Suddenly

Looking thru the corner of my eyes;
A wonderful vision of a soul passing by.

Needing to catch a glimpse for it flies;
Indelible moments don’t know why.

Realizing this may be gone forever;
Hide not the desire meant.

Knowing this will end sooner;
You’re special though for a moment.

How to Rise After Each Fall

image

      I AM

darkness against light,
Trouble over affection,
Chaos under an order,
            I am in pain.

Noise in silence,
Blinded with sight,
Trembled though steady,
             I am in agony.

Cried in laughter,
Screamed through heard,
Fallen while standing,
              I am in disguise.

Laughed in sorrow,
Smiled over tears,
Hoped in despair,
               I am in love.

 

      How many times have we questioned ourselves about our abilities to rise above failures? Countless times I suppose.
I have been through difficult times myself too. And I must say I have risen gracefully after each fall.

How did I ever make it?

1. Admit you mess up

Yes, you read it right. One of the keys to moving on is the admission of one’s mistake. There are times when we would say “I know I am wrong”.. but at times we only say that without even realizing what indeed have we done wrong. We say we are wrong… on a general note. What is important is we know we are wrong in a more specific way. Accept the specific act/manner/ task that we have been wronged. In this way, we would be able to find a specific solution for that. The thing is: admission of specific mistakes will merit a specific solution. We have the ability to know we are wrong but we cannot understand why we have been wronged.

2. Develop the power to discern

If we have the ability or power to discern we would be able to see and understand people, things, or situations clearly and intelligently. This makes moving on easily. I am so lucky because my mother has taught me to develop this ability even as a child. And as I grow up my ability to discern has intensified.

3. Talk to the right people

By talking to the right people I mean specifically to our parents, unless otherwise, you don’t have one, then talk to someone you deemed more experienced and matured than you are. As I teenager my parents would always remind me to open up with them or discuss with them any concerns I have because no one will give me better insights than they are. They are my parents thus they love me so there is nothing that they would say would jeopardize me as a teener. And even when I was a parent myself too, I still would run to them for encouragement or clarification, and it would as always work.

4. Have the attitude of positive expectancy

Say, it will be better… I will make it… I know I can…make this as your mantra. Expect something good will happen every day or even after you have messed up.

5. Learn to filter suggestions and recomendations

As a general rule listen to positive information only. Learn to recognize a good suggestion over the worst one. Refuse to worry over circumstances beyond your control. Don’t allow yourself to be entangled over emotional suggestions that will only hinder us from taking control of ourselves.

Alone and Happy

I was having coffee at starbucks with my college daughter. I knew she would leave me as soon as she’s done with her coffee to catch up with her morning class. But what i didin’t realize is that she’ d leave sooner than she can finish her food. That’s when reality struck me. I am alone again. Kids are now back to school after a long holiday break. My husband has also gone back to work.

So what good is it in there in being alone? I am listing down some things that made me happy being alone. If you have been following me you knew by now why i am alone at home. For the benefit of those who just came in: i resigned from my academic work long time ago; thus when everyone else is in school or work i am left alone at home.

Being alone entails a lot of good things than bad. So instead of wallowing over the pain of being alone, allow me to celebrate with you the joys of being alone.

1.The joy of Solitude

Being alone allows me to be by myself where my thoughts are my only companion. I restore myself when i am alone.
The chaos of the holiday season can sometimes be overwhelming. So overwhelming that it made us forget our sense of self. At some point our minds are crowded by the presence of friends and relatives who came over to celebrate the holidays with us. Or that we are so happy of the many beautiful gifts we received as christmas presents. Now, we need a break. We need a moment to reconnect back to our ownselves. Look deeply again into ourselves, listen carefully again into our inner thoughts and touch tenderly back our souls. We travel more when we are alone because we reflect more. It is also the time when we begun to realize that we can actually survive alone: alone in patches, alone in groups, alone in races, even alone in genders.

It will also be a time to celebrate the good in others, speak only for words of kindness and walk with the knowledge that though you are physically alone at the moment, there are those who accompany you in their thoughts… you are not alone after all.

