In Heaven

In Heaven

i never got the chance
to see you smile
but i got you a name
i never got to know
how you would become
but i know you’d be great
i never got to hear you speak
but i know you’d be perfect
in everything you’d wanna be.

i never got to embrace you hello
for i had to let you go
before you even know
the world outside
is waiting for you
but He has other plans
so i just hope one day
i get to see you smile
i get to call you
by the name i chose
i get to hear you speak
and give you
the most endearing

one day soon
in heaven we will be.

if you are a regular to my blog you would know that apart from abuse and violence i am also creating awareness on mothers/women experiencing loss of a child during pregnancy or in most common term;  miscarriage. i’ve written poems about miscarriage and how women should have the much needed support during this time. we all know that miscarriage is something we don’t usually talk about and at the same time we also know that these mothers/women are hurting and grieving inside.

recently, i came across articles and stories of women experiencing ectopic pregnancies.

according to  an ectopic pregnancy occurs when a fertilized egg implants and grows outside the main cavity of the uterus. an ectopic pregnancy most often occurs in a fallopian tube, which carries eggs from the ovaries to the uterus. this type of ectopic pregnancy is called a tubal pregnancy.

sadly though a baby almost never survives an ectopic pregnancy. there have been extremely rare and unusual cases in which a baby has survived, but the odds are 1 to 3 million. these few cases typically happen outside the fallopian tubes in the abdominal cavity where blood supply is rich( ). these cases unknown to us many is also very heartbreaking for mothers, knowing that there is a growing child is something to celebrate and yet, at some point you have to decide whether or not to take the risk and go on with the pregnancy and let nature takes its course or do what’s suppose to be medically appropriate for both the mother and the child.

the dilemma now for the mother is : will she wait until it dissolves naturally? what if it doesn’t will she take on the suggestion of the medical experts to take on what is medically appropriate yet heartbreaking?

For Sadje’s WDYS

That Night (A Flash Fiction)

That Night (A Flash Fiction)

“If only I was spared of your madness that night, I would have breathed life to a beautiful baby.”

I remember it so well; the darkness of the night, the sound of the cricket, the soft breeze blowing, and my heart beating fast. My mind went crazy, holding on to what could be the most precious thing I would ever have.

But, I was not spared. I was not spared from your unfounded accusations, tantrums, or unsolicited advice. I carefully read your messages between my shaking hands and my trembling knees. I felt the pain growing strongly. I felt the bleeding oozing fastly.

I cried. I cried the hardest. With the last message, you sent comes the last blood down my body.

I knew then it was the end.

I was not spared, so as my sweet little angel.

I lost her.

August 12.

I would welcome a new life, but I was not spared, and so was my angel.

For Eugi’s Weekly Prompt

There Was August

There Was August

they say time heals all wounds
that there is healing in losing
that there is more love even after
you’re gone to never come back.

how is it possible to love
someone you never even get to see
how is it possible to miss
someone you never even get to hold?

but i had you the first sign of life
i had you the first time you breathe
i had you the first time you made me smile
i had you the first time you gave me hope.

i had you in every beat of my heart
i was meant to love you forever and always
i had you in every dream in the making
i was meant to make your dreams come true

how i wish  i could hold you in my arms
how i wish  i could kiss you eagerly always
how i wish that i could hum you
a loving melody each day.

i could only wish, i could only hope
you were gone before i could even
breathe life to you my dear
it should have been anytime from today.

you would have been an August baby
we would have enjoyed the splashing
mid August rain water; but you’re gone
gone even before there was August.

For David’s Weekly Prompt

Visit Me

Visit Me

i dream of you
in the early mornings of the days
when sunshine isn’t warm
and clouds isn’t dim
you’re playfully amazing
as i knew you would be
in your vague cute little face.

a vision of your smile
is all that i ever have
in my make believe nursery room
i would have built and designed
should you have
victoriously made it
out in this world
on your ninth month.

rest now my little angel
but visit me soon
anytime you want
and maybe then
you could stay longer
let me remember
the vagueness of your face
this time; clearer and distinct
visit me in the stillness of the night.

Losing a baby in pregnancy through miscarriage or stillbirth is still a taboo subject worldwide, linked to stigma and shame. Many women still do not receive appropriate and respectful care when their baby dies during pregnancy or childbirth (

It is time that we provide mothers/women who lost their babies through pregnancy the right amount of care and understanding. Stop shaming and blaming them. And patronizing the idea that “it happens all the time, thus it could happen to anyone”. No one knows exactly the emotional and physical pain the mother goes through this time. A little amount of understanding would go a long way. Help them heal by not being judgemental. Your critical point of view is not needed. It is your compassion.

If not now. WHEN?

For Reena’s exploration challenge