and when the night unfolds i ask the universe as i was told never good never enough for what makes a woman good for what makes her enough? how much of too much is too little what makes more a little less? for time and time again she’s always told you’re never enough no matter what for whatever it takes may we all remember we are all passersby wanting to leave a mark in the doorway of humanity’s historical evolution whether man or woman it doesn’t matter as we are all good enough more than enough capable of being enough.
We have a phrase this week to serve as writing prompt.
i smile, remembering you over midnight sweet peanut butter sandwich snacks i smile ‘cos it tastes just like your kiss the first time over in your place you wrapped your arms around me, the world stopped in an instance i was completely in a state of deep trance.
i smile, remembering you over morning coffee caffeine kick i smile ‘cos it is just like you, bitter at first as it slips through my lipstick you made me wander through life with your sweet, bitter swag flick i was utterly, completely stunned by your effortless slick.
i smile, remembering you over late afternoon writing spree i smile ‘cos i sure could write the most romantic imagery one could read to see you will have a movie-worthy character development with glee i am writing you a story for free.
you see i’m trying to write here a verse or two ’bout the day i met you for i swear i’ll never be able to forgive myself if i don’t let you have a clue of how my life changed the first time i laid my eyes on you i was naive at seventeen but fell hopelessly in love with you.
fast forward to today, i’m still truly in love with you gosh, how long has it been? a decade or two? it doesn’t matter ‘cos i love you so.
what if we never meet what if we didn’t fall in love what if I didn’t leave what if you didn’t let me go these and many more, i wonder ‘cos i am tired of playing pretend that i don’t miss the sound of your voice the feel of your touch against my body the tenderness of your lips when it touches mine these and many more i missed every moment of every day from the time you went away (or i went away) to this day how long has it been? i don’t know but i remember will i let the universe decide our future? will i allow the cards of my life take its rightful way to you? or will i be courageous enough this time to say “it’s you i am choosing?”
if you know my story you’d be amazed for mine is the modern account of an era where women are regarded as the weakest human version mine represents the zeitgeist of the unfortunate era for women an era when if a woman speaks her mind she is stubborn she is selfish she is arrogant.
if you know my story, you’d either hate me or love me hate me for not standing up for myself or love me for being the most resilient patient woman, you’d probably encountered this age.
however, you take it i guarantee you i am well aware of my rights, my dispositions my priveledges and i will fight the moment i am least expected to retaliate.
that’s who i am strong determined empowered but resilient and patient most importantly i never rage a war without a game plan so if you think i am weak, and you can just step on me; hold on, dear and be afraid for war usually begins at the break of dawn when the world is in complete halt and silence.
this is my story and it could be anyone’s story too.
For Reena’s Exploration Challenge, i used this verse as inspiration “I’m sick and tired of being called ‘mortal’ like, you don’t know that. Neither do I. I have never died even ONCE. Nothing has been proven yet. Stop making assumptions. It’s rude.”
i am a lonesome mortal on earth yet to experience death.
if death comes to visit me i am ready for i have lived my life to the fullest.
i have made the most notable most memorable trail on earth.
yes, i did even if life was full of unwarranted tribulations.
i fought the hardest fights with grace and composure.
i stood by my ground, never gave up, and was always ready to be brave in yet another battle anytime.
even if people around made it so hard i face them with a smile, with gratitude, with love.
i face them with the hope that they remember me for all of the good reasons and not for my failures.
not even for my occasional pride and arrogance or my shortcomings.
and i say forgive me my fellow mortals for all the times i hurt you and all the times i wasn’t my best self.
yes, i am ready for death anytime or so i thought
until today death arrived.
shocking and chilling unexpectedly, i thought he’d come at least in a form i’m so familiar with.
grave illness, cardiac arrest, or maybe a nightmare.