How Will I Love You? (parody – How Do I Love Thee?)

How Do I Love Thee? (Sonnet 43)

Elizabeth Barrett Browning – 1806-1861

How do I love thee? Let me count the ways.
I love thee to the depth and breadth and height
My soul can reach, when feeling out of sight
For the ends of being and ideal grace.
I love thee to the level of every day’s
Most quiet need, by sun and candle-light.
I love thee freely, as men strive for right.
I love thee purely, as they turn from praise.
I love thee with the passion put to use
In my old griefs, and with my childhood’s faith.
I love thee with a love I seemed to lose
With my lost saints. I love thee with the breath,
Smiles, tears, of all my life; and, if God choose,
I shall but love thee better after death.

How Will I Love You?

How will I love you? Let me check your bank account

I will love you with the amount of cash you can give

My shopping spree could ever greatly achieve

For when I purchase a Gucci or Prada, my heart warms

I will love you to the depths and levels of the amount

Your master card or visa can accommodate

Stacking on some freebies and anything in-store at stake

I will love you then, I swear my dear with all my charm

I will love you with the price tag

Of my designer clothes and luxury clothes

I will love you with the amount of my branded bag

With my favorite brands in mind, I will love you so hard

With all my smiles, my tears, and all my life, and if I am to choose

I shall but love you, eternally even after I have used your master card

NaPoWriMo Day 26

And now for our (optional) prompt. Today, Iā€™d like to challenge you to write a parody. Besides being fun, writing parodies can be a great way to hone your poetic skills ā€“ particularly your sense of rhyme and sound, as you try to mimic the form of an existing poem while changing the content. Just find a poem ā€“ or a song ā€“ that has always annoyed you, and write an altered, silly version of it. Or, alternatively, find a poem with a very particular rhyme scheme or form, and use that scheme/form as the basis for a poem that mocks something else.