My Saga Continuous Part 4 (The Little Prince and Old Town Ipoh)

“You can only see clearly through your heart”
– Fox, The Little Prince-

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My third daughter, Allana gave me an illustrated version, hardbound copy of the book ” THE LITTLE PRINCE”.

It was so sweet of her to do that.

The Little Prince taught us that life is only worth living when it is lived for others, not for oneself and that it is important to look beneath the surface to find the real truth and meaning of a thing. It is the fox who teaches the Prince to see with one’s heart instead of just with one’s eyes.

Apart from that, “The Little Prince” taught me three valuable lessons in life.

1. SELF – DISCIPLINE

‘“It’s a just a question of self-discipline,” the little prince explained later. “First thing in the morning you look after yourself, you brush your teeth and wash your face, don’t you? Well, the second thing you must do is to look after the planet.”’

The Little Prince lives on his asteroid in peace, taking care of his volcanoes and watching his sunsets.

Do we get annoyed over the little and repetitive things that we are bound to do regularly?

How do we take care of the things that we have and the people around us?

Reading and writing require a lot of self-discipline. Over the years I learned that in reading you appreciate the value of “waiting” that eventually taught me to be more disciplined. When reading, I do not open the last page and sneak on the ending unless I read through all the pages. I wait patiently until the last page.  I also learned that reading will help us practice daily habits of discipline. Like for example, I do not jump on the next book unless I am done with the current book I read. Even though I must admit that certain books may not really be interesting at first, and you just want to simply drop it. But, no, don’t – every book no matter what it is bound to teach us a lesson or two.

Writing on the other hand taught me to value, appreciate, and take care of the things and the people around me. As I write carefully, I am as well very careful about how I treat people around especially my loved ones. I do not speak ill easily from them. My father used to tell me “if you have nothing good to say, just keep quiet”.

My children and I share the same passion and love for reading and writing. That may be the reason they have stayed grounded and disciplined despite all the challenges every single youth faces.

It would be really wise to teach our kids to love reading and be passionate about it.

We discovered an amazing bookstore last Sunday as we took another round of stroll in Old Town Ipoh.

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Its “heaven on earth”  for book lovers like us. It used to be a bank back in the ’80s, and the shop has retained its original structure and even utilized the vaults as bookshelves.

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And to my surprise, they are cheaper than most bookstores around, (mostly by 50%, I wonder why). I can stay there all day long and I wouldn’t mind.

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They also house an amazing collection of specialized artworks, which is very interesting and pleasing to all lovers of art.

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2. DON’T BE QUICK TO JUDGE OTHERS

‘“[My rose] filled me with her fragrance, she had brought joy to my life. I should never leave her. I should have recognized what a sensitive sweet soul there was under all her rather silly games.’”

Do we judge others based on what they say rather than what they do?
We are quick to judge people based on their appearance. But as I fell in love with Old Town Ipoh on my second visit, I realized that the popular saying “the first impression is lasting” may not always be true. It is therefore imperative that we take a second look at people before we create an impression about them on our minds. The Little Prince, was very quick to judge the Rose, but it was only when he left his planet that he realized how precious the Rose is for him;  and that no matter how many roses there would be in other planets, his Rose would only be the one made for him.

Do we need to wait until we lost the ones we love before we realize how much they mean to us and how much we need them in our lives?

Or are we so quick in judging others that we lose the chance of meeting and being with wonderful people who may help us get through life?

I had the chance to finally meet one of the founders of PERAK WOMEN FOR WOMEN SOCIETY over the weekend.
We discussed my upcoming project ( which I will announce here very soon) with them and in support of the foundation.
She is a very nice and amiable woman who’s heart is in for helping victims of violence and somehow ending it.

We live in a fast-paced world that helping others may be the least of our concern now, but Ms. Yip, is probably an exception, as she devotes most of her time running the foundation. This warms my heart. We still have people around who genuinely believe in giving and sharing, and that there is hope for humanity.

