TOUGHER

I am torn to do what

I have to.

I am saddened by how

much that would be.

A million times, a thousand moments…

I shouldn’t stopped…

I shouldn’t cried…

In those moments of gloomy days;

in those times of darkness…

I got you hold out of me.

I wanted more, I couldn’t be sure…

I wanted far, I can’t start.

A million times had passed;

A million opportunities at stake.

I chose to be numbed.

I preferred to be quiet.

I stayed humble.

I kept still.

Until then; until then..

I could stretch my wings

and fly freely…

freely in the meadows of

my so called life.

P.S.

When its tough…and everything else is tougher…all you have is a piece of paper and a cup of coffee.

Happy Dad’s Day

We have the power…

We have grace…

We create beauty. ..

We give strength. ..

We set the pace…

We breathe life…

For all things must come to life…

Under our emerald embrace…

Maybe in life or in death…

It may not be true to all…but I am a firm believer of “we create our own destiny”….what lies ahead is basically dependent upon how we work for it…we have the power to make our dreams come true and at the same time, we also have the power to make it not happen. I say…we are living the life we have basically wished for…simply because we’ve worked so damn hard to achieve what we have at the moment. ..life is good … really really good. Life has been very kind to my family. ..we get to travel…we get to shop…we get to stay in luxurious hotels… My husband has the gift of making huge surprises…He can make simple things magical. ..he never fails to amaze us all… He is simply one great dad…happy father’s day to all dads… May you continue to hold that power in your hands…may you strive for beauty and grace…may you forever breathe life to your family. ..

Singapore @ its best

“The world is a book…and those who do not travel read only a page”

Saint Augustine

 

Summer is fun!

Not for the sun,

nor for the amusement

Or the enjoyment. ..

Summer is fun!

A time to trek…tour…and take a long trip…away!

 

Dreams do come true...even for a moment...a feel of Hollywood at universal studios Singapore
Dreams do come true…even for a moment…a feel of Hollywood at universal studios Singapore

 

They say Singapore is now considered the most expensive city to live in…well…that’s actually true. ..everything is really expensive. .from the bottled water…to the noodles…to the hamburger. ..to the coffee. ..to the gifts….well…everything. …but; who cares?  If you have everything then why not make use of it?

As I was growing up.. traveling for me would mean shopping. .. (if you remembered I wrote something about it last year) but I guess. .as I aged…I have become more aware of the real meaning of traveling. ..it has become more of keeping up as many experiences and memories together as a family. ..

Sure enough…this year was a different experience for me…

 

happy mother’s day!

“There is something truly magical about the way a little girl turns into her mother”-Chicken Soup for the Soul

Indeed it is true. My eldest daughter is now in college student. My two other daughters are now in high school..that leaves me with one little girl in elementary.

We have heard mothers complaining about how their children changed when they went to college or even high school…about how they have become less of a “sweet little kid”…about how they have forgotten birthdays,  anniversaries and other important family celebrations…about how they have stopped making personalized cards….about how they simply CHANGED…

I say I am one lucky mom…why? My daughters may have grown up…they may have become big girls…but they never changed. .they are still my sweet, kind, and thoughtful little girls…

Here’s what my grown-up girls prepared for me on mother’s day.

This is what makes motherhood oh so rewarding.

1. They made me feel soooo beautiful

a "cartoonized" me

Well. ..this is the “cartoon” version of myself…as perceived by my daughters.

2. I know they love me despite my limitations

My youngest daughter always amazed me with her pure and honest thoughts
My youngest daughter always amazed me with her pure and honest thoughts

3. They know I am one tough mother, but at the same time they recognized my need for a “knight in my shining armor”

Well..I guess this is what I get for teaching creative writing. ..
Well…I guess this is what I get for teaching creative writing. ..

4. They always believed in me (they watched the same movies as I did)

My oh my...this is really cute...
My oh my…this is really cute…

5. They know that I am loved by many, but they make sure they love me the most

Ahhh..this is so sweet...
Ahhh..this is so sweet…

…happy mother’s day…

Guys Listen Up…

I have been anticipating this my whole life as a mom of four girls; however,  I didn’t realize it would be like this…the day has finally arrived when my eldest daughter who’s in college gets to have her first formal male/guy/boy visitor at home…on valentines day.

Let me tell you what went wrong with the visit.

First,  it was unannounced. By this I mean he did not ask my daughter’s permission that he will come over.

      Tsk….tsk…tsk…Wrong move. She was too busy to even consider a visitor much more entertain someone who just came in crashing.

