“she could have been mine”

seated together in the corner,

she remembered you quite well,

of the birthday cards you made,

of the letters you wrote.

Over a cup of coffee with friends

she told your story,

of how you made her giggle,

of those and many more stories.

laughing along today,

she could well recall,

the valentine’s cards  you sent

of how beautiful they’re made.

looking back

she said you never made it clear,

of what your intentions maybe,

of how she could have been yours.

“how long has it been?” a question prompted at once.

with regret she said “twas long ago”

“mom…” a teen age girl called out to her

twas indeed long ago; as how the girl has grew.

“she could have been mine”….is all we could say.

P.S.

A  story told by  friend over a up of coffee.

How many times have we ever said “I could have done that”, “I wish….”, “that could be me..” or in this case “she could have been mine”.

Every once in a while we are confronted with this truth. The truth that we could never ever bring back the past. All we can do is catch up a glimpse  of the possibility of who we are meant to be and who we could have been. At the same time we can also catch up a glimpse of how far we have yet to go; we see that there are many twists and bends and struggles in the road before we finally arrive, and this glimpse will pain us with its reality. Of the reality that how much we wanted to…the past will always be just behind us.

There will always be a corner of our hearts where it is autumn, that part which aches with searching and loneliness, with restlessness or dissatisfaction. That’s why it is imperative to hold on to what we have at the moment and never let it go…

Have you let go of something and wished you could have it back? Let me know..

cloud nine (ecstatic feeling)

a deep loud vibration is beating

in cool afternoon sheets.

she heard you breathe noisily while sleeping

in rough hoarse voices.

a melody in different tone

in deep brightened sleep.

she felt you’re good and done

in shadows right through a nap.

a joyful release of fondness

in warmest sweet devotion.

she felt your touch of coolness

in slow moving affection.

as you lay down in bed,

so calm and candid.

P.S. Random thoughts during a lazy Saturday afternoon when napping nor going out for a walk is not an option…i just miss you sleeping beside me..

Creative Pain

Somewhere in between…

I cried out in pain.

I agonized in disdain.

I lamented in vain.

Sometime thereafter…

I walk away over.

I smile in sober.

I yearn to unfetter.

Somewhere then…

I will be discharged.

I will be freed.

I will be liberated.

Until then…

For a moment and now..

Pain can be beneficial when it leads to some kind of “liberty” in us, when a sleeping energy is awoken, when unknown talents are recognized, when a understanding about life’s purpose and direction deepens in us.

There is much within us that needs to come to life.

Pain brings them out.  It made us see that we have in stored so much love, fidelity, endurance, resilience, hope and understanding in us. 

Pain can be a process of purification and discipline in us in many ways..