2. The joy of “Slowing Down”

We all know that life is not a race, nor some sort of a game. Being alone allows us to slow down and enjoy the little things around us- the coffee your drinking, the cute little nails that you have, the color of your skin, the blessings that you have: these will bring you the greatest of all joys and smiles, because being alive should never be enough to make you happy. You need to slow down and detach yourself from all sorts of distractions and that can only happen when you are alone.

3. The joy of “Saving Money”

You see when you are alone you save a lot of money. For one being alone ia a lot cheaper than spending time with others. You can just literally sit down and do just close to nothing. You can enjoy imagining things around you. When you are with other people at some point yoh will be spending money. Spend some time alone with yourself every now and then and yoh will eventually realize how much money you have actually saved.

4. The joy of “Simple life”

We might have already forgotten the beautiful scent of the sheets we slept in at night because we are too busy catching up on the days events and activities. Being alone will make us appreciate this and other simple joys life has to offer.

5. The joy of “Not hearing/listening to unneccessary information”

Let’s admit it, when we are with other people we tend to either talk or hear about things aren’t really necessary in life. Some of our friends maybe the ones unintentionally feeding us information that may directly or i directly affect our sense of well being. And so being alone sometimes may unclutter our minds from all those unnecessary information that has been in stored

6. The joy of “Staying more focused”

We have to remember that as human being we should not only be focusing on completing certain tasks or certain goals. We need to focus more on ourseleves. With the advent of technology we have forgotten who we really are and what we are living for. Very few individuals are capable of understanding themselves as individuals  – most of us simply behave without understanding who we really are. Understanding one self will only happen if we spend some time alone focusing in ourselves and our thoughts.

I know you by name
I know you without shame.
You are beautiful, you are lovely
You are precious, you’re not ugly.

I hear you scream
I hear you yearn.
You are loud, you are sound
You are right, you’re not dumb.

I feel you hold tight
I feel you with might.
You are strong, you are tough
You are sturdy, you’re just enough.

Let me know you again
Let me rediscover what’s hidden inside.

P.S.

Cheers for the newest and latest “joys” you may find as you spend sometime alone with yourself. Let me know….

 

Mondays of Longing

The rain danced merrily

along with the sun

beautifully performed 

in a piano sonata

upon that day, a Monday

our roads foretold a melody

in early summer

in late December.

You walked past me slightly

along my left slowly

I struggled to escape

your brown eyes so elegant,

so deep…

so unfathomable…

yet you caught me.

My heart skipped

My breath drowned

You took away everything.

my blurry eyes…

my broken breath…

my bloody heart…

You let our wary hands met

let my heart finally 

rest from this chase

let my Polaris shine its light upon us

that, eventually

those repeating, endless days

those days of Monday

those Mondays of longing no more.

And so I love you

As i woke up without you

I did not know what to do

i lost the smile far more

cos i long for you so sure.

when i remember you by

 i wish i could fly

so i could be where you are

even we’re thousand miles apart.

As i walk on the street

i can see my heart dimly lit

for you my love, isn’t with me

and i much miss thee.

whenever i drive the car home

i long to hear your voice even on the phone

to hear your sweet i love

that i would answer with a shy i love you too.

as  i work on my table late at night

i imagine you hugging me so tight

but for now, i know, it would still not come true

and that reality makes me feel so blue.

later as i will go to sleep

i will still have the pain of missing you so deep

i dread the feeling of lying down on my bed alone

and all i want you is to be with me and be home.

P.S.  a father’s day thought to the one i really love…

Thoughtfully

 

I slowly turned the lights

off…

A dwindling gesture of joy creeps in

A voice resounding within.

A desire is so strong to manifest.

I lie down in bed…

A hole appears from somewhere

In the middle of nowhere…

Taking my breath away.

I slowly close my eyes…

A view appears up there

Of a future farther…

Of myself steadier.

And I intensely breathe in…

Taking much more of reality

that…

the voice yells differently,

the hole leads to uncertainty,

the view tells insanity…

that…

one day my voice will be heard,

the hole won’t be empty,

and the view will be a sight…

a beautiful sight of what’s

within the real me.

 

P.S. a moment of coffee and me; a moment of peaceful solitude