How Christmas Should Be

How Christmas Should Be

i can hear the sleigh bells ringing
just as the doors are slowly closing
for the vagabonds across the street
praying for a magical Christmas treat.

i can see the snowflakes falling
just as homes are shaking
for all the war zone cities
hoping for a peaceful Christmas.

i can feel the gust of wind blowing
just as dreams are gradually dying
for victims of abuse and violence
wishing for a lovely Christmas chance.

i can smell the midnight coffee brewing
just as the elderly people are crying
on a cold winter night in the home for the aged
wishing they were with their loved ones on Christmas eve.

i can taste the burnt cheesecake in my mouth, melting
just as the egos and pride are concluding
for friends and families joyfully reunited
celebrating Christmas with love and gratitude.

P.S

The festive mood of the photo reminds me of the forthcoming Christmas and what would it be like to those who are less fortunate and in great despair.

For Sadje’s WDY

I Pray

I Pray

Ukraine and Russia are still at war
for months and maybe years more
children are no longer out to play
i bow down and pray it won’t stay.

war ruined communities and families
disrupts economic fabric of nations
creates long term harm to people
reduction in human and material capital.

war is never the answer to a dispute
it’s never the solution nor absolute
i hope one day we’d be happy and gay
i bow down in supplication and pray.

Iran sentenced 15k protesters to death
of “enmity against God” and “spreading
corruption on earth”
a punishment for not being obedient
or simply being an oppressive tyrant?

tyranny is at most harsh and  cruel
prevents people from reaching full potential
i hope one day we’d live freely
i bow down in plea and pray.

more than the war in Ukraine
and the tyranny in Iran
we all rage our own wars
we all are silent tyrants.

these kind of wars are even more dangerous
it destroy self worth, dreams and ambitions
the tyrants among us are more oppressive
it put a death sentence to all that we hope and
we believe.

i bow down in supplication and pray
we find inner peace one day.

For Sadje’s WDYS

I Hope You Remember

I Hope You Remember

i hope you remember the smell of the roasted coffee
in our favorite place
where millions and millions of stories from miles and miles away
where connected and bridged together over a single shot americano
and you with your favorite cafe latte overloaded with sugar
i hope you remember how our stories made coffee time
not just incredible but one hell of a kind.

i hope you remember the first coffee drive-thru we had
with me over the cloud and over the moon, trying to grasp
the feeling of finally being seated right next to you after years
and you are speechless for the first time in your life, maybe
and you can’t take your eyes off me.

i hope you remember the countless times we made our coffee cold
with me over my endless out-of-this-world story-telling spree
and you couldn’t stop laughing at all of my epic fails
which i graciously claimed to have handled so well with pride
but you’d refute it by saying, ’twas funny but humiliating.

i hope you remember how we bonded over that sweet, nutty aroma smell
with me proudly proclaiming i could live with coffee and coffee alone
and you looking disgusted and disappointed ‘cos you’d rather hear me say
i could live with you and you alone.

i hope you remember, ‘cos i will always
remember us that way
the smile, the laughter, the tears, the longing, the wanting
the passion, the love, and the hope for forever
i will always remember us that way.

for Sadje’s WDYS

I Relinquish

I Relinquish

my years of restless nights
the pain i hide inside
the smile i keep
to camouflage
with the scars, i nurture
i relinquish
to the universe to
carry the burden
so heavy.
every single spark of hope
i carry around
that keeps me goin’,
i relinquish
to the moon and back
and let the sunshine
take away all my pain
let the moonlight
cast upon all my sorrows.
i relinquish
i surrender
i’m done.
and so maybe, just maybe
if you give me a call
i sure would surrender
to love’s final call
for i would not want anything
but you.
i surrender.

for Sadje’s WDYS

Hey

Hey

hey there, how’s life i haven’t seen you for a while
i’ve been sad, even mad, for all the crazy things in my life,
i’ve watched you drift away slowly, gently, and i just let it happen
is this what i really want? i ask myself
i know the answer is “no”
but damn! here i am again with my overbearing pride.

i miss your sweet smile and your tender cuddle
on your couch in front of all
not mindful what they were thinking, ‘cos all we wanna do
is tell the whole world how much love has made us feel high
and I miss your sweet kiss that late afternoon in March
with your unassuming mommy on the look.

i miss your coffee-colored milky skin
it looked so good it made me pinched you all the time
i’d do anything to touch it again, right now, right here
and this is me not mindful of my pride saying
i regret everything i said last night ‘cos the truth is
i miss you, and i miss those late afternoon cuddles and embraces
on your couch with your unassuming mommy on the look.

i swear i’d run to you the moment i’m okay, ‘cos the truth is i miss you, and i miss those crazy afternoon banters we have
over a cup of coffee with your favorite cookie on the side
i miss you, and i miss us laughing like crazy maniacs
watching our favorite t.v. show
for like a million times.

