Letting Go

and the saddest part of loving is letting go
letting go of you and of your memories
so that you could fly freely, freely to where you are now, for in holding on,
you carry my burden, my burden of
not knowing, why, why you had to go

and the saddest part of loving is letting go
letting go of what could have been,
had I known, had I known your agony,
your pain and, worst, your fear
did you ever cry, cry hard enough to sleep
or cry hard enough to forget?

and the saddest part of loving is letting go
letting go of my own failure, failure
to see the sadness behind your smiles,
the pain in your eyes, the affliction in your stories and tell- tales, and above all
my failure to simply stay beside you

and the saddest part of loving is letting go
letting go of you, and of the thought that no matter what I do, no matter how much pain I feel, no matter how many times I cry in agony, you, have been taken from us
permanently, for good and forever

the saddest part of loving is indeed letting go, but that won’t stop me from loving you

Rest Now, My Friend

and so, life indeed is full of surprises
such as when you could carry on smiling while I was in tears
your positive energy was remarkable, I swear
your smiles were authentic, crystal clear
and for that “cheerful” could be your first name

and I don’t know how you did it over the years
you created a bubble, life, free of fears
free of anxities and free of worries, gosh you were so good
so good at being okay, being fine, simply good
and for that “positive” could be your last name

and how much of you do I need to emulate?
‘cos at times I don’t know how you did it
you smiled amidst pain, and you laughed amidst trouble
and I can’t thank you enough for the love so great
you spared us from the pain, the pain of knowing your agony

and how amazing is it that you showed me the joy of living
when you were silently, slowly dying inside?
that each smile you gave was simultaneous with every silent pain you recieved
each joyful word you uttered, was every quiet cursing you made

and as we lay you to rest, I pray
I pray for strength,
strength to carry on with just the smiles, the joy, the laughter
you shared

rest now, my dear friend, you are love
always and forever

-in loving memory of a dearest friend-

I’m Sorry, I Didn’t Know

nothing beats the pain
of you leaving
and me grieving
without knowing why
why? because you left
you simply walked away
no words
no goodbyes
nothing at all
and it hurts
i wanted to curse you
hate you, and be mad at you
damn it! didn’t i deserve to know?
didn’t i deserve to walk you through,
all through the days of your pain
of your agony and of your anxiety
all through your moments of doubts
moments of quiet wailing
and moments of silenced hateful cursing
and now,
i sit still and quiet
still wondering
what hurts the most
you leaving without a word
or me grieving
for missing the signs
for not knowing the obvious
for simply believing you’re fine
when truth was, you were not
whose fault was it, huh?
yours for not telling
or mine for not knowing?

goodbye, nevertheless, my friend
enjoy your new life in heaven

i’m sorry, i didn’t know

– in loving memory of a dear friend-

For Sadje’s https://lifeafter50forwomen.com/2021/03/08/what-do-you-see-72-march-8-2021/

How Lonely Can You Be?


Second in the series of “tell me your song, i’ll write you a poem”

Fly Me To The Moon – Frank Sinatra
Request sent in via IG by the lovely @manahil_mansha, to cheeer up her dearest friend

How Lonely Can You Be?

it has been cold and lonely,
how lonely can it be?
how lonely can you be?
that I wouldn’t know for sure
but your eyes,
your eyes
your eyes my dear
never will it lie
I see your pain
and I feel your agony
cheer up my dearest
let me take you to a place
a place where your eyes
will speak of a thousand joyful moments
your heart will cry out for a thousand and more wonderful memories, and your mind
your mind, will finally find its happy thoughts, its restful respite
and its quiet refuge
my dearest friend take my hand
and together,
“let’s fly to the moon
let’s play among the stars
let’s see what spring is like
on Jupiter and Mars”

“In other words, hold my hand”
you’ll be fine, with me,