Living in a foreign country may be deemed to be very difficult at first.  We have to adjust to the culture and its people. And I just thought if I judge people so quickly here I would have probably missed one of the best opportunities I would have in my life: share my gift of words to those who truly need it.

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The PWWS shop has been transformed into an amazing and colorful shop as they are soon to touch down on the ONE MILLION STAR.

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It feels so good knowing in my heart that I am part of greater advocacy and endeavor.

A Sunday walk in Old Town Ipoh for the second time around has made me appreciate the place even more and witness its hidden beauty and treasure.

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My meeting  (details of the meeting will be posted soon) with Ms. Yip ended on a very beautiful note as I took another stroll along Old Town Ipoh.

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I discovered special gems like this local artist who creates beautiful tiny miniature houses.

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There is also a “MINIATURE WONDERS ART GALLERY” which houses handmade three – dimensional miniature artworks depicting the OLD CHINA. It has “Terracotta Warriors and Horses”, “Tang Dynasty Royal Banquet”, “Along the River During the Qingming Festival”, and a lot more.

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“Tang Dynasty Royal Banquet”

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There is also a fancy tattoo shop in the corner.

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3. RELATIONSHIPS MATTER (In fact it makes life worth living)

‘“What exactly does ‘tamed’ mean?”

“Well, it’s something too often forgotten,” said the fox. “I suppose it means: to make some kind of relationship.”

“Relationship?”

“Yes,” said the fox. “I’ll explain. To me, you are just a little boy like any other, like a hundred thousand other little boys. I have no need of you and you have no need of me. To you, I am a fox-like any other, like a hundred thousand other foxes. But if you tame me, you and I, we will have created a relationship, and so we will need one another. You will be unique in the world for me… If you were to tame me, my whole life would be so much more fun. I would come to know the sound of your footstep, and it would be different from all the others. At the sound of any other footstep, I would be down in my hole in the earth as quick as you like. But your footstep would be like music to my ears, and I would come running up out of my hole, quick as you like.”

What kind of relationships do we have? How are we as a partner? Wife? Husband? Son? Daughter? (etc)

Relationships really do matter. It’s vital and important as we live our lives. And it is with this thought that I continue to support PWWS’s project “ONE MILLION STARS TO END VIOLENCE”. The deadline for the stars would be on October 31, 2019.

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My Saga Continuous

My Saga on my awareness campaign against Violence continuous as i explore the possible reasons why abused women chose to stay in an abusive relationship.

 

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Over a cup of coffee, i relentlessly write with my heart bleeding remembering each and every victim of violence out there.

 

you are poised and elegant
they admire you for that
you speak of love and compassion
they adore you for that
underneath it all
is a soul crumbling and struggling

your smile is contagious
they like you for that
you are charming and inspiring
they emulate you for that
underneath it all
are million pieces of forgotten dreams and broken promises

you are a silent victim
of violence
masquerading
in a beautiful shadow of living

Written for calmkate’s Friday fun -Contadictions
https://aroused.blog/2019/07/13/friday-fun-contradiction/

The contradictions in the life of an abused woman.  Hiding the pains, the agonies and the traumas; in between smiles and hellos and coping up and not breaking down.

Some may have questioned the sanity of an abused woman who tried to stay in a relationship despite of the violence she is experiencing.

In 2014 NFL linebacker Ray Rice knocked his fiancée Janay Palmer unconscious in an elevator.  He was then accused of domestic violence and suspended for two games. After a few weeks, he was formally charged, but  to the surprise of everybody he and Palmer were married the next day.

There was a security video of the event that surfaced, and quickly went viral.
Janay Palmer was knocked down and dragged out of the elevator by Rice.

Plot twist, Janay Palmer, the beaten knocked and dragged fiance, spoke out in defense of her then husband. In a press conference she apologized and said: “I deeply regret the role I played that night”.
She posted on instagram  “Just know we will continue to grow & show the world what real love is,” and asked everybody to stop judging her husband.

