Safer

Safer

maybe i wasn’t meant to soar higher yet then
maybe, it wasn’t my time.
for no matter what i do my feet were stuck on the ground.
grounded for long. not that i am complaining. i don’t. never did.
of course it felt better to be standing firm on a solid ground.
’twas my comfort zone. for the longest time.

’till you taught to spread my wings. slowly. gently.
“one flapping of wings at a time”, you said. you told me to move upward.
against the force of gravity. even forward. and like a newborn bird,
i learned how to fly. learned how to adapt. used special features.
for my advantage.

i have learned to appreciate my own weaknesses.
i have capitalized on my strengths to stay up. defy gravity.
and like what they always say, even against all odds.
keeping my feet on the solid ground sure felt better and safe.
and flying was daunting and intimidating and God knows what else.

but the world looks better up there. the fields are greener.
the city is stunning. the night lamposts are my stars.
the honking of the cars are my soothing lullaby. the croosroads and boulevards are easier to navigate this time.
and the people, oh! they are more appealing once you’ve seen them from afar.

and my world, oh! my world is much better up here.
with you beneath my wings. with you keeping me afloat.
with you making me soar higher. fly farther. defying gravity. against all odds.
solid ground sure is safe. but i am safer up here.
with you.
the world, our world is a much better place.

Child

A child who has experienced complex trauma will have difficulty identifying, expressing, and managing emotions.

Child

i am a child of lies
and compromises
of insults
and agonizing cries
of concealed truths
and broken promises

i am a sole witness
to how a once supposed
great love story
turned into
a disgusting
and spiteful relationship

For Reena’s Exploration Challenge https://reinventionsreena.wordpress.com/2022/02/17/reenas-xploration-challenge-218/

I Wish Valentines Day Is Just Another Day

poetrybymich 💛💥💫 Happy Valentines Day dear poets and friends. 🧡 Do you ever feel that Valentines Day is just a product of our creative imagination made possible by brilliant marketing strategy?

I Wish Valentines Day Is Just Another Day

i wish Valentines Day, is just a product of the creative imagination
of poets and creatives alike
to generate monetary compenstion
and to further their pursuit of recognition and epic breakthrough
but it isn’t.

and so this day, is just another epic day reminder
“whatever happened to us?”
another day for regrets and blame throwing
“where did i go wrong?”
another day for what if’s and what could have been’s
just another day.

i wish Valentines Day, is just a product of the creative imagination
of poets and creatives alike so that i won’t be sitting here alone
counting the years and counting the times
it could have been me your celebrating Valentines Day with over romantic dinner in a fancy restaurant
but it wasn’t me.

and so this day, is just another day full of remorse and guilt
had i been brave enough to fight for my love would i ended up holding your hand today?
another day to feel sorry for all that i was and all that i failed to do
just another day.

i wish Valentines Day, is just another ordinary day
so that i don’t need to go through over and over again, feeling the pain of not being the one chosen, of not being the one loved
of not being the one you celebrated Valentines Day with, for the last years or so.

For Sadje’s https://lifeafter50forwomen.com/2022/02/14/what-do-you-see-121-february-14-2022/

What If

(I see a woman, wondering and pondering of “what if’s”  and “what might have been’s”.)

What If

what if we didn’t meet?
what if it didn’t happen?
what if our hearts did not collide?
what if our bodies did not unite?

’twas like a movie, in full production
i was the star, and you; just being you, in anticipation
you said your “hello,” i think i said “hi” in return
i felt butterflies in my stomach
i’m sure you felt them too, i bet you did,
don’t you contradict
that’s how we first met, but
what if we didn’t meet at all
that afternoon?

we were inseparable, totally connected
adjustment wasn’t needed, it was just a word
we had endless conversations and pointless arguments by the alley, on the bench,
in the street, and even in the silence
of the church where everybody’s head was bowed for meditation
that’s how we bonded, but
what if it didn’t happen,
that afternoon?

your “i love you’s” were in many different forms
sometimes it camouflaged as the meatiest, savory Filipino version of the famous spaghetti
at times, it was in the simplest form of a rock hard candy, fresh from your pocket
sealed with a kiss, or the sweetest, 
most romantic verse written
that’s how we fell in love, but
what if our hearts did not collide,
that afternoon?

remember that beautiful late afternoon?
framed by the doorway, against the dazzling sunset, you held my hand for the first time,
then, we kissed our first kiss, ’twas magic,
’twas love, ’twas pure bliss,
your kiss felt like heaven on earth
your lips on mine felt like forever
that’s how we became one, but
what if our bodies did not unite,
that afternoon?

what if we didn’t meet?
what if it didn’t happen?
what if our hearts did not collide?
what if our bodies did not unite?

will there still be, a promise of forever?

will i ever be with you in the twilight of my life
where i could lovingly lay my head on your shoulder, from dusk ’till dawn?

For Sadje’s WDYS

https://lifeafter50forwomen.com/2021/07/12/what-do-you-see-90-july-12-2021/

A Million Cry

there are over a million cries in my head
a million over tears withheld
a million more sighs left unsaid
I could cry
I could scream
I could let it all out
for the world to hear
for everyone to know
that I died, I died a million deaths
over a million more times
I agonized, in pain,
in silence
but
I didn’t
‘cos
I’d rather not
better not
.
.
I was weeping in silence
I was wailing in deep solitude
I was grieving in tranquility
.
.
I kept quiet
I kept still
.
.
until you

for Sadje’s WDY https://lifeafter50forwomen.com/2021/06/14/what-do-you-see-86-june-14-2021/