Second, he came along with some bunch of “bodyguards” (friends actually,  one being a cousin to my daughter).

         Tsk…tsk…Tsk…Another wrong move. For someone strong, intelligent, and driven college student like my daughter (modesty aside) .. it was a turn-off.

Third, he came in prepared for a solo original performance of his life. Yes…you guessed it right. He serenaded my daughter with an original composition. It was sweet and nice and romantic…but again…tsk…tsk…tsk..another wrong move.

          He scared her with him over the top romantic gesture. For a first time visit…I personally believed it was a bad idea..although in fairness he sang really well and the lyrics weren’t even also bad.

Fourth, he was too prepared; and his actions were too choreographed.

         Well, I am sure you will all agree with me if I say it is more comfortable to loosen up and just allow things to happen naturally.

Fifth, he came in with traditional roses, chocolates, and..necklace…

          The first two items I might consider. ..the third. .I don’t understand… Okay, I might be just too pathetic about the whole thing but come on..it was like ahhhhhh…

Lastly, and I think the gravest of all the wrong moves…he came in with a dedication written in the card that has been generically used by every boy on earth.

          Here’s what it says: “roses are red, this ink is blue; a girl stole my heart, I’m glad it’s you”………

Now guys…boys…men… tell me…

Isn’t it just right to ask for permission when you visit a girl’s house? (Where is your courtesy?)

Isn’t it a sign of uncertainty to come over with a “bodyguard”? (What are you scared of?)

Isn’t it too “loud” to perform solo on a first visit? (Why show off when you can play it cool?)

Isn’t it awkward to come in prepared with all your “choreography? “(Haven’t you heard of “be cool”?)

Isn’t it scary to give valuable gifts on a first visit?  (What happens if you get busted, will you take it back or will the girl be obliged to give it back?)

And lastly, isn’t it pathetic to make use of a generic dedication that I bet have been used for generations? ( don’t you think its nice to write what’s in your heart?)

Well. .that’s just me…what he did might be fine with others but judging on my experiences and hearing from my friends. ..those were a “no..no..no”.

Nevertheless, I wanted to say that I think that boy is really nice and intelligent (am sure of this one). …he just needs to restructure his moves next time…

The gifts....I didn't get a photograph of the chocolates;  one of my other daughters ate ot immediately after the boy left. Well what to do....It looked delicious,  she said..
The gifts…I didn’t get a photograph of the chocolates; one of my other daughters ate it immediately after the boy left.
Well, what to do…It looked delicious, she said…

Love

The happy valentines banner my daughters made for me. Each hanging hearts contains a special love message
The happy Valentine banner my daughters made for me. Each hanging hearts contains a special love message

It’s February 15…a day after Valentine’s Day…and well..again just like yesterday when I thought it would be another ordinary day…I was wrong…again I woke up with my girls running around with a personalized banner.

Let me tell you what each heart says…

…I believe in love at first sight; I love my mom the first time I opened my eyes.

…others don’t believe in heroes; they haven’t met my dad.

…”dad, I may find my prince; but you will always be my king.”

…a daughter needs a dad to stand by her the day she marries;  to love her even if she fails; to comfort her when the rain falls.

Mom:

 age 10: “I love you”

 age 14: “my mom is so annoying”

age 18: ” I wanna leave the house”

age 25: ” Mom, you were right”

age 30: “Mom, forgive me”

age 50: ” I don’t wanna lose my mom”

age 70: ” I love my mom so much”

…love your mom, you’ll never get another…

Beautiful reasons to celebrate love… as simple as that…

The hanging hearts
The hanging hearts

Love (Start the Day Right)

The beautifully decorated white roses which woke me up in the morning
The beautifully decorated white roses which woke me up in the morning

Love is such a complicated issue…thing…topic..feeling….(we may refer it that way..) But just as I thought that this Love Day could just pass by like any other ordinary day… I was wrong…

I woke up with a knock at my door…it was my eldest daughter… I thought it was just one of those moments when she would ask me..what to wear…what’s for breakfast…will you drive me to school?…will you pick me up later?…..

