#prose – michnavs

Seventeen Again

Seventeen Again

and i am seventeen again

feels like yesterday ‘though ages ago

that you gently held me by my hand

as we walked past the busy street

of the University belt’s crowded intersection

i am seventeen again with you

holding my hand for real.

and i am seventeen again

feels like yesterday ‘though decades ago

that you kissed me sweetly, framed by the door

it wasn’t Christmas no mistletoe, but we kissed

i am seventeen again with you

kissing me tenderly for real.

and i am seventeen again

feels like yesterday ‘though years ago

that we passionately shared our love

amidst the blazing Manila skyline

i am seventeen again with you

manifesting your love for real.

feels just like the first time.

for Reena’s Exploration Challenge

https://reinventionsreena.wordpress.com/2022/10/06/reenas-xploration-challenge-251/

The word prompt for this week is

Jamais Vu

It is the opposite of Deja Vu, jamais vu involves a sense of eeriness and the observer’s impression of experiencing something for the first time, despite rationally knowing that they have experienced it before. Jamais vu is sometimes associated with certain types of aphasia, amnesia, and epilepsy. Source: Wikipedia

You

i was mesmerized by none other than your eyes so alluring, your smile so enchanting. and your lips, oh! your lips how they speak of words only you with a great mind could ever speak of.

it may sound unreasonable for some, but what else is desire if we see reason in it? what else is the power of passion if we wish it to be right from the start? and what else is love when we need a reason to fall? after all, isn’t loving the very reason for love?

my mind could always argue that my heart could only agree on how love is so strong, powerful, and true. for when it is, no amount of rational reasoning could make you even stop loving.

and for that, my dear, i could do the sweetest, the most romantic for you; the sweetest like when Rachel got off the plane for Ross of “Friends”. the most romantic as Heathcliff of “Wuthering Heights” declared that he is one in body and soul with Catherine.

i am your only Rachel, and i will definitely get off the plane for you. i am your only Catherine, and i am certainly one in body and soul with you.

i will love you with the love of the eagle to soar higher. i will love you with the love of the flowers for the sunshine. i will love you with the love of the moon for the sun. i will love you just as much as i have loved you back in the days when we were young and careless.

the birthplace of my love for you is from somewhere too far to walk, from as far away as the most unreasonable desire, the most devastating hope; a place where reason isn’t reasoned at all, and hope, no matter how devastating, remains hopeful.

For Reena’s Exploration Challenge

https://reinventionsreena.wordpress.com/2022/08/25/reenas-xploration-challenge-245/

Prompt:

“It came from somewhere too far to walk, from as far away as the most unreasonable desire, the most devastating hope.” – Sharmishtha Mohanty in Thirty two nights and dawns

👉in case you missed it my poem “Wednesdays of Longing” is nominated for Spillwords Publication of the Month, to vote for my poem kindly click this link. voting will close tomorrow Aug. 29, 2022

https://spillwords.com/vote/

These Times

i would never forget the times
i am begging for you to stay
i am grateful for those times
you left me waiting; uncertain
i know how your heart breaks
more than mine
but that taught me
love’s greatest lesson
to look beyond what eyes can see
to feel loved beyond
hugs and kisses and warm embraces
especially at times when you are near me
yet a single glimpse is not possible
these times when love is love
regardless of and no matter what
these times when love is love
even if it felt like a glassful of water
splashed, suspended in the air
not knowing when to fall
not knowing how to land
unbroken
unshattered
unhurt
these times.

For Sadje’s WDYS

https://lifeafter50forwomen.com/2022/06/27/what-do-you-see-140-27-june-2022/

Quiet Death

i stared into vacancy
seeing nothing
feeling nothing
there was numbness
a complete loss of sensation
i was breathing rapidly
sweating, trembling
feeling weak

i drank myself into oblivion
unaware of what’s happening
unconscious of what’s goin’ on
there was silence
i was agonizing
it was heart – wrenching
harrowing, racking

then there goes my quiet death

P.S

My book “After Rain Skies – second edition” (a compilation of true and inspiring stories of abuse and violence in prose and poetry) will be out March 8, 2022.

