On Rape Culture

November 25 is the International Day for the Elimination of Violence Against Women

Call it out when you see it:

❌Abuse
❌Catcalling
❌Sexist jokes
❌Unwelcome behaviour
❌Inappropriate sexual comments

Violence against women comes in many forms, and one of the most widespread yet less talked about is sexual harassment.

Sexual harassment is never okay. Regardless of the circumstances. When one is raped; she is raped, no other word to say it. No other explaination why it happened. And I don’t understand how other people could even afford to blame the victim for being raped.

Our society has come up with reasons why some women are raped. And sadly the “rape culture” is being normalized these days.

Rape Culture is an environment in which rape is prevalent and in which sexual violence against women is normalized and excused in the media and popular culture. As if these are not enough; rape culture affects everywoman.

The rape of just one woman creates terror and fear to all women. Most women and girls limit their behavior because of the existence of rape. Men, in general, do not. That’s how rape functions as a powerful means by which the whole female population is held in a subordinate position to the whole male population, even though many men don’t rape, and many women are never victims of rape.  This cycle of fear is the legacy of Rape Culture.

Blantant Examples of Rape Culture

• Victim Blaming (“It’s her fault; she asked for it!”)

• Normalizing sexual assault (“Boys will be boys; it has always been like that”)

• Making/laughing/enjoying sexually explicit jokes

• Publicly scrutinizing a victim’s dress, mental state, motives, and history

• Abuse and violence in movies and television

• Defining “manhood” as dominant and sexually aggressive

• Defining “womanhood” as submissive and sexually passive

• Assuming only promiscuous women get raped

• Refusing to take rape accusations seriously

• Teaching women to avoid getting raped instead of teaching men not to rape

• Not reporting or talking about being raped to protect the credibility and sanity of the vicrim’s family

• The victim chosing to keep her silence; because why not? She will become easy target of victim blaming and shaming by the society.

Regardless of the woman’s circumstances, characteristics, mental state, history or background; the moment she said “no” to any sexual advances – rape is happening.

Rape is rape and there is no better way to justify it.

Instead of teaching our young girls and women to dress appropriately, avoid men, be alert to possible sexual harassment; why don’t we teach men and young boys NEVER TO RAPE regardless of.

It’s about time to teach MEN and BOYS never to rape.

Most rape victims never get the chance to report/talk about it for a very simple reason that; OUR SOCIETY WAS NEVER KIND TO ANY WOMAN SPEAKING HER TRUTH. Maybe it’s time we change that. Stop victim blaming. Stop victim shaming. When rape happens there are only two people who can tell their truths; the victim and the perpetrator, aside from them no one, NO ONE; thus no one has the right to shame or blame the victim as if they were present when it happened.

#16DaysOfActivismAgainstGenderBasedViolence 

P. S.

When I saw Sadje’s Photo Prompt, I immediately thought of the sad and prevailing rape culture in our society.

How Christmas Should Be

How Christmas Should Be

i can hear the sleigh bells ringing
just as the doors are slowly closing
for the vagabonds across the street
praying for a magical Christmas treat.

i can see the snowflakes falling
just as homes are shaking
for all the war zone cities
hoping for a peaceful Christmas.

i can feel the gust of wind blowing
just as dreams are gradually dying
for victims of abuse and violence
wishing for a lovely Christmas chance.

i can smell the midnight coffee brewing
just as the elderly people are crying
on a cold winter night in the home for the aged
wishing they were with their loved ones on Christmas eve.

i can taste the burnt cheesecake in my mouth, melting
just as the egos and pride are concluding
for friends and families joyfully reunited
celebrating Christmas with love and gratitude.

P.S

The festive mood of the photo reminds me of the forthcoming Christmas and what would it be like to those who are less fortunate and in great despair.

For Sadje’s WDY

I Pray

I Pray

Ukraine and Russia are still at war
for months and maybe years more
children are no longer out to play
i bow down and pray it won’t stay.

war ruined communities and families
disrupts economic fabric of nations
creates long term harm to people
reduction in human and material capital.

war is never the answer to a dispute
it’s never the solution nor absolute
i hope one day we’d be happy and gay
i bow down in supplication and pray.

Iran sentenced 15k protesters to death
of “enmity against God” and “spreading
corruption on earth”
a punishment for not being obedient
or simply being an oppressive tyrant?

tyranny is at most harsh and  cruel
prevents people from reaching full potential
i hope one day we’d live freely
i bow down in plea and pray.

more than the war in Ukraine
and the tyranny in Iran
we all rage our own wars
we all are silent tyrants.

these kind of wars are even more dangerous
it destroy self worth, dreams and ambitions
the tyrants among us are more oppressive
it put a death sentence to all that we hope and
we believe.

i bow down in supplication and pray
we find inner peace one day.

