Twitch

Twitch

if only i could be that one wicked witch
with vicious power to use so i could twitch
the hands of time and go back to how it was
when ours was just a love to hate or pass.

it wasn’t long ago that we made a pact
never to say goodbye regardless of the impact
of the fight, of the argument, of the disagreement
so forgive me if i don’t understand why we have come to an end.

i wish i could twitch the hands of time
back when i knew you were not mine
and all i have was just a bunch of memories
of how it used to be back in the days.

i wish i could go back in time
when i have nothing but just
a vague memory of you.

For Reena’s Exploration Challenge

Paper Planes And Paper Boats

Paper Planes And Paper Boats

your
goodbye
was all
that i needed.

to
shut
the door
close
the gate
from where
i am.

for
even with
the door
open
you’re out
somewhere
anyway.

so
let me
close it
for real
for good.

let
all our
memories
fade
away.

let
it be like
paper planes
we once played
upon the air
as a kid.

let
it be like
paper boats
we once made
which never float.

like
paper planes
and paper boats
ours was
a story so fragile
so breakable
was easily destroyed.

remember
for every
gust of wind
there was once
a paper plane.

remember
for every
puddle of water
there was once
a paper boat.

there was
once us.

For Sadje’s WDYS

It’s True

It’s True

i’ve heard it a million times

i couldn’t possibly be wrong

it keeps spinning back and forth

in my head 

in my heart

in my being.

i knew it, i couldn’t be wrong

don’t tell me i’m goin’ crazy

it keeps coming back and forth

why doesn’t the phone ring stop?

i’ve pressed all buttons.

no, i’m not delusional

no, i’m not crazy

no, i’m not paranoid

how dare you call me one

in names, i am not

i’ve heard it and i knew it to be true.

you’ve insisted it’s me being paranoid

nothing’s happening

nothing’s wrong

with the phone

or the surroundings

or the people around.

so you took your hands off me

after all, how could you possibly

be with someone whose

like me.

but really, it’s true

why doesn’t the phone ring stop?

i’ve pressed all buttons

it’s happening

you refused to believe

just as you refuse

to see where 

i am coming from 

in my agony. 

Gaslighting has become the latest emotional abuse trend. I wanted to call it a trend because I had never heard about it before.

Gaslighting, according to the dictionary, is to manipulate (someone) by psychological means into questioning their own sanity. Sounds terrible, right? But this happens to many; some don’t know their partners are gaslighting them. Unfortunately, the one gaslighting you may not also be aware of their behavior, and if they are, they refuse to believe. 

In relationships, an abusive person may use gaslighting to isolate their partner, undermine their confidence, and make them easier to control. For example, they might tell someone they are irrational until the person starts to think it must be true. Sounds familiar?

Here is an interesting article about gaslighting that might help you process or deal with the abuse and hopefully quickly leave the situation. (https://www.healthline.com/health/gaslighting)

Someone who’s gaslighting might:

  • insist you said or did things you know you didn’t do
  • deny or scoff at your recollection of events
  • call you “too sensitive” or “crazy” when you express your needs or concerns
  • express doubts to others about your feelings, behavior, and state of mind
  • twisting or retelling events to shift blame to you
  • insist they’re right and refuse to consider facts or your perspective

Signs you’ve experienced gaslighting

Experiencing gaslighting can leave you second-guessing yourself constantly, not to mention overwhelmed, confused, and uncertain about your ability to make decisions on your own.

Other key signs you’re experiencing gaslighting include:

  • an urge to apologize all the time
  • believing you can’t do anything right
  • frequent feelings of nervousness, anxiety, or worry
  • a loss of confidence
  • constantly wondering if you’re too sensitive
  • feeling disconnected from your sense of self, as if you’re losing your identity
  • believing you’re to blame when things go wrong
  • a persistent sense that something isn’t right, though you can’t identify exactly what’s wrong
  • a lingering sense of hopelessness, frustration, or emotional numbness

These feelings tend to come from what the other person says or implies about your behavior. For example:

  • “You seem so confused lately, and you keep forgetting things. I’m getting a little worried.”
  • “You know I wouldn’t say these things if I didn’t care, right?”