As I opened the door. I got a big hug from her…with a huge bunch of white roses…ahhhh..its Valentine’s Day…

My three other girls came over…with a chorus..”start the day right”….”happy Valentine’s Day Mom”…

How on earth were they able to hide from me that bunch of roses? We live in the same house after all.. and it is so early to even run to a flower shop and buy…well..that’s LOVE….love in its most simple way…

This morning was a manifestation of the fact that LOVE can never really be complicated…my children made it easier for me…

They always amazed me with their “skills” in coming up with great surprises, and yes I was really surprised..as of this writing I still can’t figure out how they kept that flower from me overnight…

Well… I guess I shouldn’t be worrying about it anymore…after all..when you love someone; you’ll find a way..and I suppose I witnessed that kind of love from my children…

 

Happy Valentine’s Day Everyone…

last year's Valentine's Day my kids gave me this
last year’s Valentine’s Day my kids gave me this
the poem my little girl wrote for me last year's Valentine's Day
the poem my little girl wrote for me last year’s Valentine’s Day

Potential Abuser

Image

Born with a sweet tongue

gifted with sagacity;

pretending to be forthright

and sinewy

Man of eminence yet full

of lunacy.

Born full of wits

expert to defraud

have one’s name be mud;

man of distinction yet

full of furtive lies.

Born with everything…

…nothing but.

..a deceiver…

 

P.S.

As my eldest daughter went to college, people began noticing her beauty (by this I mean physical appearance)..it is beginning to scare me that one day soon she will have suitors around…she will have men trying to win her heart over..men who whether I like it or not may only fool her…as I was processing my own fear, I realized that every mom should talk to their daughters, who, in return should open their hearts and trust their moms and talk about anything that might be of great concern in the future. Because as we all know (men may react)…. there are really mean men around…

so I listed down some possible hints that may be of help in identifying a potential abuser:

1. he isolates you from your friends or even family

2. he monopolizes your time, activities, and behavior

3. he is extremely jealous or possessive

4. he has an explosive temper (take note: BOYS WHO VENT THEIR ANGER BY PUNCHING ARE DANGEROUS; OR IF A BOY FEELS A SENSE OF RELIEF AFTER EXPLODING, better be careful)

5. he doesn’t take responsibility for his own actions (always blames others)

6. he is a control freak (need to explain more? I don’t think so)

7. he takes drugs and uses alcohols

8. he has a history of abuse in his family (well… with all due respect..this is true…a battered son may end up battering his own partner someday..)

the best possible way to stay away from this kind of situation is for girls to CONDUCT THEMSELVES IN A DIGNIFIED MANNER ….after all… you get what you deserve…

I Miss You

IMG_2721

many years had passed

yet thoughts of you linger

your memories, so clear

I can hold you clear.

I miss you, I know for sure!

many years had passed…

the scent of you lingers,

running through the air,

I can kiss you near.

I miss you, I know for sure!

many years had passed…

your soft cuddly touch embraces,

creeping through my being,

I can get closer even a thing.

I miss you, I know for sure!

many years had passed…

hearing your sweet voice,

sincerely saying, “I love you, baby”,

I can say ” I love you too, just stay”.

I miss you, I know for sure!

Three years had passed

leaving me by surprise,

I was hurt, I was broken,

I can cry, I can scorn.

I miss you, I know for sure!

many years had passed…

on this day in a mass,

I spoke to say goodbye,

a daughter’s eulogy, and lullaby.

I miss you DAD, I know for sure!!

 

 

P.S.

It’s been three years dad, and I am still missing you. I hope you’re happy up there…Oh by the way.Happy Birthday too!!

Thank You

IMG_2798

You give me sight when I can’t see,

You grant me sound when I can’t hear,

You offer me warmth when I can’t feel,

You present me flavor when I can’t savor,

You bestow my fragrance when I can’t perceive…

Cheers to you…

You endow me wisdom when I don’t understand,

You offer me direction when I don’t stride,

You furnish me details when I don’t comprehend,

You supply me energy when I don’t pursuit…

Thanks to you…

You support me even if I don’t ask,

You indulge me with love even if I don’t love you back,

You equip me with kindness even if I am ungrateful,

You accommodate me all the time even if I always run away…

Thumbs up for you…

I don’t know what I have done to deserve you,

I don’t know what to do to repay you,

I don’t know what to say to express my gratitude…

All I know is you are always there for me no matter what and regardless of…

I LOVE YOU MOM!!!!

P.S

Happy mothers day to my mom and to all the mothers out there. We should remember too that mother’s day is not only for the biological mothers (all sorts of mothers with child) but it is also for those women who wonderfully gave themselves in the service of caring and nurturing the young. They too have done an awesome job. And because they are awesome let us also greet them a HAPPY MOTHER’S Day – in celebration of their AWESOMENESS…

By the way, these women I am referring to are those in the religious service. I have known wonderful Sisters and I tell you its really difficult to nurture and take care of a child you barely even know but they did great… So HAPPY MOTHER’S DAY SISTERS…you deserve it.