For Sadje’s WDYS

I Am Sorry

I Am Sorry

my baby, my angel,
i love everything about you.
the moment i breath life upon you
i’ve made plans for you
in case i don’t make it when you’re a bit older.

even when you cannot love yourself,
i want you to embrace happiness,
love, joy, and good health.

i hope you’d be
compassionate and kind
even to those who’d make life
a little bit harder than what you deserve of,
even more to them.

i worry about you
you’re a  bit fragile i know
do not ever forget that no matter
where this life takes you,
i will be here cheering you on,
ready to love you with open arms.

sadly, you didn’t make it out of this world
i was broken  into million little pieces
while i was preparing the life you would have
you were hanging on tightly for the life you want
i am sorry, my body didn’t get to hold you long
long enough for you to make it on your
ninth month.

i am sorrry my dear
i promise you will be remembered forever
i promise i will live the life i want for you
a life full of happiness, love, joy and good health
a life full of compassion and kindness.

i promise.

For Sadje’s WDYS

Paper Planes And Paper Boats

Paper Planes And Paper Boats

your
goodbye
was all
that i needed.

to
shut
the door
close
the gate
from where
i am.

for
even with
the door
open
you’re out
somewhere
anyway.

so
let me
close it
for real
for good.

let
all our
memories
fade
away.

let
it be like
paper planes
we once played
upon the air
as a kid.

let
it be like
paper boats
we once made
which never float.

like
paper planes
and paper boats
ours was
a story so fragile
so breakable
was easily destroyed.

remember
for every
gust of wind
there was once
a paper plane.

remember
for every
puddle of water
there was once
a paper boat.

there was
once us.

For Sadje’s WDYS

I Hope You Remember

I Hope You Remember

i hope you remember the smell of the roasted coffee
in our favorite place
where millions and millions of stories from miles and miles away
where connected and bridged together over a single shot americano
and you with your favorite cafe latte overloaded with sugar
i hope you remember how our stories made coffee time
not just incredible but one hell of a kind.

i hope you remember the first coffee drive-thru we had
with me over the cloud and over the moon, trying to grasp
the feeling of finally being seated right next to you after years
and you are speechless for the first time in your life, maybe
and you can’t take your eyes off me.

i hope you remember the countless times we made our coffee cold
with me over my endless out-of-this-world story-telling spree
and you couldn’t stop laughing at all of my epic fails
which i graciously claimed to have handled so well with pride
but you’d refute it by saying, ’twas funny but humiliating.

i hope you remember how we bonded over that sweet, nutty aroma smell
with me proudly proclaiming i could live with coffee and coffee alone
and you looking disgusted and disappointed ‘cos you’d rather hear me say
i could live with you and you alone.

i hope you remember, ‘cos i will always
remember us that way
the smile, the laughter, the tears, the longing, the wanting
the passion, the love, and the hope for forever
i will always remember us that way.

for Sadje’s WDYS

I Relinquish

I Relinquish

my years of restless nights
the pain i hide inside
the smile i keep
to camouflage
with the scars, i nurture
i relinquish
to the universe to
carry the burden
so heavy.
every single spark of hope
i carry around
that keeps me goin’,
i relinquish
to the moon and back
and let the sunshine
take away all my pain
let the moonlight
cast upon all my sorrows.
i relinquish
i surrender
i’m done.
and so maybe, just maybe
if you give me a call
i sure would surrender
to love’s final call
for i would not want anything
but you.
i surrender.

for Sadje’s WDYS

Hey

Hey

hey there, how’s life i haven’t seen you for a while
i’ve been sad, even mad, for all the crazy things in my life,
i’ve watched you drift away slowly, gently, and i just let it happen
is this what i really want? i ask myself
i know the answer is “no”
but damn! here i am again with my overbearing pride.

i miss your sweet smile and your tender cuddle
on your couch in front of all
not mindful what they were thinking, ‘cos all we wanna do
is tell the whole world how much love has made us feel high
and I miss your sweet kiss that late afternoon in March
with your unassuming mommy on the look.

i miss your coffee-colored milky skin
it looked so good it made me pinched you all the time
i’d do anything to touch it again, right now, right here
and this is me not mindful of my pride saying
i regret everything i said last night ‘cos the truth is
i miss you, and i miss those late afternoon cuddles and embraces
on your couch with your unassuming mommy on the look.

i swear i’d run to you the moment i’m okay, ‘cos the truth is i miss you, and i miss those crazy afternoon banters we have
over a cup of coffee with your favorite cookie on the side
i miss you, and i miss us laughing like crazy maniacs
watching our favorite t.v. show
for like a million times.

this is me begging you to take me back in time
when silence was our biggest scream of i love you
when our days were filled with moments of sweet nothings and honeyed thoughtful words
‘cos for now, our silence feels like oblivion, feels like lost in limbo
and our words cut deeper than the sharpest knife
they come in rapid fire, like work tools knives lined up ready to take on the grind
and i really miss you, and i miss those late afternoon cuddles and embraces
on your couch with your unassuming mommy on the look.

p.s.

i will be very slow in responding/commenting please bear with me. 🙏❤

For Sadje’s WDYS

Eyes

Eyes

“there’s just so much life in your eyes,” you said.

“oh, well darling, that is because i’ve witnessed my own death, and up to this moment i’m still fighting for my dear life,” i replied.

“i’m hoping my eyes could save me.”

“ah! no, i’m hoping you’d see it, and you’ll save me from my untimely death.”