perfect time to come when uncertainty is no longer daunting and living is not just believing
i can’t breath, i can’t cry, i can’t even sigh when you pushed me hard, down the ground and why? just why? because i am different? my color is different from yours? since when did colors matter? since when did you have the right to treat me like i’m not even half a human?
i can’t breath, i can’t cry, i can’t even sigh when you humiliated me in public and why? just why? because i am not like you? my beliefs are different from yours? since when did differences in beliefs matter? since when did you have the right to ridicule me?
why the need to segregate why the need to separate
different colors? different races? different beliefs? different status?
it’s choking me. i can’t breath. i can’t cry. i can’t even sigh.
i need to breath. survive. live
from an IG prompt by Rose of Areadingwriter- Song: I Can’t Breathe (H.E.R)
i see them all bowing their heads in supplication begging earnestly, humbly or maybe i thought in the church, all Sundays for worship and adoration over the years as time goes by and yet i never understand why
why they seemed to be good, to be nice, to be kind only within the confide of the walls of the church for everyone to see, for everyone to witness over the years as time goes by and yet i never understand why
why they still bang their doors upon arriving their homes they yell at their servants with little or no reason at all they nag at the simplest mistakes of their children over the years as time goes by and yet i never understand why
they who claimed to be servants of God live a luxurious life, amidst vow of poverty they have been allegedly molesting women and children they have been irrational human beings over the years as time goes by and yet i never understand why
why, really why, yet i pray.
i pray for God to grant me wisdom to understand things that i can’t barely acknowledge pray for God to grant me discernment to preceive things better over the years as time goes by and yet i never understand why
why, really why, yet i pray i keep praying even if i don’t know why
from an IG prompt hosted by Rosema of Areadingwriter
where do i begin to tell you at least, that i can’t make it here, while you are there i can’t have breakfast in bed while you are on the phone i can’t have coffee while you are driving through the highway i can’t have sumptuous lunch while you are ordering fastfood i can’t have dinner while watching you fix yours from a distance
where do i begin my dear, to that say i am sorry ours could be so odd, so odd we don’t see eye to eye i don’t wanna go to bed whispering goodnight while caught between crazy storms and poor connectivity i don’t wanna dream of forever hopeful but alone i don’t wanna wake up at the first blush of sunshine without you by my side
so, while you are there and i am here trying to figure out the best way to share our love, our hopes, our dreams remember then, life always ends where it begins ours, just come in full circle
we are back to where our love started; Manila
From An IG Prompt hosted by Rosema of Areadingwriter