Twitch

Twitch

if only i could be that one wicked witch
with vicious power to use so i could twitch
the hands of time and go back to how it was
when ours was just a love to hate or pass.

it wasn’t long ago that we made a pact
never to say goodbye regardless of the impact
of the fight, of the argument, of the disagreement
so forgive me if i don’t understand why we have come to an end.

i wish i could twitch the hands of time
back when i knew you were not mine
and all i have was just a bunch of memories
of how it used to be back in the days.

i wish i could go back in time
when i have nothing but just
a vague memory of you.

For Reena’s Exploration Challenge

Again

Again

i don’t even know what brought you back. you were somebody i thought would never return. never in a million years. never in my lifetime.

over the years, amidst all the midnight sorrow and morning grief, i sure knew that i had prepared for this day. this very day. that for some reason you’d come back, i am ready to walk away and never give you a chance simply. the chance to say a word. the chance to make a fool of myself again.

if ever you’d come back, it would be a hi and hello and goodbye. ah, no, you don’t deserve my hi, not even my hello or worse, my goodbye.
yes, i am wholly prepared for this.

and why not? you hurt me. you broke me. more than you probably ever know. you broke me into pieces. and i was left bleeding alone. i was groping in the dark. i was lost for years and years.

i didn’t realize i’d be able to pick up the pieces again and move on, move forward. yes, i am more than okay. i am more than prepared. i know it would be just another piece of cake, dealing with your return and sending you back to where you belong. oh, no, kicking you back exactly to how you left me.

yes that was the plan. that is still the plan.

until today.

damn!

i’ve lost it. lost the plan. lost the script. lost the spiel. lost everything.

why oh why does your “hello” feel so damn good? just why?
why oh why does your “how are you” feel like a melody to my aching heart?

so here i am again, falling completely, hopelessly madly in love with you just as much i loved you when we were young and crazy and restless.

‘cos truth is, i was never okay when you left. or when i went. or when we parted. whatever happened that day, we gave each other our final look of goodbye, i was never okay until today.

there is light again. there is color again. there is music again. there is joy again. there is rhythm again. there is hope again.

and there is me, in love again.

for Eugi’s Weekly Challenge:

Let Me Be

this photo prompt gave me a sense of serenity and solitude, which most of us have longed for. this photo reminds me to love and live life to the fullest without hesitations, compromises, or negotiations. after all, when we love and live our lives this way, we will find that serenity and solitude we’ve wanted.

here is prose poetry to celebrate love without the need to adhere to certain norms and requirements of society.

Let Me Be

let me be the one to love you like it’s your first time to love. like it’s your first time to learn the tricks and trades of young and restless love. like it’s your first time to know the ins and outs of two souls, two hearts coming together as one.

let me be the one to love you like it’s your first time to shed a tear over your greatest broken heart, coupled with a fear of never ever feeling the touch of my hand and the taste of my lips. let me be the one to make you think that losing a loved one is not only devastatingly painful but is the most stupid thing one could ever do.

let me be the one to love you without the need to adhere to the crazy whims and caprices of how a man should love a woman; of how a man is obliged to give all that he has and all that he have to the woman of his dreams. let me be the one to love you without settlements to compromise, values to give up, families to let go, friends to release, plans to postpone, life to suspend, and self-worth to lose.

let me be the one to love you without any selfish motives or personal benefits. let me be the one to understand you with compassion. let me be the one to open my mind and release the judgments while talking all the time.

let me be the one to love you and forgive you quickly. let me be the one to love you, believe in you, be loyal to you, and tell you why i love you every single moment.

let me be the one to love you this way.

please let me be.

here’s how to get a copy of my 7th book and #1amazonbestseller “It Ain’t Winning If Without You”…

* for my readers in India, you can purchase the kindle and paperback copy directly from Amazon India.

 *for my readers in the US and other parts of the world, you may get it thru Amazon.Com for both kindle, and the paperback link is in my bio.

*for my Filipino readers, kindly send us a message to reserve a paperback copy of the book. to those who have made a reservation, thank you very much. the paperback copy will arrive in Manila by end of August.

*if you have any question/s, don’t hesitate to send us a message. we would be glad to assist you.

*once again, thank you for making “It Ain’t Winning If Without You” a best seller.

*good news to all my readers in the Middle East, my books are now available via Amazon. ae prime

Moving On

Moving On

“i know i can live without you i just don’t want to live a life without you anymore; i’ve been there, and it was hell.”

i’ve lost you over my youth. my pride and arrogance have taken a toll on me, and i let you go. let you go without fighting a damn good fight! and i regret it to death. i regret the day i walked away. i regret the day i let you walk away; the very same day you said, “i love you”.

oh, how my heart skipped a beat hearing those words. the words i so wanted to hear from you. but why? why did i let you go still? “too late, a hero,” ’twas all i can think of. so i let you go.

letting you go was the first kind of horrible pain i felt in my life. i was drowning in pain for days and days, and God knows how long. letting you go was the most heartbreaking and unfair thing i’ve done for myself. it felt like giving myself an outright death sentence. it was, and it will still be forever.

moving on was the hardest part. moving on was the most miserable part. but i did. i  moved on gracefully. i moved on with a smile. i moved on with flying colors. i won! moving on indeed felt so good.

until.

until i realized that my moving on destroyed my being. ruined my mind. broke my heart. toppled down my soul. moving on led me to my ultimate self-destructive ways. i was broken. broken in several pieces.

yes, i have moved on. moved on with my life but not with you or from you nor from your love.

i need you desperately.

i was wrong for believing i could actually make it flawlessly ’till the end.

i was wrong.

