Little Bleep Too (A Monologue Flash Fiction)

Little Bleep Too (A Monologue Flash Fiction)

I never realized my story would end before it could even begin.

I silently wished to make it through. I actually have been praying so hard. And, I tried to be so good too. When I was told to behave, I did. When I was told to hang on, I did. When I was told hope, I did. I prayed so hard. I behaved so well. I held on tightly. I hoped (even when hope was not an option).

I was that “little bleep” screaming silently, wanting to see the world outside. I was a witness to how love survived all odds. Oh, geez I’ve witnessed the two most annoying human beings for wanting to get rid of each other, and yet not even one of them wanted to say goodbye first. How funny and stupid could that be? But well, at the end of the day, I hear them speak of love (so much love ) for each other. I hear them talk of their future and their plans. And, the most exciting part, I hear them discuss their plans for me.

I got so excited myself too.

I can’t wait. I really can’t wait.

Until today. Someone might have pulled the plug (or is there any plug at all?) I slowly and suddenly lost control of my breathing. It became so hard to breathe. I became so dark. It became so silent. Then I heard one heartbreaking confirmation “I’m sorry, we’ve lost it” Oh, how my heartaches. Damn! I wanted to be out so bad. But hey, my heart aches for my mom who was weeping alone, alone in the corner, with no one, nobody. I cried myself too. Then I wondered how would dad feel too?

I would really want to see the world outside. Live a beautiful life. Dream a dream and make a difference.

But…

There was silence. There was total darkness.
I see nothing. I hear nothing.

P.S

This photo prompted me to write Part 2 of Little Bleep read here https://michnavs.wordpress.com/2022/01/05/little-bleep-a-monologue-flash-fiction/.

I wonder how each unborn child would be when they grow up if only they were lucky enough to make it out in this world. They could be our future best world leaders, future best scientists, future best directors, future best poets.

For women who know they’re pregnant, about 10 to 15 in 100 pregnancies (10 to 15 percent) end in miscarriage. Most miscarriages happen in the first trimester before the 12th week of pregnancy. Miscarriage in the second trimester (between 13 and 19 weeks) happens in 1 to 5 in 100 (1 to 5 percent) pregnancies.

For Sadje
https://lifeafter50forwomen.com/2022/01/17/what-do-you-see-117-january-17-2022/

Words

Words

i exhaled it all out of my suffocating lungs
i needed some space to loosen the pain
i took on the comfort of my gentle words
but i couldn’t tame them not this time

so i use the harshest expressions in a very jarring way
to pierce through every single cell your body has
so that blood will slowly trickle out each of your vein
maybe then you’ll know how much ache it was

i could think of all the bad and the worst
i could summon all that is hated and that is condemned
all the things i need just to get it through the cut
i probably want some solid-fluid air than them

i so ceased, i stopped being gentle and kind
even with the words i try to rhyme and count

for once i tell you, i’d be better when i’m good

For Reena’s Exploration Challenge # 213

Indigo Sky

Indigo Sky

did i ever tell you that you are
the sunshine in my indigo sky?
the warmth in my winter nights?
the rainbow after my storm?

did i ever tell you i wanna
build my life in the comfort
of your loving, endearing arms?
in the ardor and zeal of your embrace?

baby with you beside me
is the beginning of the end
of a life full of indigo skies,
winter nights and stormy days

For Sadje’s WDYS https://lifeafter50forwomen.com/2022/01/10/what-do-you-see-116-january-10th-2022/

New Chapter (A Haibun)

New Chapter (A Haibun)

A new chapter may not always mean a new beginning. Sometimes it’s just a repeat of what has been done and has been forgotten. A reminder of the awful but beautiful past we are forced to forget for our brains are genetically wired to protect our hearts from remembering what’s most painful and agonizingly tragic. But somehow, our brains may not always have the power to protect us for somewhere along the lane, down the road we trudge we are confronted by the past we deliberately tend to forget. The choice then is on us; do we make it right this time or do we just let the opportunity slip away?

life isn’t easy

new chapters can be daunting

i’ll be brave for you

I Thank God for my Poetry

I Thank God for my Poetry

i thank God for my poetry
for my syllables my lines my verses
they are amazingly pretty
i say it with great pride and emphasis
i thank God and i can’t be petty
for it has made my life better and wondrous

new ideas and new forms are out everyday
as i keep track of the stunning world of poetry
i struggle to stay up and updated i say
or do i really need to take it all in and be hurry
my lines and my verses i write them as i play
so i’ll take it easy regardless of what’s brand new crazy

i thank God for my poetry as loved by many
even with so many claiming to be poets
even with new lines, new verses published everyday
yet i see the loyal ones coming back as my assets
they made my poet heart happy like Hemmingway

and oh, i must not forget to say
i thank God for my muse
the one i write my poetry daily
i thank God for my muse
the poetry i write, the love of my life

P. S.

My first time joining Reena’s Exploration Challenge prompt no. 212

It’s new … does it mean it’s welcome?

Silent Scream {a flash fiction}

Silent Scream {a flash fiction}

“and what about the damage it caused me, I have to live with it my whole life?” This is what I would want to say. But no! I chose not to speak. I chose not to say a word. For what good would it bring if I speak when no one listens? No one understands? So, calmly, I gather myself up and take it from the start. From the bottom; me and my silent screams. I’m better off that way.

