What If

(I see a woman, wondering and pondering of “what if’s”  and “what might have been’s”.)

What If

what if we didn’t meet?
what if it didn’t happen?
what if our hearts did not collide?
what if our bodies did not unite?

’twas like a movie, in full production
i was the star, and you; just being you, in anticipation
you said your “hello,” i think i said “hi” in return
i felt butterflies in my stomach
i’m sure you felt them too, i bet you did,
don’t you contradict
that’s how we first met, but
what if we didn’t meet at all
that afternoon?

we were inseparable, totally connected
adjustment wasn’t needed, it was just a word
we had endless conversations and pointless arguments by the alley, on the bench,
in the street, and even in the silence
of the church where everybody’s head was bowed for meditation
that’s how we bonded, but
what if it didn’t happen,
that afternoon?

your “i love you’s” were in many different forms
sometimes it camouflaged as the meatiest, savory Filipino version of the famous spaghetti
at times, it was in the simplest form of a rock hard candy, fresh from your pocket
sealed with a kiss, or the sweetest, 
most romantic verse written
that’s how we fell in love, but
what if our hearts did not collide,
that afternoon?

remember that beautiful late afternoon?
framed by the doorway, against the dazzling sunset, you held my hand for the first time,
then, we kissed our first kiss, ’twas magic,
’twas love, ’twas pure bliss,
your kiss felt like heaven on earth
your lips on mine felt like forever
that’s how we became one, but
what if our bodies did not unite,
that afternoon?

what if we didn’t meet?
what if it didn’t happen?
what if our hearts did not collide?
what if our bodies did not unite?

will there still be, a promise of forever?

will i ever be with you in the twilight of my life
where i could lovingly lay my head on your shoulder, from dusk ’till dawn?

For Sadje’s WDYS

https://lifeafter50forwomen.com/2021/07/12/what-do-you-see-90-july-12-2021/

A Million Cry

there are over a million cries in my head
a million over tears withheld
a million more sighs left unsaid
I could cry
I could scream
I could let it all out
for the world to hear
for everyone to know
that I died, I died a million deaths
over a million more times
I agonized, in pain,
in silence
but
I didn’t
‘cos
I’d rather not
better not
.
.
I was weeping in silence
I was wailing in deep solitude
I was grieving in tranquility
.
.
I kept quiet
I kept still
.
.
until you

for Sadje’s WDY https://lifeafter50forwomen.com/2021/06/14/what-do-you-see-86-june-14-2021/