😔💔Women have the right to live free from violence. Let your voice be heard

Join me and the rest of the world in spreading awareness and putting an end to the culture of abuse and violence

https://lifeafter50forwomen.com/2022/02/28/what-do-you-see-123-february-28th-2021/

Silent War (After Rain Skies, Second Edition)

Silent War

No one doubts that you’re in pain when you’re walking around bleeding. You’re lucky, if someone believes you’re hurt, without you having to forcibly cut off an arm.

Naira was fine. She was perfect. There wasn’t a scratch on her. She was just about to throw herself off the top of a high-rise, that was all. And what was so special about that?

Everyone had problems. Anyone who thought their problems deserved attention just wasn’t trying hard enough to solve them. Right?

War was hard. Poverty was hard. Going out to break you’re back trying to make money was hard. But when “war is at the doorstep, what do you expect to do?” Stand still and be quiet?

Marriage? You couldn’t possibly be complaining about being married. You wanted to be married, didn’t you? Learning your partner’s personality, his tendencies, his flaws. That was your responsibility, wasn’t it?

No one asks for international tensions. No one leaves his mother’s womb asking Allah to make him poor. But you, you made a choice, gave a vow. It was a commitment no one forced you into. You deal with it.

He never even hit you. Why are you unhappy? Others have it worse, Naira. Other women get new bruises every day. Do you see them leaving their husbands? That’s right.

You deal with the yelling. And the things he says. In front of your parents, in front of your brothers and sisters, in front of your co-workers. What was the worst they could do anyway? They were just words.

See, you’re fine. Naira, you’re perfect. Not a scratch on you. In all of ten years, not a bruise on you. And—

You’re tired. And that’s okay. You did everything you could.

It’s time to make yourself well.

All relationships lie somewhere in the middle of healthy and unhealthy at any given time. That’s why it’s important to identify the patterns and behaviors of our own relationships. Because relationships that visit the unhealthy area one too many instances tend to like to stay there.

For Reena’s

https://reinventionsreena.wordpress.com/2022/02/24/reenas-xploration-challenge-219/

“After Rain Skies” (a compilation of true and inspiring stories of abuse and violence) will be out in all platforms worldwide on MARCH 8, 2022.

After Rain Skies (second edition)

poetrybymich 🥺Women have the right to live free from violence. Let your voice be heard

💛After Rain Skies (second edition) – Releasing March 8, 2022) 💛

Kayla would have been just a manufactured memory to her family, friends, and children, had she not taken the courage to walk away from her abusive husband.

She found out she could leave only after he tried to kill her.

Let there be no more Kayla, let every woman live a life they deserve.

Together let us join the rest of the world in celebrating the hero in every woman, this MARCH 2022

Yes! There’s no place for complacency.

Sadly though none of us will probably witness the end of the culture of violence in our lifetimes, and nor likely will many of our children.

But, we can all play a part.

Women have the right to live free from violence.

Let your voice be heard

Mia @ 18

Nothing beats the pain of losing yourself to somebody you barely even know. Nothing beats the pain of crying when you know it isn’t enough. Nothing beats the pain of wanting to die when you know death may not even be the answer.

Mia was your regular College girl. Pretty, charming, and smart. When everyone else thought it was a blessing, Mia later realized, it was rather a curse. For it was that same pretty and charming face that brought her to her agonizing situation.

Raped at 18.

And was forced to mature at such a young age.

Mia couldn’t actually recall the details anymore. Or maybe she chose to forget. Or maybe, forgetting was her way of coping.

Did forgetting help? Maybe yes, maybe no. One thing was sure though, it helped her moved on.

She intentionally forgot even the face of her perpetrator, the man who took away her innocence, the man who gave her endless nights of crying alone, and the man who at some point made her want to end her life.

But, forgetting helped. And oh, there was one more.

Her silence.

She never spoke about the abuse, to anybody, to anyone.

She kept her silence for so long. And yes, for some reasons and probably by the grace of God, her silence helped her forget and eventually moved on.

Now, years after, she chose to speak up. And why, now? Because she has found her peace now, and in her peace, she can better narrate her story and empower young women.

She promised herself, that she will devote her time, her expertise, and her resources to help victims of abuse and violence cope and survive.