People believed you are in pain only when they see you bleeding. But not all pains have been cinematic and melodramatic.

It’s the silent scream that’s most painful of all.

And that’s why sometimes i wonder “can i just trade life with this little cute furry kitten, enjoying life with no complications?….just for once… for once…because i am really tired… ‘nakakapagod na’ [it’s tiring]”

I just need a moment to rest.

I am tired.

for Sadje’s WDY
https://lifeafter50forwomen.com/2022/01/03/what-do-you-see-115-january-3-2022/

Have You Seen the Butterflies Dancing? (Spoken poetry)

Have You Seen the Butterflies Dancing?

have you seen the butterflies dancing?
how their brightly unique colored wings create a perfect hue to accompany the aromatic spring air?
as colors blending, and swirling and the playful flower garden waits in great anticipation?
I haven’t.
But I, sure have seen your eyes dance in harmony with nature, glowing as brightly as the sun on a hot summer day
I’ ve seen that.
I’ve seen that dance in your eyes, that blissful afternoon, you looked at me with great admiration
perhaps, that was love
perhaps love

have you felt the feel of a snowflake trickle down your nose?
how it melts and turns into water as soon as it touches your skin?
its cool light and dry powdered feel?
I haven’t.
But I sure felt, that same cool touch
when you by chance, touched me by the face as we were exiting a full packed crowded place
I’ve felt that.
I felt your palm, so cold, so freezzing cold
perhaps, that was love
perhaps love

have you smelled the scent of a hyacinth flower?
with its intense green spring scent developing, buidling stronger as the flower blooms?
as a tight bud, with its scent lightly, ethereally floral, then opening up a gracious potent and intoxicating smell
I haven’t.
But I sure smelled that kind of scent in you
everytime you reach for my hand in a group
everytime you call my name for an afternoon chat, or a quick bench nap
I smelled that.
I smelled your intoxicating smell
perhaps, that was love
perhaps love

have you seen the butterflies dancing?
have you felt the feel of a snowflake trickle down your nose?
have you smelled the scent of a hyacinth flower?

yes I did
my memories of you
my memories of love
perhaps love

I Don’t Know How My New Year Would Be

I Don’t Know How My New Year Would Be

i don’t know how New Year would be
without striking display of fireworks to see
loud noise signaling a welcome celebration
endless list of what to be’s and what not to be’s new year’s resolution
i don’t know how New Year would be
without singing “Auld Lang Syne” with glee
eating black eyed peas for goodluck
or a mignight kiss honoring a year ahead full of love
but i don’t know how my new year would be without you baby

i wanna thank you baby what a wonderful year it was
i am eternally grateful, you have my deepest thanks
my heart is filled with nothing but respect and appreciation
with so much gratitude so it’s time for celebration
i can never thank you enough for the things that you do for me
your constant effort to make me happy is highly appreciated
but i don’t know how my new year would be without you baby

it felt like I should do something to stop the flow of time and pause
cos i’m afraid time would be unkind to me, to you and to us
’twas the best year i swear, both unprecedented and little ironic
a year that left us speechless, but made us dauntless in panic
but i don’t know how my new year would be without you baby

so i wanna thank you baby and please stay

HAPPY NEW YEAR dear WP friends and poets

Light

who lights you up?

Light

you’re my light
you’re my life
i need you by my side
as i sail on the distraught
troubled water in stride

together
let’s navigate
steady hands at stake
hearts prepared to brave
biggest storms greatest waves

you’re my light
you’re my life
i need you by my side

it has always been you
my light my life

always

For Sadje’s WDYS https://lifeafter50forwomen.com/2021/12/27/what-do-you-see-114-december-27-2021/

Ode To Siargao (#PoetryFundRaising)

I am joining my fellow Filipino poets/writers in raising funds for the victims of typhoon Odette thru #HopeMatters #poemforacauseph #poetryfundraising

Ode To Siargao

regret filled me in as Odette destroyed your beauty within
you’ve been my dream for many moons and many suns
but i never really get the chance
i wonder if it’s true you’re a tear-dropped shape land
they say you have the post-card perfect spots
you are naturally breathtaking

now i can only imagine, your beauty is it still the same?
you’re only few hours away from where i am with some lay over
but i didn’t push hard enough to see you and make it happen
now i needed to wait for another chance to witness your beauty restored
regret indeed happens in the end

surrounded by crystal clear turquoise waters and covered in coconut palm trees
you are no doubt a dream tropical destination for both local and international travelers
and what a local fool i am for not seeing you as tourists take their time
you are our “surfing capital” boasting some of the most influential surf breaks in the world

and with a heart full of regrets i swear to see you once and for all
for i know no amount of super typhoon could destroy you
no amount of disasters, or calamities can topple down the spirits
of those who love and adore you with all their hearts
and i am one being, for i have loved you even from a distance

your beauty is beyond compare and indestructible
together, with the rest of the world i say the sun will shine brightest upon you again
for hope matters even when there is little or even non at all

Note: Siargao is the surfing capital of the Philippines, recently hit by the super typhoon Odette (Rai)