I slowly turned the lights


A dwindling gesture of joy creeps in

A voice resounding within.

A desire is so strong to manifest.

I lie down in bed…

A hole appears from somewhere

In the middle of nowhere…

Taking my breath away.

I slowly close my eyes…

A view appears up there

Of a future farther…

Of myself steadier.

And I intensely breathe in…

Taking much more of reality


the voice yells differently,

the hole leads to uncertainty,

the view tells insanity…


one day my voice will be heard,

the hole won’t be empty,

and the view will be a sight…

a beautiful sight of what’s

within the real me.


P.S. a moment of coffee and me; a moment of peaceful solitude

When Bad Luck Hits You

When bad luck hits you….or is it really bad luck? is there really such a thing as BAD LUCK…How can LUCK itself be BAD?

with crumbling thoughts

driving so fast;

to a destination not certain yet;

disappointment a bit…

Hitting a wall is normal;

stumbling a block is usual.

slipping the floor is tolerable;

choking in public is bearable.

As panic slips through;

thoughts now harder though.

mind-blowing thing;

silly feeling.

stopping by for a drink;

don’t know what to think.

hitting by the door;

almost stumbled on the floor.

Realizing what happened;

my mind crumbled.

how unfortunate yet sober;

getting hit by the door.



(the now “injured” hand)



I was 10 minutes away from home driving to a destination I wasn’t certain then (or maybe I was, but still contemplating) when I realized I needed a drink. So I stop by a nearby supermarket to buy the very famous thirst -quencher Gatorade.  As I walk back the car I felt the rather unnatural blow of the wind. I slowly opened the door and in a split second… I heard a loud “bang”… I thought another car about to park hit mine…but I didn’t felt it move, so it wasn’t for sure, or maybe it was a gun?…but I didn’t see anyone running though, so it couldn’t be a gun…..then suddenly… I saw blood oozing down my hands… I saw blood..yes.. the same blood coming from my own hands,… as it was hit by my car door….(my own car’s door) … I wanted to scream because honestly, I could already feel the pain (a lot of pain really)… I wanted to cry too..(who wouldn’t anyway?)…but no! I did not scream, nor cry…with so much grace and composure I managed to grab my hands back, tucked it with my handkerchief allowing more blood to manifest in my hankies. I saw people coming..some had a look of concern, some had a look of surprise, some had a look of….well..stupid curiosity… I managed to say..”I’m good”…and like every graceful woman, I too graciously entered my car….when I opened my hands I saw a small wound…(just a small cut, where the blood was actually coming from)… I started moving my wrist and when it didn’t hurt much I drove back home…

There goes my story..the story of… when bad luck hits you…is there really such thing as bad luck?

According to Patrick J. Kiger in his article “Why Do Some People Only Have Bad Luck?”; the problem is that even when sequences of bad events are caused purely by random chance, our minds still crave an explanation. Furthermore, he said that the subjective aspect of bad luck also makes it possible for people to rid themselves of the perception that they suffer from it. Zwick and colleagues, in an experiment detailed in a 2012 article in the Journal of Experimental Psychology, found that subjects who experienced misfortune were more willing to take risks again if they had washed their hands — a traditional superstitious ritual that supposedly cleanses a person of bad luck.

“We believe in bad luck,” explains psychologist and skeptical investigator Michael Shermer, author of the 1997 book Why People Believe Weird Things: Pseudoscience, Superstition, and Other Confusions of Our Time. He says that our ability to find patterns in masses of sensory data—a crucial skill that helped humans to survive and thrive—also tends to spot patterns in random noise, where none actually exists.

Of course, we all know that at some point certain things happen for a reason. Whatever the reason may be, it’s not always bad luck. After all, bad things happen even to the kindest people. We just have to be critical about putting blame on the idea of “bad luck” when things don’t turn out the way we want them to be. There are far better explanations than bad luck itself. And when we begin to see the logical and rational reason for certain events, then we will be equipped with the ability to make sound judgment and better decisions that will eventually do good to us than harm. Or should I say bring you good luck than bad luck?

Analysis:  Getting hit by my own car’s door; bad luck? Unfortunately for me though, it wasn’t bad luck; it was a simple case of “INCONSISTENCIES OF BEHAVIOR”. Yes, it was. If… only I was focusing on what was really happening at that moment.. (in that case it was simply opening the door) I wouldn’t have been hit by the door, yes, even if the door closing immediately was caused by a sudden wind strongly blowing.  Initially, stopping by to buy a drink wasn’t part of my itinerary. I could have brought a bottle of water from home. (So why did I stop anyway?) ….Decisions made for no particular reason…..(sigh..)  Then, I wasn’t even sure of whether to go for (1.)a “change oil” first, or to (2.) pick up my daughter and have lunch together, or worst, (3.) stop by the mall and check out “what’s new”. But can you blame me? I seldom go out….and when I do, I am always with the kids…so I follow the kids’ itinerary; not mine…anyway, that doesn’t justify my actions though.  You see, there were so many things going on in my mind that morning. And my brain cannot process them altogether at once. My brain (our brains) can’t facilitate so many things/options at once.

Lesson Learned: Take things slowly. One thing at a time. Never believe that you can actually come up with a brilliant idea after crowding your mind with tons of information not necessary for a particular moment.

On the Hindsight: My husband calls it “katangahan”…a Filipino term for being outrageously well…stupid. I must admit, he could be right.