This mask of concern can leave you even more convinced there’s something “wrong” with you.

Gaslighting can also show up as changes in your behavior. You might find yourself:

  • making choices to please others instead of yourself
  • frequently questioning whether you said the right thing or made the right choice
  • making excuses for the person gaslighting you to family and friends
  • lying or isolating yourself from loved ones to avoid conflict
  • constantly reviewing your words and actions to make sure you’ve done everything “right”
  • spending little or no time on the activities or hobbies you used to enjoy

Why do people do it

According to Stern, people often gaslight because being right allows them to validate themselves. When gaslighters feel threatened, they need you to believe and support their version of events in order to maintain their sense of power and control.

Gaslighting can also happen when someone believes their narrative is more valid than someone else’s, says Ana De La Cruz, a licensed marriage and family therapist in Florida.

Persuading someone else to question their own reality, then, can leave them with a sense of superiority, De La Cruz explains.

It’s a Line Prompt this week.

“Why doesn’t the phone ring stop? I’ve pressed all buttons.”

I Hope You Remember

I Hope You Remember

i hope you remember the smell of the roasted coffee
in our favorite place
where millions and millions of stories from miles and miles away
where connected and bridged together over a single shot americano
and you with your favorite cafe latte overloaded with sugar
i hope you remember how our stories made coffee time
not just incredible but one hell of a kind.

i hope you remember the first coffee drive-thru we had
with me over the cloud and over the moon, trying to grasp
the feeling of finally being seated right next to you after years
and you are speechless for the first time in your life, maybe
and you can’t take your eyes off me.

i hope you remember the countless times we made our coffee cold
with me over my endless out-of-this-world story-telling spree
and you couldn’t stop laughing at all of my epic fails
which i graciously claimed to have handled so well with pride
but you’d refute it by saying, ’twas funny but humiliating.

i hope you remember how we bonded over that sweet, nutty aroma smell
with me proudly proclaiming i could live with coffee and coffee alone
and you looking disgusted and disappointed ‘cos you’d rather hear me say
i could live with you and you alone.

i hope you remember, ‘cos i will always
remember us that way
the smile, the laughter, the tears, the longing, the wanting
the passion, the love, and the hope for forever
i will always remember us that way.

for Sadje’s WDYS

Love Happens

Love Happens

i wonder how it feels to kiss you
boy, i did just as you wondered
without hesitation, without inhibitions
without second thoughts
no words, there was complete silence.

i wonder how it feels to kiss you
now you left me wondering too
‘cos little do you know that i’m in love
and petrified for the first time
and probably the last time in my life.

i wonder how it feels to kiss you
was my best memory of you
for years and years even decades after
intentionally written or a poetic bait
it doesn’t matter for i too wondered.

i wonder how it feels to kiss you
was the beginning of the end
of you wondering and me hoping
that somewhere in the middle
of the busy streets in Manila
love will finally happen.

i wonder how it feels to kiss you
it happened, you stopped wondering
i stopped hoping, ‘cos indeed no matter
what happens there is no denying
that in between our pretenses
love happens.

For David’s Weekly Prompt. i used option #2

Option #2: Write about an experience that gave you the chills, any form permitted.

Note: this is the kind of experience that gave me the best kind of chill ever.

Can You Hear It?

Can You Hear It?



can you hear the pitter-patter sounds
the rapid beats and taps of the ceiling
the mysterious progression as it expounds
into echoes of gunshots swiftly firing?


can you feel as it rumbles the ground
the fleet-footed batter pounding blow
the reverberating blast of noise around
underneath the clamor of the meadow?


can you see how strong and powerful it is
the never-ending sobbing and throbbing
the murmurs and mumbles that never cease
carefully, gently, slowly, and gradually hiding?


no. really? you don't hear a thing, my dear?
oh, maybe it's just my heart wishing you were here.


for David's Weekly Prompt, 

I used prompt no.2 Option #2: Write a Shakespearean Sonnet using iambic pentameter (mine is with some modifications.)
https://skepticskaddish.com/2022/10/12/w3-prompt-24-weave-written-weekly

Forbidden

Forbidden

i trusted you had the best life
i trust you made the best choices
but what happened, dear
what have you done?

i trusted you had the best life
i trust you chose the right path
but looking at you, dear
made me question myself.

was it wrong to give up on you?
was it wrong to let you go?
was it wrong to believe you’ll be fine without me?
was it i who made you that way?

i trusted you had the best life
i trust you took the best road
but why oh why, my dear
did you waisted the best of you?

forbidden, that’s what you
are, so i did what must be correct
or just maybe what i thought so
for, damn! look at you.

