#prose – michnavs

Mia @ 18

Nothing beats the pain of losing yourself to somebody you barely even know. Nothing beats the pain of crying when you know it isn’t enough. Nothing beats the pain of wanting to die when you know death may not even be the answer.

Mia was your regular College girl. Pretty, charming, and smart. When everyone else thought it was a blessing, Mia later realized, it was rather a curse. For it was that same pretty and charming face that brought her to her agonizing situation.

Raped at 18.

And was forced to mature at such a young age.

Mia couldn’t actually recall the details anymore. Or maybe she chose to forget. Or maybe, forgetting was her way of coping.

Did forgetting help? Maybe yes, maybe no. One thing was sure though, it helped her moved on.

She intentionally forgot even the face of her perpetrator, the man who took away her innocence, the man who gave her endless nights of crying alone, and the man who at some point made her want to end her life.

But, forgetting helped. And oh, there was one more.

Her silence.

She never spoke about the abuse, to anybody, to anyone.

She kept her silence for so long. And yes, for some reasons and probably by the grace of God, her silence helped her forget and eventually moved on.

Now, years after, she chose to speak up. And why, now? Because she has found her peace now, and in her peace, she can better narrate her story and empower young women.

She promised herself, that she will devote her time, her expertise, and her resources to help victims of abuse and violence cope and survive.

And yes, Mia moved on; but she was never healed. Moving on, is entirely different from healing. Mia realized this by helping fellow victims.

Mia, is a victim, helping other victims.

Mia is healing by helping.

Erin’s Story

Things that break on earth don’t reach the clouds above us. Burning villages don’t change the schedule of sunsets. And stars remain stars, no matter how much land we destroy.

But when the sky loses all of its lights and unleashes a thunderstorm, everything drowns.

Erin was a vibrant, happy, and joyful woman. To her many boyfriends, all of whom mistreated her verbally and physically, she was patient. To Sufi, she was a great human being and an even better friend.

To herself, Erin was unfair.

She grew up believing she only deserved the kind of love that did nothing but hurt her. And Sufi watched her pick partner after partner that mentally burned her out and repeatedly destroyed her heart.

Still, Erin’s aspirations, inspiration, imagination, wonder, dreams, pursuits, creative brilliance, her magic, remained bright as stars on a cloudless evening, always. Until they didn’t.

Abuse is not at all clear cut. But Sufi remembered with perfect clarity when her best friend lost the sparkle in her eyes.

First, the silence. Even though marrying the love of your life should be a nervous, excited, rambunctious affair.

Then, the realization of her colleagues that Erin was living with a man who was comfortable with sending his wife to work with bruises and a black eye.

And the dark understanding of the weight of Erin having a son, and nowhere to go that felt safe enough to risk her husband following them and breaking them worse than he would if they stayed put.

Sufi suffered watching her, but all everyone that genuinely loved Erin could do was love her until she began loving herself enough to see that she too was deserving of better treatment.

It took years, and all their support, and the kind of bravery you only learn while trying to fight through a thunderstorm, but Erin gained the self-respect she needed to leave the one that was drowning her light.

Coming home should be the safest thing we ever do in this life. Where we lay our heads at night should be where monsters will not reach us. And yet, so many find themselves making homes with monsters instead.

You can read more of true and inspiring stories of abuse and violence from my book “After Rain Skies”, available via KOBO.COM

Let Your Voice Be Heard

Aisha was the wife of a man who disappeared not long after their marriage. In his place came a husband who thought always hurting the woman he had promised to care for was the best way to be one.

By the time they had a son, Aisha had to give up waiting for the person she fell in love with to come back. She had to set aside the nightmare of a possibility that that person might never even have existed because she had an 18-month old infant who had just been thrown by his father into a rose bush and who didn’t know how to defend himself.

For Aisha, enough was enough. For the safety of her baby, just a divorce would not be enough. There had to be no contact between the innocent and the guilty. Violence was a choice her husband continued to make, and she was taking a stand to prevent any more of it.

Courts, unfortunately, don’t always make this easy. She needed the assistance of a brilliant lawyer to keep social workers from making her share her son’s life with a parent who kept trying to ruin it, the testimony of the family physician to prove there was actually abuse, and resilience that she was slowly running out of to keep going.

The months of having no one believe her did not make it easy, but there were good people along the way too. And, by Christmas, with their help, Aisha had full custody of her son and a well-earned chance at a kinder life for them both.

Women have the right to live free from violence.

Let your voice be heard

Read more true and inspiring stories of abuse and violence in my book “After Rain Skies” available via KOBO.COM

Rest

“not because you’re holding on to the
light doesn’t mean you are out of the darkness.”

Because not all lights are bound to illuminate your way. Not all good is beautiful, and that not all beautiful is good as well. Just as how you thought you’ve made the best choices, made the best decisions, and made the best and smartest moves. And, then reality hits you – you were wrong. So wrong.

Regrets filled you in.

Sorrow captured your soul.

Despair engulfed your heart.

You were supposed to be in a top-notch condition by now. Given how smart you are. Given how talented you are. And given how kind of a person you are.

What happened? What went wrong?

You don’t need to answer. It’s enough to break my heart to see you like that.

Worn out.

Exhausted.

Fatigued.

Drained.

I don’t need to know.

But know you can rest your weary heart on me.

https://lifeafter50forwomen.com/2020/10/26/what-do-you-see-53-26-october20/

Unlike Anyone Else

I kept your love
close to my heart
and held gently in my hand
in the tenderness of my palm
in the comfort of my body
I love you, unlike anyone else
or anything else
it is with the same love
that I hope they will love you back
love you back for all of the many good reasons
like when they wake up in the morning
with all, of the glorious morning sunshine
bathing them all over
and upon that same sunshine
rain slowly drizzle
giving life to all and everyone
and when its over,
a touch of colorful rainbow
gaze upon them
giving them hope
for a better and brighter day
and even with the thunderstorms
and floods and earthquakes
that may soon come,
they will still love you
and hold you gently
in their loving arms
knowing that one day
one day soon
it will surely be over
and once again
love will be uniquely shared
for now,
until then,