And yes, Mia moved on; but she was never healed. Moving on, is entirely different from healing. Mia realized this by helping fellow victims.

Mia, is a victim, helping other victims.

Mia is healing by helping.

Erin’s Story

Things that break on earth don’t reach the clouds above us. Burning villages don’t change the schedule of sunsets. And stars remain stars, no matter how much land we destroy.

But when the sky loses all of its lights and unleashes a thunderstorm, everything drowns.

Erin was a vibrant, happy, and joyful woman. To her many boyfriends, all of whom mistreated her verbally and physically, she was patient. To Sufi, she was a great human being and an even better friend.

To herself, Erin was unfair.

She grew up believing she only deserved the kind of love that did nothing but hurt her. And Sufi watched her pick partner after partner that mentally burned her out and repeatedly destroyed her heart.

Still, Erin’s aspirations, inspiration, imagination, wonder, dreams, pursuits, creative brilliance, her magic, remained bright as stars on a cloudless evening, always. Until they didn’t.

Abuse is not at all clear cut. But Sufi remembered with perfect clarity when her best friend lost the sparkle in her eyes.

First, the silence. Even though marrying the love of your life should be a nervous, excited, rambunctious affair.

Then, the realization of her colleagues that Erin was living with a man who was comfortable with sending his wife to work with bruises and a black eye.

And the dark understanding of the weight of Erin having a son, and nowhere to go that felt safe enough to risk her husband following them and breaking them worse than he would if they stayed put.

Sufi suffered watching her, but all everyone that genuinely loved Erin could do was love her until she began loving herself enough to see that she too was deserving of better treatment.

It took years, and all their support, and the kind of bravery you only learn while trying to fight through a thunderstorm, but Erin gained the self-respect she needed to leave the one that was drowning her light.

Coming home should be the safest thing we ever do in this life. Where we lay our heads at night should be where monsters will not reach us. And yet, so many find themselves making homes with monsters instead.

You can read more of true and inspiring stories of abuse and violence from my book “After Rain Skies”, available via KOBO.COM

Let Your Voice Be Heard

Aisha was the wife of a man who disappeared not long after their marriage. In his place came a husband who thought always hurting the woman he had promised to care for was the best way to be one.

By the time they had a son, Aisha had to give up waiting for the person she fell in love with to come back. She had to set aside the nightmare of a possibility that that person might never even have existed because she had an 18-month old infant who had just been thrown by his father into a rose bush and who didn’t know how to defend himself.

For Aisha, enough was enough. For the safety of her baby, just a divorce would not be enough. There had to be no contact between the innocent and the guilty. Violence was a choice her husband continued to make, and she was taking a stand to prevent any more of it.

Courts, unfortunately, don’t always make this easy. She needed the assistance of a brilliant lawyer to keep social workers from making her share her son’s life with a parent who kept trying to ruin it, the testimony of the family physician to prove there was actually abuse, and resilience that she was slowly running out of to keep going.

The months of having no one believe her did not make it easy, but there were good people along the way too. And, by Christmas, with their help, Aisha had full custody of her son and a well-earned chance at a kinder life for them both.

Women have the right to live free from violence.

Let your voice be heard

Read more true and inspiring stories of abuse and violence in my book “After Rain Skies” available via KOBO.COM

Rest

“not because you’re holding on to the
light doesn’t mean you are out of the darkness.”

Because not all lights are bound to illuminate your way. Not all good is beautiful, and that not all beautiful is good as well. Just as how you thought you’ve made the best choices, made the best decisions, and made the best and smartest moves. And, then reality hits you – you were wrong. So wrong.

Regrets filled you in.

Sorrow captured your soul.

Despair engulfed your heart.

You were supposed to be in a top-notch condition by now. Given how smart you are. Given how talented you are. And given how kind of a person you are.

What happened? What went wrong?

You don’t need to answer. It’s enough to break my heart to see you like that.

Worn out.

Exhausted.

Fatigued.

Drained.

I don’t need to know.

But know you can rest your weary heart on me.

https://lifeafter50forwomen.com/2020/10/26/what-do-you-see-53-26-october20/