I Could Never Be Her

I Could Never Be Her

do you ever wish for one second you had not loved me?
‘cos i feel you do everytime i see regret in your words whenever you are disappointed
everytime i hear exhaustion in between your sighs when you are disheartened
and when the tides are against your will i hear loud screams in your silence.

do you ever see me as a shadow of the one you used to love?
‘cos i feel you do
whenever you look at me i know you want something else
something else that i am not nor i wish to be
i feel it in between your warm embrace
and your passionate kiss
i see it in between your broken smiles and empty gazes
i feel your longing, i feel it there’s no denying.

you’d probably be cursing me when you read this
oh! dear forgive me
geez i wrote a poem ’bout you again, a poem you won’t even be happy ’bout
truth is, this has long been overdue; i should have written this
the day you broke my heart, the day you crushed my grief-stricken soul
the day i died in silence, ‘cos even if i screamed for help, it was pointless
that same day i realized i could never be her.

never, because i dare to be remarkably different
and “I have untapped abilities waiting to be discovered.”

My Unpoetic Poem

My Unpoetic Poem

i could travel to faraway places
i could meet people with different faces
i may look like a teenage lass writing a piece
for trying to rhyme as i seriously cringe

truth is this may sound ridiculous maybe
but baby the world is in chaos and agony
a little something whimsical won’t be corny
to put a smile on your frowning face lately

pandemic has broken our hearts
it has toppled down our souls
as if it’s not enough, Russia has rage a war
or is it Russia really to be blamed by far?

the pains we imposed upon ourselves is even worst
it triggers emotions from beyond and outmost
self inflicted pain as you call it lately
when will it go anyway?

so tell me dear, how do i make you smile
and maybe, just maybe forget for a while
that the price of petroleum has skyrocted
your contemplating a lot and its not bad

you see i’m not really making sense at all
i wanna make you smile a bit please don’t fall
this is not a bait nor a trap or whatsoever
not even giving up my poetic soul for sure

here’s hoping my no nonsence whimsical poem
would make you happy even if you think we are doomed
so do i need to travel to far away places?
and meet people with different faces?

the answer is no ‘cos you to me is enough
to carry on and fight the battle so tough

Fear

Fear

it’s the darkest of all the nights
the wind is howling, it frights
my inner soul and my heart
call for survival in plain sight.

it’s the darkest of all the nights
the gusty wind has a chilling effect
it numbs my body, freezes my mind
call for survival, anyone be kind?

i guess its just me alone
with the night in its darkest
and the howling wind
i am petrified, frightened.

please hear my supplication.

P.S.

A poem inspired by the current war between Russia and Ukraine. And the fact that there are over a hundred displaced foriegn students in Ukraine right now. Most of them are in their 4rth year University. 😔 My heart is broken 💔

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A portion of my royalty fee for this book will go to Perak Women for Women Society. An NGO that helps and supports victims of abuse and violence. Your purchase of the book will help a woman in need of shelter, suport and therapy