“i know i can live without you i just don’t want to live a life without you anymore; i’ve been there, and it was hell.”

i’ve moved on with my life, not with your love.

for Sadje’s WDYS

👉“It Ain’t Winning If Without You” available now.

👉thank you all for making it #1amazonbestselling 🥳🥳🥳

Life River

“will this life river still run as smoothly as it used to,
or will it die fast after your departure?”

all the storms there just hit me the hardest
all the sunshine of the morning was taken abruptly away from me
all the grief in the world was laid perfectly down upon me
no amount of rainbow-colored sky could brighten up this day.

the storm just flooded the river of my heart with despair
my once vibrant reflection has now turned into a brutally distorted zombie
my once lively colors have now turned gray with sorrow
no amount of positive thoughts could make me want for tomorrow.

The Fight

The Fight

i forgive the stars
for not shining the brightest
at nights when i needed a little
spark of light outside my bed
when my world is at its darkest.

i forgive the rainbow
for not showing up
the day storm took away
my strength, my hope, my dreams
when my world is crumbling down.

i forgive the sun
for forgetting to rise
the morning my soul was broken
by night’s traumatic dreams
and false promises of a better morning
when my world is at a complete halt.

and i forgive myself
for not taking on
the fight anymore.

P. S.

When I saw Reena’s Photo Collage Prompt, I immediately thought of the many battles I fought. The kind of fight seemed to be an endless battle, and I wondered if it was time to just stop. Just stop fighting.

Maybe. Or maybe not.

If ever I do, it doesn’t mean I’m done. It doesn’t mean I’m giving up. Maybe, just maybe, I need to gather more strength again. And come back stronger, better, wiser.

Two Poems: One Star & One World

One Star

i beg you, my love, to
look at the sky tonight
sure we see the same light
that one lonely star from afar.

how astounding it is
as it shines brightly despite
the struggle to fight
the blinding lights around.

that, my dear, is how i love you
from where i am for no amount
of oceans and seas apart could make
me love you less than you deserve.

how did this happen i continue to ask
i struggle to understand the ocean
of doubts in our hearts, but i sure
miss you like hell, truly yours, my dear.

One World

it’s perfectly alright
to see the world
as an astounding
place to live despite
the chaos and the discord
the war and the conflict
the global warming and hunger
for when all these are over
we have but one world to live
the earth where God made for us
to tend and to manage.

Rivers of Tears

Rivers of Tears

shed a million rivers of tears ‘cos i’m missing you, dear

there are times when holding on doesn’t anymore count on

so i took refuge and snug on at the comfort of what i could embrace right now

because for now, it’s all that i have and nothing else

nothing else can make me stop and shed a million rivers of tears.

what would you do if i say it’s killin’ me to be out here somewhere

where i lay my head at night silently sobbing for it’s in your arms, i wanna be

what would you say to my grieving heart

what would you do to make me stop

shed a million rivers of tears?

all i can do is hold on here to something i don’t know what

all i can do is hang on to the thinnest piece of thread that’s connecting us

all i can do is believe in the mere fact that i love you and that love alone will help me make it through

all i can do is trust in the process and the power of the universe

all i can do is hope for a future where there won’t be a distant mile away between you and me.

but for now, my dear, let me shed a million rivers of tears

for that’s the best i can do to lull myself to bed and wish for a goodnight’s sleep

shed a million rivers of tears

’till it’s over.

for Sadje’s WDYS

From The Eyes of Another

From The Eyes of Another

i’ve learned the ways of the world in many different manners from different people.

from the eyes of a friendly neighborhood baker
who views life like a bread
that it isn’t just food but a symbol and metaphor of a more significant journey through life
the best ones we keep; the rest we just take a bite and let it go.

from the soul of an old town family physician who is a great listener and emphatic to the concerns of his patients
he is not condescending nor arrogant and treats patients as he wants to be treated
most importantly, he does his job with joy and gratitude
as we should always be in life.

from the magic tricks of a joyous party clown who makes every little kid hope for the best
those impossible things may be possible, actually
that things that are separated and broken may be rejoined anyway
that when we feel overwhelmed by a problem, it could be just an illusion
and like magic life will always find a way.

you see, life is never at all full of complications if only we learn to navigate our way
and we see it better from the eyes of another.

For Reena’s Exploration Challenge:
https://reinventionsreena.wordpress.com/2022/07/07/reenas-xploration-challenge-238/

A Film

A Film

if i am to die
and you are to write
poetry ’bout my life
would you
describe me
as the one that got away
or the one that changed
your life in many ways?
or am i too complicated
that you’d need it to be a novel
in paperback and hardcover copy
for not even an ebook would be
exciting enough
for the world to read?

my birth wasn’t magical
that i’m sure of
for there were
no stars, no moon
unpoetic time
in the late afternoon
yet that moment alone
would merit a
60 000 word count
requirement of
a melodramatic novel.

there wasn’t a music
played along as my mother
held on for her dear life
with the hope of
making me see light
the world has to offer,
‘though my light
then didn’t come in
sparks fly colorful
enchanting ways
but that alone could merit
the cinematic requirement
of a full length
dramatic film.

so if i am to die
and you are to write
poetry ’bout my life
that in return, you’d realize
its complications and complexities
are as mind-blowing
as my character and personality
you’d opt for a melodramatic
novel which eventually
will become a nostalgic
film you’d ever produce.

so if i am to die
remember
don’t you dare forget
that you are
the one and only
love of my life
my only death wish
would be
please produce
the most compelling
love story the world
will ever get to see
of you and of me
and of our story.

for Sadje’s WDYS