Seventeen Again

Seventeen Again

and i am seventeen again

feels like yesterday ‘though ages ago

that you gently held me by my hand

as we walked past the busy street

of the University belt’s crowded intersection

i am seventeen again with you

holding my hand for real.

and i am seventeen again

feels like yesterday ‘though decades ago

that you kissed me sweetly, framed by the door

it wasn’t Christmas no mistletoe, but we kissed

i am seventeen again with you

kissing me tenderly for real.

and i am seventeen again

feels like yesterday ‘though years ago

that we passionately shared our love

amidst the blazing Manila skyline

i am seventeen again with you

manifesting your love for real.

feels just like the first time.

for Reena’s Exploration Challenge

The word prompt for this week is

Jamais Vu

It is the opposite of Deja Vu, jamais vu involves a sense of eeriness and the observer’s impression of experiencing something for the first time, despite rationally knowing that they have experienced it before. Jamais vu is sometimes associated with certain types of aphasiaamnesia, and epilepsySource: Wikipedia

Emily

Emily

Emily, with pride 

with honor 

with admiration

i say you are the best 

and my favorite

but must you need to know

time has changed 

and we all learned

that to live is 

to be challenged

to take on the bravest

storms come what may

to step on upon 

the busy road filled 

with treacherous beings

called modern humans

with that, we strive

we survive immediately

for we acknowledged

the reality that 

when we believe

we live

we thank you 

and the Puritans

but we live today 

and in modern times

where positivity reigns 

more than ever.

For David’s Weekly Prompt, with Steven Wallace as the Poet of the Week. https://skepticskaddish.com/2022/10/05/w3-prompt-23-weave-written-weekly/

Here is Steven’s prompt guideline

 Read ‘Superiority to Fate’ by Emily Dickinson… then write a poem with no restrictions on form, rhyme, meter, etc.

‘Superiority to Fate’

Superiority to Fate

Is difficult to gain

’Tis not conferred of Any

But possible to earn

A pittance at a time

Until to Her surprise

The Soul with strict economy

Subsist till Paradise.

Hey

Hey

hey there, how’s life i haven’t seen you for a while
i’ve been sad, even mad, for all the crazy things in my life,
i’ve watched you drift away slowly, gently, and i just let it happen
is this what i really want? i ask myself
i know the answer is “no”
but damn! here i am again with my overbearing pride.

i miss your sweet smile and your tender cuddle
on your couch in front of all
not mindful what they were thinking, ‘cos all we wanna do
is tell the whole world how much love has made us feel high
and I miss your sweet kiss that late afternoon in March
with your unassuming mommy on the look.

i miss your coffee-colored milky skin
it looked so good it made me pinched you all the time
i’d do anything to touch it again, right now, right here
and this is me not mindful of my pride saying
i regret everything i said last night ‘cos the truth is
i miss you, and i miss those late afternoon cuddles and embraces
on your couch with your unassuming mommy on the look.

i swear i’d run to you the moment i’m okay, ‘cos the truth is i miss you, and i miss those crazy afternoon banters we have
over a cup of coffee with your favorite cookie on the side
i miss you, and i miss us laughing like crazy maniacs
watching our favorite t.v. show
for like a million times.

this is me begging you to take me back in time
when silence was our biggest scream of i love you
when our days were filled with moments of sweet nothings and honeyed thoughtful words
‘cos for now, our silence feels like oblivion, feels like lost in limbo
and our words cut deeper than the sharpest knife
they come in rapid fire, like work tools knives lined up ready to take on the grind
and i really miss you, and i miss those late afternoon cuddles and embraces
on your couch with your unassuming mommy on the look.

p.s.

i will be very slow in responding/commenting please bear with me. 🙏❤

For Sadje’s WDYS