This triggered the public’s view over abused women. The public  could not understand how Palmer could be standing by her man.

People began to question her sanity, innocence, and motives.

Why would she stay with him, let alone defend Rice who had knocked her unconscious? What was wrong with Janay Palmer that she would do this?

Why can’t an abused victim simply walk away?

According to Jason B. Whiting, PhD, LMFT is a Professor of Marriage and Family Therapy at Texas Tech University there are 8 reasons why an abused victim choose to stay.

1. Distorted Thoughts.

Being controlled and hurt is traumatizing, and this leads to confusion, doubts, and even self-blame. Perpetrators harass and accuse victims, which wears them down and causes despair and guilt.

2. Damaged Self-Worth.

Related was the damage to the self that is the result of degrading treatment. Many women felt beaten down and of no value.

3. Fear.

The threat of bodily and emotional harm is powerful, and abusers use this to control and keep women trapped.

4. Wanting to be a Savior.

Many described a desire to help, or love their partners with the hopes that they could change them.

5. Children.

These women also put their children first, sacrificing their own safety.
6. Family Expectations and Experiences.

Many posted descriptions of how past experiences with violence distorted their sense of self or of healthy relationships.

7. Financial Constraints.

Many referred to financial limitations, and these were often connected to caring for children.

8. Isolation.

A common tactic of manipulative partners is to separate their victim from family and friends.
Source: Institute for Family Studies. Retrieved from https://ifstudies.org/blog/eight-reasons-women-stay-in-abusive-relationships

Posted in support of Perak Women for Women Society
The PWW Centre
15 Market Street
30000 Ipoh
Tel : 05-2469715

https://www.facebook.com/PerakWomenforWomen/

https://www.facebook.com/1MillionStars/
The Reasons mentioned above are just few of the many possible reasons there could be for staying in an abusive relationship.

So, if you are a victim and are afraid to speak up feel free to provide me with your comment below. I guarantee you that I will protect your privacy.

LET’S TALK;  It may HELP you!!!

How Much Longer

How Much Longer
You lost your voice
Upon his roaring thunder
Of growing ego

As you lost your consciousness
Over his vicious hands.
How much longer of the sound you
need to bear deaf in the truth of torture and agony?
You lost your thought
In every scorn, you hear
From the sound
Of his nasty outrage
An abomination.
How much longer of the blunders you need to take to run away and seek for help?
You lost your smile
For every word
He utters is a knife
That cuts off the very essence
Of your being
How much longer of a smile can you hold
To unfold the truth that you are suffering silently?

 

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Written for VJ’s weekly challenge

Dear victims of VIOLENCE speak up use your language to be heard and to get help
Dedicated to all women who are silent victims of violence. SPEAK UP. https://onewomansquest.org/2019/07/08/v-j-s-weekly-challenge-56-language/

“We need language to tell us who we are, how we feel, what we’re capable of – to explain the pains and glory of our existence.”

– MAYA ANGELOU

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Inspired by my recent visit to Old Town Ipoh, where I happened to drop by in a shop, of all its proceeds will be used to help/assist victims of violence particularly women.

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Violence includes domestic abuse, sexual assault, verbal and emotional abuse.  Violence and abuse can cause physical and emotional problems that will last long even after the abuse happened. If you’ve experienced violence or abuse, it is never your fault, and you can get help. There are several organizations worldwide that aim and help victims of abuse.

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In particular, this shop is helping the “Perak Women for Women Society” organization. So if ever you are around this area visit the shop and your single purchase can go a long way.

The United Nations defines violence against women as “any act of gender-based violence that results in, or is likely to result in, physical, sexual, or mental harm or suffering to women, including threats of such acts, coercion or arbitrary deprivation of liberty, whether occurring in public or in private life.”