this is me begging you to take me back in time
when silence was our biggest scream of i love you
when our days were filled with moments of sweet nothings and honeyed thoughtful words
‘cos for now, our silence feels like oblivion, feels like lost in limbo
and our words cut deeper than the sharpest knife
they come in rapid fire, like work tools knives lined up ready to take on the grind
and i really miss you, and i miss those late afternoon cuddles and embraces
on your couch with your unassuming mommy on the look.

p.s.

i will be very slow in responding/commenting please bear with me. 🙏❤

For Sadje’s WDYS

In Heaven

In Heaven

i never got the chance
to see you smile
but i got you a name
i never got to know
how you would become
but i know you’d be great
i never got to hear you speak
but i know you’d be perfect
in everything you’d wanna be.

i never got to embrace you hello
for i had to let you go
before you even know
the world outside
is waiting for you
but He has other plans
so i just hope one day
i get to see you smile
i get to call you
by the name i chose
i get to hear you speak
and give you
the most endearing
embrace.

one day soon
in heaven we will be.

if you are a regular to my blog you would know that apart from abuse and violence i am also creating awareness on mothers/women experiencing loss of a child during pregnancy or in most common term;  miscarriage. i’ve written poems about miscarriage and how women should have the much needed support during this time. we all know that miscarriage is something we don’t usually talk about and at the same time we also know that these mothers/women are hurting and grieving inside.

recently, i came across articles and stories of women experiencing ectopic pregnancies.

according to  https://www.mayoclinic.org  an ectopic pregnancy occurs when a fertilized egg implants and grows outside the main cavity of the uterus. an ectopic pregnancy most often occurs in a fallopian tube, which carries eggs from the ovaries to the uterus. this type of ectopic pregnancy is called a tubal pregnancy.

sadly though a baby almost never survives an ectopic pregnancy. there have been extremely rare and unusual cases in which a baby has survived, but the odds are 1 to 3 million. these few cases typically happen outside the fallopian tubes in the abdominal cavity where blood supply is rich(https://lifelinepregnancyhelp.org ). these cases unknown to us many is also very heartbreaking for mothers, knowing that there is a growing child is something to celebrate and yet, at some point you have to decide whether or not to take the risk and go on with the pregnancy and let nature takes its course or do what’s suppose to be medically appropriate for both the mother and the child.

the dilemma now for the mother is : will she wait until it dissolves naturally? what if it doesn’t will she take on the suggestion of the medical experts to take on what is medically appropriate yet heartbreaking?

For Sadje’s WDYS

Slumber

Slumber

wake me up when you’re back
tuck me slowly carefully as i pack
memories over rainbow colored sack
when the world was kind no crack.

wake me up when you’re certain
gather bits and pieces of rain
my heart is flooded let it drain
blood oozing in agony in pain.

wake me up
wake my heart up
wake my mind up
wake my body up.

from this deep dark slumber
wake me up.

for Sadje’s WDYS

What If We Didn’t Lose Them? (A flash fiction)

What If We Didn’t Lose Them? (A flash fiction)

“If we didn’t lose them, would you fight for our love?

I don’t know if we would have had a boy or a girl, but  I hope they were boys ‘cos it would really be great to have cute little guys running around the house. They’d probably be each other’s best friends, fighting and defending each other,
poking jokes, and making fun of each other.

I wonder how they would be when they grow up together. Will they be rowdy, noisy, and disorderly? I wonder how we will be as parents to our little boys? I probably would be the spoiler and give it all, mom, and you would take on the role of a disciplinarian dad.

Maybe, we will be the best our boys could ever have. I am sure we will be.

Sadly, we’ll never know, for we lost them before we even knew.

Do you think we’d lose each other if we didn’t lose them? If we didn’t lose them, do you think we’d survive all the trials we would encounter? Do you think we’ll still be together if we didn’t lose them?

Now, I pause and wonder. Are they happy in heaven knowing we’ve parted ways?

If we didn’t lose them, would you fight for our love?

Rivers of Tears

Rivers of Tears

shed a million rivers of tears ‘cos i’m missing you, dear

there are times when holding on doesn’t anymore count on

so i took refuge and snug on at the comfort of what i could embrace right now

because for now, it’s all that i have and nothing else

nothing else can make me stop and shed a million rivers of tears.

what would you do if i say it’s killin’ me to be out here somewhere

where i lay my head at night silently sobbing for it’s in your arms, i wanna be

what would you say to my grieving heart

what would you do to make me stop

shed a million rivers of tears?

all i can do is hold on here to something i don’t know what

all i can do is hang on to the thinnest piece of thread that’s connecting us

all i can do is believe in the mere fact that i love you and that love alone will help me make it through

all i can do is trust in the process and the power of the universe

all i can do is hope for a future where there won’t be a distant mile away between you and me.

but for now, my dear, let me shed a million rivers of tears

for that’s the best i can do to lull myself to bed and wish for a goodnight’s sleep

shed a million rivers of tears

’till it’s over.

for Sadje’s WDYS